to ask if you are ok?

[SnoringHound]

I’ve been hit with an awful dose of Covid, and for me, when I’m physically ill, my mental health just plummets. I suppose a lot of my physical conditions are tied into my mental conditions, and being sick just makes it all a perfect storm. Add in the disappointment of a ruined Christmas due to illness, it all just got too much for me. I tried to tough it out for as long as I could, but when you’re not well, you’re just not well. Things got dark.

But fortunately for me, my family are amazing. My mam let me cry into her lap like a child again once that dam burst open, dad made me a cup of tea and got me a cupcake and my brother offered to look after my dog so I could get some rest. I feel guilty on one hand, but on the other, I feel relieved to have such a wonderful family. I’m truly fortunate to have them and will make it up to them over the next while, but it does make me think of how many people are in my same position with no one to vent to, no one to reach out to and just chat with for multiple reasons.

So mumsnet, tell me, are you ok?

I'm ok. But Christmas has been far from ideal. I've got an awful cold/flu type thing and spent Christmas day afternoon visiting my nan in hospital while my young kids were entertained by DH (it's not looking good tbh).

I’m sorry that you are struggling. Your family sound really lovely.

I’m ok. Dh had a serious health scare just before Christmas but thankfully he was ok. We are feeling very thankful though and holding each other close.
My babies have all grown up which made Christmas quite unusual this year.

I’m so, so sorry. Loss is never something you can prepare for, and definitely not something that simple words can resolve, but I am thinking of you, and your entire family at this time ❤️

They truly are ❤️

I’m so thankful to hear your DH is on the mend but that must have been so terrifying for all of you. Here’s to many happy and healthy years ahead of you all ❤️

Thanks for asking OP.
My lovely FIL died on Christmas Day yesterday. We got the call just as we were making lunch. Devastating. Trying to support DH and keep everything as Christmassy as possible for the DC.

Sorry to hear you are struggling...glad to see that you have family support. So important and helps for sure. I really struggled yesterday truthfully...so glad to see the back of it. Have numerous health conditions and in the deep depths with my mental health also...certainly pouring that's for sure. I appreciate everyone has something going on in their lives but it definitely helps when you have someone close who understands and you can lean on. X

Thanks for asking and glad you're being supported OP. I'm caring for my mother with advanced parkinsons at the moment. Quit my job and moved back to my home city to support her in October, intending it to be a bridge to a care package. Her condition has nose dived even in the few weeks but she won't entertain a conversation about carers so I'm leaving her to start a new job in Jan with nothing sorted. My sister is nearby and will help a bit, and she has caring friends and neighbours but she shouldn't be alone at all. Haven't a clue what to do. My partner covered all expenses and never once complained that I left him for three months to live with my mum in a different country but I can't extend it any further, for the sake of sanity/finances/relationships. We've had a lovely Xmas, knowing it's likely her last but I'm heartbroken and anxious as fuck to be leaving.

Feeling very flat and empty, I can literally feel I’ve lost my spark. I can feel it and it’s horrible, I don’t want to be around people but then vegetate when I’m by myself. I’m in such a rut and need to get that spark back, just want to feel happy

What are we, Meghan Markle?

I've left my husband and young adult son at home while I've come to the other end of the country to spend Christmas with my mother. It's the first one since my father died and it's weird just being to two of us, although my sister and partner joined us for lunch yesterday, a 7 hour round trip for them. Sis has her grandchildren today so couldn't stay over. Which actually works in my favour somewhat as I could have the bigger spare room.

I'm really looking forward to being home soon, though dreading that the journey will be like last year and full of rail replacement buses.

I hope you feel much better very soon,

I’m not.
I lost my gran, and leant very much on one person who offered me kindness, gentleness and friendship when my family didn’t step up. She was a lifeline.
Then in November, just as I was coming to the end of my grief counseling and feeling a bit more positive, she turned on me and humiliated me in the worst way she could in her position. I am devastated, feeling really traumatized, crying a lot and just trying to be normal for my mum.

Thank you for asking OP. Nobody has asked me this for a while.
I am not ok. I had a relationship end recently, I realise that yet again I have been a door mat
My health isn’t great, feel unwell a lot of the time and got a smear result back recently showing high grade changes so now got to wait for further tests
My friends don’t seem to care too much and I feel like a burden on them most of the time. I think they feel sorry for me. I feel pathetic.
I keep trying and trying to pick myself up without being a burden to anyone but I just keep getting knocked back down and have no energy left. I am terrified for my health.

@Nextyearhopes I'm so sorry for the loss of your gran.
What happened with your 'friend' sounds horrible and very confusing. I'd just like to suggest that it's not you - the person maybe overstretched themselves supporting you and then suffered a reaction that they were unable to control. Not excusing their horrible behaviour, just trying to say please don't blame yourself. I really hope you feel much much better soon and things look up for you. 💕

@heldinadream you are right, many people are saying the same.
She was in a position of power but was inexperienced, saw in me someone she could take under her wing and befriend, and let her heart take over. She then realised she had probably overstepped (not that I would ever, ever have accused her of anything, I knew she was just being kind), and instead of just talking to me gently, turned it all on me and threw me under a bus, subjected me to a three week wait before a truly terribly meeting. I am so traumatized and humiliated.

Sorry this is a bit vague. I don’t want to be too outing. I just hope time will heal. I was doing so so well with my counseling. I am not confused now. I am just hurting.

@SnoringHound thank you so much for asking, that’s amazingly thoughtful of you.
I think my Christmas has been a bit like yours. I’ve had a horrendous virus and if I was single and childless I’d have been in bed since 24th, but with 4 dc and a DH who has had health problems recently (recovering ok now) instead I’ve done the food shop, bought last minute gifts, tidied the house, wrapped everything, made Christmas dinner. Then dinner was awkward as DH chose then to grill dd about future careers and didn’t like how the conversation went.
I had a little cry as I started clearing up ( by myself again) but my ds18 came and took over with ds13. They gave me lots of hugs then sent me off for a bath with a new book, and were lovely. Made me realise how lucky I am.

Realised I didn't actually answer the question. I'm not ok but I will be.

Hope you’re feeling better soon @SnoringHound. Glad your family are being so supportive.

My DP has had a fairly severe headache for the last four weeks. He finally went to the GP last week and is now on the two week pathway. So Christmas Eve he had bloods and an MRI.
I’ve been so busy with run up to Christmas and the actual day I’ve not had much time to really think about it.

Had a few tears, trying not to let him see how worried I am. The rational me says he is probably fine, but it’s difficult not to worry.