Told my friend to drop him

[ThePerkyCoralPoet]

She uses the dating apps. She’s lovely and deserves a good man. I told her none of them are from there. If they are there in small numbers. She wanted to go on a date with this one guy.
She was previously larger. Now, she’s into running and yoga and Pilates. She’s worked really hard and is now approx 50 something kg. Was once around 80 something.

Apparently he was large too. He said to her “I need to see your before pictures at some point. I promise I’ll do my best not to laugh”

She looks pretty good now and worked very hard. I really admire her. I said he sounds like an idiot and that comment would just PMO. But I’m a one stroke and you’re out kind of woman.

She is like a little sister to me though and I’m a bit too protective. She’s 27 im 29.

Thoughts?

OP I agree with you, he sounds immature. "I promise not to laugh" Wtf.

I also agree that the dating pool is a cesspool and it's hard to find someone without red flags. Just be there for your friend and make sure she's being wary.

It totally depends on what’s been said between them with regards to their weight loss journey.
As long as she didn’t take it to be offensive then I don’t see a problem.

"Told my friend to drop him"

You realise your friend is an adult? You don't sound protective. You sound over-bearing and over-involved. Back off.

Yes the bloke sounds like a dick, but why do you think you're entitled to tell her what she should and shouldn't be doing?

I don't think his comment was that bad. Probably just joking about. Remember, men view weight differently to women and are not so emotional about it.

I think you should have put the actual quote in your OP. The added sentence makes a difference. It sounds more as if he knows people may laugh or may have laughed at his before and after photos so he knows what it’s like or that she might be reluctant to share them.

Also I know loads of couples who have met online dating so I wouldn’t tell her to come off them.

She uses the dating apps. She’s lovely and deserves a good man. I told her none of them are from there.

Did you have any suggestions for where she can find a good man, then? A relative of mine is a similar age, single, and feeling very down about it. Other family members tell her the apps are no good (without any experience of them themselves, and without her having tried to meet anyone from them yet) and she deserves better. That is all well and good in principle - I get that they and you are just looking out for your loved one - but these days they really do seem to be the main way to meet people. It is really hard if you completely rule them out.

Yeah, you're being way too black and white. Plenty of decent guys on online dating. And sounds like he's aware that he can't actually laugh and doesn't intend to. You've missed all of the subtlety in this.

It is?
50kg = 7st 12 and 59kg = 9st 4
I'm 5'3 and have always been between those weights as an adult.

I agree with others that other people's "banter" out of context is difficult to assess.

Wow! Does your husband also treat you like shit? And are you okay with that?

You must not have any (good) friends if they would not say anything if they see you acting like a doormat.

If she likes him (and he likes her) and he generally seems to be a decent bloke, all she should have said was ‘only if I can see your fat pics too !’

No drama.

What was her response to this? Maybe they just banter between them selves? Maybe a bit tasteless though. What if she puts weight back on? Would he laugh at her then? It's hard without knowing the context. Also I get that she may not of been comfortable at that weight, but honestly I don't think being 12 stone gives a reason to be mocked. It's hardly 30 stone is it.

"I promise I'll do my best not to laugh" so basically he's saying it will be hard not to laugh at her being fat but he'll do his best.

Yeah that comment would put me right off as well. Red flag