Always on phone but never replies!

[Cocolove287]

AIBU to start getting annoyed at my brother & SIL who are always on their phones / posting on social media constantly but yet take days to reply to a simple text I send or just ignore it altogether?

I know they're younger (brother is 26 and my SIL 24) and their friends are their priority, but honestly I'm finding it increasingly rude that they can't seem to reply to a text I send.

Before people say I'm harassing them, I'm really not. I've sent a grand total of 2 texts to them in about as many weeks, simple questions about plans to do with Christmas & taxi options that require a simple yes / no response at most. Yet first one went ignored for a week by brother and the second to SIL was just ignored entirely. Then when I see her it's 'oh sorry I missed that text' yet then proceeds to spend the majority of the day on her phone!

I honestly find it just rude & insulting at this point.

I would stop texting them. If they don’t want to make plans or arrangements then I wouldn’t either.

It’s not about how many texts you send, it could be the length of the message or the lack of clarity etc. Basically there’s something about you and your messages that takes more headspace to respond to.

Whether that’s because they don’t like you as much as their friends as you think, or whether it’s simply because it takes them seconds to mindlessly use social media but more effort to respond to the questions you’re sending. They might need to iron out plans etc.

Whatever it is, just change your communication approach as it’s obviously not working. If they’re rude, distance yourself from them or confront them. If you need an urgent response, call them. If you need a response to check their preferences but can move on without their input, just say that. Eg “appreciate you’re busy so if you can’t get back to me about the taxi, I won’t book it” etc.

Also I don’t know why your post focuses on your SIL as opposed to your own brother. He’s your relative, you should take it up with him. She’s following his approach as he’s your family member.

I often don’t reply to messages because it overwhelms me. I get so many WhatsApp messages a day that I can’t cope and I don’t open the app at all.

I use my phone all the time but reading and responding to messages gives me the same dread as checking my bank balance in my 20s. I have ADHD though so I think that plays a part as I bury my head in the sand with anything like this. I just don’t have the brain space to catch up with all the messages. But I just say ‘sorry I missed that message!’

Yes, it is annoying. Although, they might receive a huge amount of messages and skip some so you might not be purposely ignored. Still annoying though.
Maybe, you can just call them when you need a quick answer?

Organise your life without them.
It'll make things much less stressful for you.

And for the people who say 'ring them' Best voicemail message ever ... Leave a message after the beep.or send a text like a normal person.

My Gran always said 'the phone is for my convenience not theirs' if someone called when she wasn't ready to answer. They might not be stuck to the wall anymore but the point stands imo.