To not be worried my four year old can’t write or draw

[hecantwriteyet]

He can make lines and that’s it; can’t colour in or draw anything resembling anything. I know people with children the same age who can write their names reasonably clearly. I’m just wondering if AIBU not to be worried about this … I’m hoping it will improve when he starts school in September.

My son was very resistant to any form of mark making. Nursery commented on it quite a bit but then COVID hit and nothing more was said. When he did learn to write it was messy and his drawings were a bit behind as to what his sisters had been producing at that age.

Fast forward a few years, he was the second child to get his pen licence in year 3, his handwriting is beautiful and he loves to draw and they are pretty good.

If you are concerned you could speak to the nursery staff if he attends or a health visitor?

That’s reassuring to know. Nursery haven’t mentioned it as being a concern at all which is largely why I haven’t been worried either but every so often I do worry we’re massively behind!

I wouldn’t be concerned that he can’t write, he will learn that once he starts school. I wouldn’t be too concerned he can’t draw either, would he copy you drawing shapes etc? Does he colour but not in the lines?

Maybe speak to the staff at his nursery? It’s probably not a problem if they haven’t mentioned anything.

Also if he’s already 4 he will be one of the older ones in the year which will automatically benefit him.

Might be dyspraxic. Might just not care about mark-making. Some kids (often but not always boys) are still barely producing stick men in Y6.

Too early to worry if everything else is OK. How are language and social skills? These are the things to worry about now.

Kids who have poor pencil control might need some opportunities to develop strength in arms: swimming, climbing frames, throwing balls etc. Fine motor skills depend upon good gross motor control.

But he might just not want to do mark making. Mine are all adults but still have handwriting that looks like a series of dead flies on a bumpy road.

Do activities that strengthen his hands like cutting pictures out of magazines and playing with plasticene, cutting up pastry etc. Lego is good too. He’ll pick up the pencil stuff when he gets to school.

Staff at the nursery my children attended for the first year of the Foundation stage (three and four year olds) insisted focus on gross motor skills feeds into fine motor skills and having kids climb trees and the climbing frames, playing with building blocks, digging in the sandpit etc at the nursery was essential learning. Certainly don’t be totally focussed on getting him to write and draw if he’s not yet interested.

Drawing can be frustrating for kids who don't have the skill to draw what they want. We used to play drawing consequences and just try to produce the weirdest monster - it meant there was no pressure to be neat.

dreambigathome.uk/activity/animal-consequences/

Thanks. His gross motor skills are brilliant; he can climb and run and swim really well. But he’s got little interest in sitting cutting, colouring or anything like that. It’s so good and reassuring to read he’s fine.

Dd2 was very much like this. Turned out she’s left handed, and was late to establish her handedness. Looking back, it now seems obvious that she didn’t want to attempt any real mark making because it felt completely wrong as she was attempting this with her right hand. The reception teacher did comment but I explained my handedness theory which she completely agreed with. I’d say by the end of reception she’d more than caught up.

She’s 14 now and still has an absolute loathing of all things arts and crafts (primary school homework was often arts and crafts related which was annoying; we eventually pushed back on doing it I’m afraid…). She’s in Year 9 and besides herself with joy that she can finally drop art at the end of the year!! Her writing is find and crucially she has good stamina to write a good few pages at once.

Op in your position I’d not stress too much right now but provide any opportunity to make marks, any marks. We used to enjoy messing round with chalk on the patio and in better weather, writing/drawing with water and trying to finish something before the sun dried it up.

I think this was my son's thing. He could type out a sentence but would refuse to write the same one because it didn't look like he wanted it to. Same with his pictures. We just left lots of mark making stuff around, and let him lead the way.

Ds was writing the alphabet on our walls by that age 🤦‍♀️ but was incredibly resistant to drawing. If I got the pens out, I found myself doing the drawing and him taking more of a managerial role. Fast forward to 7 and he's incredibly neat at colouring in and takes more of an interest in drawing. Dd was more orientated to drawing than writing but now does both. Both were late speakers though and not very conversant by 3. I think kids are all different with their own preferences and develop at their own pace. I've never pushed. I don't think you have any great cause for concern.

I would be, and would be seeking advice, but only because it's an indicator of how he finds fine motor skills in general.

My grandchild was like this but is a keen drawer now they feel they can do it. Lots of Lego building seems to have improved fine motor skills

Can he demonstrate age-appropriate levels of fine motor control in other ways? If so, nothing to worry about.

If it’s across the board, then it would benefit him if you found activities he liked that would develop those skills (plenty of games would do this - as would threading beads, making things, sewing etc)

Some dc just aren't all that bothered by mark making. Both my dts couldn't write their names when they turned 4.
They're both clever in their own way now (at 14) one of them still struggles to cut in a straight line with scissors- a target he never quite met in foundation stage.
I wouldn't say handwriting is either of their strong points but they mostly type their course work and assignments.
Its fine, their targets like that are going to be spikey depending on their nature and their interests.

All the activities others mentioned sre really helpful, anything that promotes that pincer grip.
Threading, lego and pegging are all great.

I really wouldn't worry too much. My July born son couldn't write letters or his name when he went to school at 4. It turned out however he was dyslexic but it was picked up quickly and he's gone from strength to strength. He's at University now so no issues.

He also couldn't draw at all which was exacerbated by the fact his elder brother couldn't draw at and went on to become a professional artist. He still can't really draw and hasn't an artistic bone in his body but it certainly hasn't held him back and wasn't indicative of anything deeper.

All I would say is watch out for signs of dyslexia and address it sooner rather than later if it becomes apparent but usually they won't identify an issue until they are 7.

could draw not couldn't draw re his brother obviously.

You don’t need to worry about him writing before he goes to school. Often children are not taught the way they should be when forming the letters etc so it’s actually less confusing for them to wait until they start. My ds started reception in September and could not write one letter and could barely draw a smiley face. Roll on a few weeks and he wrote his name inside all his Christmas cards and his drawing has really improved.
Just get him to have fun when mark making and drawing and take the pressure off. It has to be fun otherwise he won’t want to do it but that’s fine too. Let him do it at his own pace. Next September is a long way away and you’ll be surprised how much he will have come on by then.

@hecantwriteyet my ds has just turned 5 and started reception in September. He's a curious, bright kid with a brilliant memory but he wasn't bothered about drawing/writing/colouring at all before school. He could explain the process of decomposition at 3 (he'd learnt it from a book we had that he loved) but at 4.5 couldn't write his name and would barely scribble on a page to draw.

We never worried. We read to him every day, he adores books and always has. Loves being outside, going places, imaginary play, cooking etc.

He can now write his name, plus other words, draw pictures that genuinely look like things with thought and enthusiasm and recognise his phonics and some "tricky words". School are very pleased with his progress. We do loads at home with him as always, except now we capitalise on his newfound enthusiasm with games like "office" "museum" and "school" where he "teaches" us words, numbers, facts, draws art for the exhibitions etc.

They get there in their own time!

It's all about encouraging mark making at this age. Different tools different paper. Have fun

Can be perfectly developmentally appropriate. My DS was the same, he has two older sisters who were much keener to draw and write but I figured just boys/not interested.

Turns out he was blind - so long sighted he couldn’t even see the page. Unfortunately for him it was missed on the nursery screening and not picked up until he was 7. However in the 6 months since his writing and reading has taken off.

So maybe worth checking he can see ok.