AIBU - 11yr old DS sleepover

[Thewishingchair123]

Can I check parents thoughts. My 11DS went out to play with his two friends this afternooon. One friend (friend 1) has been over to ours regularly since primary school and I know his parents. The other friend (friend 2) I don’t know. He is at his secondary school (year 7), I’ve heard his name mentioned but I’ve never met him and don’t know his parents.
He text about 3:30 saying could he have a sleepover at friend 2s house (with friend 1). They live about 25 mins walk away,
I said he could but on the conditions he gives me his friend 2s address and also that I have the name/contact number of one of friend 2s parents - so I have a phone number of a responsible adult.

My DS says this is embarrassing and now refuses to go to friend 2s. Am I being unreasonable at 11 years old?

I would ask to talk to mum/dad.
If not no sleepover.

He’s lucky I would have said no to a sleepover with people I don’t know

He may feel embarrassed but you are right you need to know where he is and contact details.

Nope! Not one bit.

He's a fool isn't he? Because it would be no fuss to send you what you need. Instead now, there is a fuss.

Bloody kids. Teenage years incoming...

I would have asked for the same.

No you are not being unreasonable. He's 11. Stick to your guns.

How is it embarrassing? He could have just texted you the details!

Sounds suspiciously like they're up to no good, probably telling each parent they're at a different house!

Thanks all. My DS did give me the address but refused the other details (should have added that)

Go round there and knock on the door

I insist on my DS16 giving me his friends addresses if hes staying over their house. A couple of his friends parents have my number and always message me to ask if its ok if their son stays over. Its no biggy here. Id wonder if your child was up to no good? Do you have a tracker on their phone so you can see where they are? Eg find my iphone?

You're not unreasonable, if I suggested a child stay for a sleepover and didn't know the parents, then I'd suggest phoning them for a chat and to confirm the invitation.

But sure if it's that much of a problem for him to do as he's asked he can strop off home

And thanks. My absolute instinct was this was not on, but it’s reassuring to hear I am not being unreasonable , despite having the address.

What did you do?

No. End of.

You had the address
That should be plenty

My parents never had phone numbers for my friends when we stopped over. They just knew the address

@fanaticalfairy thanks for asking. I stuck to my guns and told him he could only go if I had contact details of Friend 2s parents (he did give me the address).
He was stroppy in texts but in the end said he didn’t want to go - apparently for different reasons ! He’s home now and fine with things. I’m glad I stuck to my boundaries and gut instinct.
Thank you x