I spent Christmas this year with my family. This is my first Christmas as a parent. I have an Aunt who I don’t see very often and therefore she does not see my LO often either, but this is her own doing as she doesnt bother coming round to see us or even text/message us. She has seen baby maybe 3 times since they were born. We believe this is because she disagrees with a lot of the things we have decided to do such as no kissing and I am BF, so she couldn’t come round and bottle feed which she was really sad about at first (but thats a different story).
For context in this story I have a brother who I do not speak to for many different difficult reasons, mostly surrounding him being violent, and the way he acts under the influence. My aunt has never supported me going low contact with my sibling as she thinks ’family is the most important thing’ even if they are violent apparently, but the rest of my family are understanding about the situation. I always act civil when he is at family events, i just try my best to keep away when alcohol is involved. Obviously, during Christmas this isn't as possible as it is normally is.
On Christmas my aunt kept grabbing my LO out of my arms and passing them to my cousin without really asking. This is annoying especially because my LO is starting to walk and likes to crawl around themselves now, so they dont need to be held constantly. I tried to tell her several times to leave my child be as they were fine and didnt need held but this was ignored. I forgave this at the time though as I understand babies are very cute and the first baby in a long time in the family so i try to be understanding.
My brother was drinking and so i sat away from him and kept my child away. However towards the end of the evening my Aunt kept trying to grab my baby from me or pick them up constantly and taking them over to see their ‘Uncle’ and letting him hold my child while drinking! I said several times to stop doing this and trying to take my child back but i was just completely ignored by everyone as its ‘babies uncle let him hold them’, and it got to the point that i took my LO and held them every time my aunt came near. DH is also ignored, no matter what we say. Aunt just doesn’t listen to anyone.
I still just cant get over how disrespected i felt in the moment and next year am considering just not seeing anyone at Christmas except my parents because i am so tired of being ignored! I know this will start so much trouble with my aunt because she will want everyone at hers again for Christmas, as it is ‘traditional’. I know my DH will respect whatever decision i make, even if that means conflict. I just feel bad this might cause issues for my poor parents.
I dont know if I'm overreacting because I do have bad anxiety (mostly due to a violent event involving brother) and have been told before im being one of ‘those’ FTM because i am young (this was because of the no kissing rule), or if this is just odd disrespectful behaviour?