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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To feel totally burnt out by Christmas

45 replies

NewMomma21 · 27/12/2024 07:53

I guess I’m hoping I might find some solidarity on here.

Im completely exhausted after Christmas, really to the extent that I couldn’t honestly say I enjoyed it all that much. I have two DS 1&3. Both have been sick constantly since older DS began preschool. Both have had a lot of sick nights, GP visits and on occasion A&E visits. I haven’t had a full nights sleep since August.

In the lead up to Christmas I got the flu myself had essentially no time to recover, still had to organise all the gifts, and DS 1 ended up in A&E with bad tonsillitis. DS is a high needs child at the best of times and cries a lot .

I feel like I’ve just sleep walked through Christmas. While I’ve enjoyed seeing DS happy with their gifts I’ve just felt very little joy. The mental load of organizing everything, work, the constant noise of DS1 whinging, the lack of sleep. It’s just so hard.

OP posts:
Moonwalkies · 27/12/2024 10:14

No I have a DH but he shoulders very little of the burden. The mental load of everything falls to me.

He sounds pathetic, my ex was the same. Christmases alone with DS have been much less stressful than when I was with this waste of space.

Calamitousness · 27/12/2024 10:21

its not Christmas that has broken you. It’s your husband.
lack of sleep is torture. He should be shouldering half of the load of you are working too. Otherwise he should let you have a weekend night/day to reset and he gets the other.
Never ever leave and take the children home to allow him to enjoy himself. What about you? It’s bloody Xmas. You deserve to enjoy as well. If he helped with his children both of you could enjoy it.
of course your kids will be constantly sick. That’s the first year of nursery. Not diet related. It just is, but it’s good for them and will serve them well in the end. We have extensive knowledge now of what happens when children are not exposed to routine bugs during covid and it was extremely detrimental to their health and serious illness arose when previously it wouldn’t.
kick your husband up the arse and get him involved in reading his children.

PowerTulle · 27/12/2024 10:42

I think if you’re the one shouldering the children’s needs and all the practical stuff, then you need Christmas on your own terms. I have a high needs DC and a disorganised (!) DH. Here’s what I did from when DC’s were tiny

DH organises his own extended family members presents. The first year after DC1 born he tried to get out of it by leaving it until the very last moment and assuming I’d give in. I didn’t. Cue DH shopping in a panic on Xmas Eve. He has now got the message.

No traveling anywhere. I will welcome anyone in with drinks, mince pies and snacks but I’m not dragging grumpy, overexcited DC’s around relatives.

I don’t cook. Again this was laid down when DC1 was small and poorly. I cook for 51 weeks of the year. This week either DH cooks or we have buffet food. DH has now magically learned he can do Xmas dinner himself.

Make it clear now that 2025 will be different and something for you to look forward to.

NewMomma21 · 27/12/2024 10:51

PowerTulle · 27/12/2024 10:42

I think if you’re the one shouldering the children’s needs and all the practical stuff, then you need Christmas on your own terms. I have a high needs DC and a disorganised (!) DH. Here’s what I did from when DC’s were tiny

DH organises his own extended family members presents. The first year after DC1 born he tried to get out of it by leaving it until the very last moment and assuming I’d give in. I didn’t. Cue DH shopping in a panic on Xmas Eve. He has now got the message.

No traveling anywhere. I will welcome anyone in with drinks, mince pies and snacks but I’m not dragging grumpy, overexcited DC’s around relatives.

I don’t cook. Again this was laid down when DC1 was small and poorly. I cook for 51 weeks of the year. This week either DH cooks or we have buffet food. DH has now magically learned he can do Xmas dinner himself.

Make it clear now that 2025 will be different and something for you to look forward to.

I always take so much comfort when I hear from parents of other high needs baby’s. DS cried relentlessly all day every day for 8 months. He has improved since walking but is now frustrated he can’t communicate. DS hated being a baby and it was truly awful. I see friends with their adorable DC playing nicely and I have DS who cries about 500 times a day in frustration. It makes the expectation- reality gap all the more difficult at Christmas.

I think I will revisit the plans for next year. I would actually love to host, I miss cooking and planning nice meals for adults. But right now it’s impossible to imagine a time where this would be possible. I miss having a clean, organised house and I really miss quiet. The constant noise and stimulation can be so hard when piled on top of sleep deprivation.

