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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be shocked that my mum has a secret boyfriend?

40 replies

SillyOchreSheep · 25/12/2024 21:20

I found out today that my mum has had a secret boyfriend for 6 months. I’m a student at the moment and live with my mum who has been single for 10 years.

Ofc she’s within her right to do whatever she wants and I’m happy for her but I’m also slightly confused as to why she’s not told me a thing.

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 25/12/2024 23:51

2025hello · 25/12/2024 23:14

Is her name Gwen?

Ah beat me to it!

Cranberryjaffacakes · 25/12/2024 23:51

Was her previous relationship with your father? Maybe she’s worried you’ll be upset that she’s moved on.

Maybe she’s just interested in him for a good time, not a long time and didn’t want him become a real part of her life by discussing him with you.

Sometimeswinning · 25/12/2024 23:52

Just checked back and it seems a lot of people beat me to it!!

Ponoka7 · 25/12/2024 23:53

I didn't want to announce to my children that I was seeing someone, until I knew that it was going somewhere, as said. Dating when you are older is completely different to when you are your age.

Stichintime · 25/12/2024 23:54

Who I shag is my business. It's my husband, the kids dad, but I still feel a bit shy about them knowing!

Owly11 · 25/12/2024 23:59

I think it's nice of her not to parade an endless stream of deadbeat boyfriends through the house, making you meet them and/or hear all about them. It's much more respectful and kinder to wait until she finds one that will last before introducing you to him. I am curious as to why you think she didn't tell you?

IrisM22 · 26/12/2024 00:07

Dave Coaches?

cheesychipsontheoche · 26/12/2024 00:10

How does your uncle feel about it all?

Sorry OP if you're genuine. Maybe have a conversation with her about why she hasn't told you. If you can reassure her you just want her to be happy she may open up to you more

SabreIsMyFave · 26/12/2024 00:12

2025hello · 25/12/2024 23:14

Is her name Gwen?

The OP's mum's boyfriend is Dave Coaches! 😆

Edited! Someone already said this dammit! Grin

QueSyrahSyrah · 26/12/2024 00:21

Read comments to see if the OP's Mum is Gwen. Was not disappointed 👏🏻

Hereforthekicks · 26/12/2024 00:24

Daves a cracking bloke

IrisM22 · 26/12/2024 09:32

Hereforthekicks · 26/12/2024 00:24

Daves a cracking bloke

But he's riddled.

Original poster
SillyOchreSheep · 26/12/2024 11:14

Owly11 · 25/12/2024 23:59

I think it's nice of her not to parade an endless stream of deadbeat boyfriends through the house, making you meet them and/or hear all about them. It's much more respectful and kinder to wait until she finds one that will last before introducing you to him. I am curious as to why you think she didn't tell you?

Yeah I get that. She has a habit of being secretive tho. She didn’t tell me who my dad was until I was 16 and asked her. I didn’t know a thing about him apart from his name.

OP posts:
Original poster
SillyOchreSheep · 26/12/2024 11:15

Cranberryjaffacakes · 25/12/2024 23:51

Was her previous relationship with your father? Maybe she’s worried you’ll be upset that she’s moved on.

Maybe she’s just interested in him for a good time, not a long time and didn’t want him become a real part of her life by discussing him with you.

Her previous relationship wasn’t with my father, it was with another guy who she was with for 7 years.

OP posts:
Owly11 · 26/12/2024 11:33

SillyOchreSheep · 26/12/2024 11:14

Yeah I get that. She has a habit of being secretive tho. She didn’t tell me who my dad was until I was 16 and asked her. I didn’t know a thing about him apart from his name.

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Ah that makes more sense of why this is upsetting. That’s not ok. Would you consider talking with her and letting her know how you feel?

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