Is this just rude or do I need to suck it up?

[sellotapestucktomyarse]

NC as this is quite outing. Big birthday coming up and I have decided to book a break away for a few days with my DH. I’m not a party kind of person but thought a lovely break away, just the two of us over my birthday and then celebrate by going for a meal with my DD (19), siblings and DP’s when we get back. This was also the only break myself and DH will get alone in this next year as we have other holidays / breaks booked but with above family. DP have today ‘surprised me’ and told me that they have booked to come along on break away over my birthday. This was the only break myself and my DH were getting alone and I’m so upset that they have booked without even speaking to us about this. My DH has said we will still have a great time as we are really close with my DP’s but I just think it’s rude to just announce you’re crashing someone’s holiday. My DP have form for doing things on impulse including booking other breaks for us all to go on, but without speaking to us, firstly to check we want to do it and secondly to see of leave can be taken. I have asked them before not to do it as we both work FT and it means taking leave when we don’t necessarily want to and having to change other plans. I know I sound ungrateful and I need to just suck it up now and go with it, but AIBU to think this is just rude?

I agree that you need to tell them to cancel or change your booking.

But, more generally, why do you change plans and take annual leave to go on trips that they have booked at other times? Can’t you tell them no?

I'd be annoyed too. Do you feel like you could talk to them about it and ask them to cancel?

Completely out of order! Ffs I'd be pissed off too but my dm would pull something like this too. You have my sympathy op

Tell them this was supposed to be a romantic break for you, like you needed to work on your sex life. I think DF can understand why him being around might spoil things..

Beware the sunk cost fallacy.
How much will it cost to change the hotel versus how much you do you need the break without your parents ?

Very rude to assume without any discussion that they will be welcome on what was planned as a romantic trip for a couple. Do they have no self-awareness?

I'd ring the hotel and explain. Maybe you'll get someone sympathetic

Tell your parents you hope they won't get bored on your romantic holiday with your husband because you and he plan to be having a LOT of sex. That's why you booked the time away as a couple.

Unfortunately not, because the OP has already explained that it will cost to change it.

Thanks for your responses. I spoke to my DH last night and he said he couldn’t believe they had done it. He was as shocked as me. We’re really close to my parents and have a great time when we go away with them. My DF has form for getting an idea into his head and running with it without thinking that we work and can’t take time off at the drop of a hat (they’re both retired). I also need to tell them that we have booked in advance because they look after our animals for us. (Yep that wasn’t thought about either!) They’re extremely generous people and are in the winter of their lives which makes it harder on us because due to ill health on them both we want to do as much with them as we can BUT it doesn’t give them the right to just tag along without asking! They’ve paid for the holiday in full (although can get a good amount back) and paid for their travel insurance which has cost a fortune because of health issues. This isn’t refundable. I’m going to speak to them today and ask them to move the holiday to one we can all go on together but this one is for myself and my DH.

I hope they are understanding when you speak to them @sellotapestucktomyarse. You absolutely deserve this holiday on your own. Even though it'd going to cost them some money - that's not your fault, and maybe it might make them think twice next time 🤞🏻 let us know how it goes? X