OP posts:
Nothatgingerpirate · 27/12/2024 10:55

Calamitousness · 27/12/2024 10:21

its not Christmas that has broken you. It’s your husband.
lack of sleep is torture. He should be shouldering half of the load of you are working too. Otherwise he should let you have a weekend night/day to reset and he gets the other.
Never ever leave and take the children home to allow him to enjoy himself. What about you? It’s bloody Xmas. You deserve to enjoy as well. If he helped with his children both of you could enjoy it.
of course your kids will be constantly sick. That’s the first year of nursery. Not diet related. It just is, but it’s good for them and will serve them well in the end. We have extensive knowledge now of what happens when children are not exposed to routine bugs during covid and it was extremely detrimental to their health and serious illness arose when previously it wouldn’t.
kick your husband up the arse and get him involved in reading his children.

Enough for me to fully agree just after reading the first sentence.
Another lazy, pathetic twat.

DarkForces · 27/12/2024 10:57

It doesn't have to be forever. Strip it right back next year and reinstate the bits you miss. You might be surprised how little you do!

SneakyLilNameChange · 27/12/2024 10:59

YANBU at all. I was saying to my mum this is the best I've felt at Christmas as I slept the night before, kids werent up crazy early (anything after 6 is fine in my eyes!) and they just went off and played all day- v little parenting needed!! Kids are 7 and 4. When they're both little its incredibly hard work but it gets soo much better.

leaderZ · 27/12/2024 11:02

Hey

I used to be like this with 3 age 0-4

What changed:

  • told him to leave after not changing and forced him out. Gave him tje jolt he needed. Did a long lost of jobs and je took some
  • he does repeatedanle boring jobs eg he took over all medical (as likes it); garden & bins; he organises and pays cleaner;
  • we split up the kids. I did 2 girls he did 1 boy. All clothes, presents, parties, playdates. Repeatedly f&&&ed up but made him continue l. Made him get into cubs, know some dads, football circuit. Guilt tripped when son was let down I NEVER STEPPED IN (busy w girls activies & parties)
  • made him wrap presents ie 11pm xmas eve not done. Oh well no presents for X I'll return them
  • kids gave him their lists. Engineeree seasions eg in car where kids told him what they wanted. Then i would say you are buying X I am doing Y child

Things never improved on:

  • food he isnt bothered cut my losses. Do take aways twice a week usuwlly sushi or kebab but healthy ie when I work late
  • clothing still useless but now son a teenager he kust needs a card and permission of adult

Its very worth doing u need to tackle full on.

BondStreet · 27/12/2024 11:04

It gets easier OP as the Dc get older but I do know what you mean, I feel exhausted and am looking forward to a good few days of RnR and some leisurely walks/bike rides.

Try and take it easy when you can.

NewMomma21 · 27/12/2024 11:27

DarkForces · 27/12/2024 10:57

It doesn't have to be forever. Strip it right back next year and reinstate the bits you miss. You might be surprised how little you do!

Unfortunately DB is abroad and has said he won’t come back for Christmas again. DS had said she didn’t want to travel the 30mins to DPS on Christmas Day so unless I go to them they wont see anyone on Christmas Day. DF refuses to do Christmas anywhere but his own house. DMIL is on her own and hosts her family so we have to go to her. It can be very difficult to try keep everyone happy. Everyone wants to see DC but on their terms only.

OP posts:
Butthistimesticktoit · 27/12/2024 11:33

I really empathise with you, it is a brutal awakening when you realise that 99% of the ‘Magic of Christmas’ is just the magic of women’s tireless, thankless, invisible and unseen work.

I have had some brutal conversations with myself over the years, and with DH and with everyone.

One of the things that I think we don’t talk about as much is the pressure women put on women to do Christmas ‘right’ because frankly a lot of men could not give a fuck.

I like you am not long out of a renovation and this year I noticed that all the lovely interior decor people I followed for inspiration were going into insane overdrive with handmade decor and mantel swags and homemade orange slices and garlands and ‘sourced’ vintage decorations. I have actually made a vow to switch off idly flicking through my interiors insta account from august onwards as from there to Jan it’s just relentless fall/halloween/christmas invented work that we do not need to do. One wreath: fine. Everything else I’m saving up for and getting from balsam hill.

Presents, Christmas Eve boxes, bla bla - fuck it all off. I’ve agreed with sister that not doing presents with each other, don’t do presents with DH but we do some extravagant sale shopping together. Only buy for kids and parents and don’t go too crazy on parents as they don’t like want or need it. Shove niblings £20 each and mine get same from aunts etc. My mum would prob prefer more froufrouness, but she actually gave herself a nervous breakdown at my age from trying to do all the things all the time, so I avoid accepting her advice as gospel. I have actually realised A LOT of my festive burnout comes either overtly or unconsciously from my mother’s expectations of me, so it’s worth thinking about who in your life makes you feel stressed out around this time and why.

Do you have long term renovation burnout as well? It’s completely brutal and exhausting, it took me a good year and a half to recover.

Re DH - figure out what is on him to do and hand it over completely. Re presents - I have rationalised this this way: I’m a bit of a control freak and I enjoy getting kids to do their letters etc and then sorting out thw shopping which this year was a couple of mammoth online sessions and two quite fun trips shopping on my own, 45 mins each. I buy all the wrapping etc myself and enjoy that aspect. I tell myself there’s a lot of women out there every year who would love a generally caring responsible loving husband who shares all income and is happy for me to buy carte blanche whatever the hell I feel like the kids want/need and then is suitably grateful that he didn’t have to do it. But that’s because that is what works for us.

Maybe think about booking a day’s holiday together when the kids are at nursery or whatever, deciding on and shopping for the bulk of the Santa lists together then getting lunch.

Basically every year think NOW anout what has worked for you, what you hated and resented or was expensively pointless and try and remember that! I now make a Christmas note to read the following year in my diary to remind me what to do and not do (A memorable one was remember that no one appreciates or gives a fuck about your Jamie Oliver gravy so don’t bother).

DarkForces · 27/12/2024 11:34

NewMomma21 · 27/12/2024 11:27

Unfortunately DB is abroad and has said he won’t come back for Christmas again. DS had said she didn’t want to travel the 30mins to DPS on Christmas Day so unless I go to them they wont see anyone on Christmas Day. DF refuses to do Christmas anywhere but his own house. DMIL is on her own and hosts her family so we have to go to her. It can be very difficult to try keep everyone happy. Everyone wants to see DC but on their terms only.

That sounds hard. I'd try to reframe it as your chance to do exactly what you want. Offer them options you find acceptable and doable and if they decline then that's fine. It's not worth burning yourself out over. You've got enough on your plate (hug).

Edited to add: the only people you need to make happy are you and your children! The happiness of other adults is their responsibility. If they want to see you it's on your terms.

mnreader · 27/12/2024 11:40

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

ClementineChurchill · 27/12/2024 11:46

NewMomma21 · 27/12/2024 11:27

Unfortunately DB is abroad and has said he won’t come back for Christmas again. DS had said she didn’t want to travel the 30mins to DPS on Christmas Day so unless I go to them they wont see anyone on Christmas Day. DF refuses to do Christmas anywhere but his own house. DMIL is on her own and hosts her family so we have to go to her. It can be very difficult to try keep everyone happy. Everyone wants to see DC but on their terms only.

The thing is though, it’s always you who ends up getting squeezed so that everyone else gets to do things how they want. What about what you want? Why are the people in your life not making compromises for you? Why do you always have to compromise for them?

You have a biiiiiiig DH problem. Hopefully this thread has made you realise that.

In 2025 the most important words in your life are going to be “I NEED”. Practice saying them a lot. Say them to everyone around you. Every time you feel bad saying them, or reluctant to say them, ask yourself why. Tell yourself it’s ok to have needs. Express yourself …
I NEED MORE SLEEP.
I NEED A BREAK.
I NEED SOMEONE WHO SHARES THE LOAD.
etc

Wakeywake · 27/12/2024 11:51

You've got a lot on your plate, of course you're burnt out. Make sure you carve out some time for yourself if you can.

HappySonHappyMum · 27/12/2024 12:05

NewMomma21 · 27/12/2024 11:27

Unfortunately DB is abroad and has said he won’t come back for Christmas again. DS had said she didn’t want to travel the 30mins to DPS on Christmas Day so unless I go to them they wont see anyone on Christmas Day. DF refuses to do Christmas anywhere but his own house. DMIL is on her own and hosts her family so we have to go to her. It can be very difficult to try keep everyone happy. Everyone wants to see DC but on their terms only.

I'm struggling to see why their 'wants' trump yours? And I say this as someone who has cooked Christmas dinner and hosted the whole family (from both sides) for the last 25 years. If I'd have know back then that trying to make everyone happy would only place the burden fully on me - I would have considered my own needs as well rather than putting everyone else's before mine. DF won't travel - then then your DPS are on their own - this might force your DS and DB to step up who clearly don't give a shiny shit as they know you're bending over backwards to care for their parents so have to do nothing. Invite DMIL, you can then be in charge of the cooking times. Your parents might feel left out and DF might decide he can travel after all! Plan Christmas in November - give our DH a fully itemised list of things he needs to do and LEAVE HIM TO IT! If he forgets to do things it's on him, hold your nerve and don't take over. When my kids did things badly when they were little I used to tell them that they just needed more practice - that is what your DH needs to be told. Follow through. Work out the easiest ways of achieving the things that need to be done. Hate wrapping - buy gift bags. Hate cooking - buy ready to cook food. Hate the last minute shop - break it down and but non perishables over a number of weeks. You deserve a good Christmas too.

HappySonHappyMum · 27/12/2024 12:07

HappySonHappyMum · 27/12/2024 12:05

I'm struggling to see why their 'wants' trump yours? And I say this as someone who has cooked Christmas dinner and hosted the whole family (from both sides) for the last 25 years. If I'd have know back then that trying to make everyone happy would only place the burden fully on me - I would have considered my own needs as well rather than putting everyone else's before mine. DF won't travel - then then your DPS are on their own - this might force your DS and DB to step up who clearly don't give a shiny shit as they know you're bending over backwards to care for their parents so have to do nothing. Invite DMIL, you can then be in charge of the cooking times. Your parents might feel left out and DF might decide he can travel after all! Plan Christmas in November - give our DH a fully itemised list of things he needs to do and LEAVE HIM TO IT! If he forgets to do things it's on him, hold your nerve and don't take over. When my kids did things badly when they were little I used to tell them that they just needed more practice - that is what your DH needs to be told. Follow through. Work out the easiest ways of achieving the things that need to be done. Hate wrapping - buy gift bags. Hate cooking - buy ready to cook food. Hate the last minute shop - break it down and but non perishables over a number of weeks. You deserve a good Christmas too.

Just reread - your DMIL hosts her family - you can see her on another day then - she's not alone!

PowerTulle · 27/12/2024 12:17

OP the only things your DH was responsible for, were the nice little things you wanted. Which he forgot with no consequences to him.

Make him take responsibility for the things that’ll bite him on the arse if he forgets. (And order yourself a delivery of flowers and chocs as a reward for being an excellent mum).

Delatron · 27/12/2024 13:10

It’s exhausting because you’re doing everything with no help. Plus the illnesses will have run you down.

When my DH tried to get me to take on the present buying for his family I stood firm. It took years of him forgetting, of his Mum having a go at me, I’d remind her it was up to him. His nieces and nephews not having presents, his sister being upset. Finally he has reminders in his diary and he does his side of the family. But bloody hell it took nerves of steel for me to stay strong.

He also now helps me with the wrapping. He peels and preps with me. He tidies up afterwards. I’m still exhausted but you have to be firm with them to do their share.

Allswellthatendswelll · 27/12/2024 13:35

NewMomma21 · 27/12/2024 11:27

Unfortunately DB is abroad and has said he won’t come back for Christmas again. DS had said she didn’t want to travel the 30mins to DPS on Christmas Day so unless I go to them they wont see anyone on Christmas Day. DF refuses to do Christmas anywhere but his own house. DMIL is on her own and hosts her family so we have to go to her. It can be very difficult to try keep everyone happy. Everyone wants to see DC but on their terms only.

You need to put your foot down. If you must go to theirs then it's one family one day and one another. We did it all with my family on Christmas Eve and they had a quiet Christmas day while we were all at respective inlaws which was completely fine. Bring sandwiches for the children in case dinner is running late again (my DM and MIL would have both offered them a snack). I'm shocked DH made you take them home on your own and miss the puddings! Next year you both leave and have your pudding at home.

Christmas with small kids is exhausting but it sounds like you are bending over backwards for others and not getting the same consideration in return.

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