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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Last minute weigh in from DH irritating as hell

36 replies

Poodleville · 25/12/2024 17:09

Spent Xmas eve with DH's family, they are from the continent and it's the main celebration day for them. His mum usually packs us up with an excessive amount of leftovers.

I told DH that's fine but that I wanted our main meal today, xmas day, to not be leftovers (plus more traditional to my upbringing, when we ate his families traditional meal yesterday). I shared my Christmas meal menu plan with DH a good week ago I e. gave the opportunity to weigh in then. He also does the food shop so knew what we would and would not be having.

This afternoon he asks what we've having, says it sounds boring, because there is no meat. I had told him I was planning to cook a vegetarian roast (nut roast plus trimmings) because we'll have had so much meat the day before and sent home with us, plus we eat vegetarian food all the time so not unusual for us.

Feeling really pissed off and demotivated to cook now. I will do it for myself, to have the meal I want, but wtf.

Is it me or is his attitude rude and entitled (YANBU)?
Or am I missing something here?! (YABU)

OP posts:
Newuser75 · 25/12/2024 19:55

Oh I love a nut roast!
Glad all is sorted now. Maybe he was just feeling grumpy about something who knows.
Hope you enjoy your meal!

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 25/12/2024 20:07

phoenixrosehere · 25/12/2024 17:37

If you do the food shop too and knew, wouldn’t you simply pick up something else then instead of complain?

I'd expect my spouse to know what I'd like, as I would know what he'd like.

amoreoamicizia · 25/12/2024 20:22

What is it with people (not just men) and their thoughtless comments around food at Christmas? I also don't get the "eating the largest meal at midday" thing at all and my Christian family never do/did it. It's frankly bizarre.

SporadicMincePieMuncher · 25/12/2024 20:29

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 25/12/2024 17:34

To be fair, I'd be disappointed with a nut roast at Christmas.

In that case I hope you would have voiced it a week ago when your partner told you what they were planning on cooking.

There's a lot of leftover meat in their fridge, he could have some of that with it

stargazerlil · 25/12/2024 20:30

Perhaps he was just hangry when he said that,

SporadicMincePieMuncher · 25/12/2024 20:32

amoreoamicizia · 25/12/2024 20:22

What is it with people (not just men) and their thoughtless comments around food at Christmas? I also don't get the "eating the largest meal at midday" thing at all and my Christian family never do/did it. It's frankly bizarre.

In what way don't you get it?

Metabolically it's smarter eat the bigger meal in the middle of the day, it gives you a chance to actually use the food for fuel in the most active part of the day - which is why it was more common historically to have the bigger meal in there middle of the day and still is common in some cultures.

(I'm not saying metabolic fuel is the reason why anybody has their Christmas meal at mid day!)

nationalsausagefund · 25/12/2024 20:36

(I'm not saying metabolic fuel is the reason why anybody has their Christmas meal at mid day!)
In our house, it’s at midday because we’re on the toddler meal schedule. He’s his own metabolic fuel!

OP, DP would make a comment like this and not mean it or get that it’s unhelpful on the day itself; he can’t future-think so even if I said a week in advance “it’s nut roast” it’s beyond him to cross that bridge til he gets to it. Glad you’ve cleared the air and hope you have a good dinner, even if you did something massively weird like cook nice food just for two people! Clearly you’re meant to just eat Pot Noodle in silence.

phoenixrosehere · 25/12/2024 22:17

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 25/12/2024 20:07

I'd expect my spouse to know what I'd like, as I would know what he'd like.

Yet, he hadn’t said anything whether he liked it or not in the entire week so was OP meant to be a mind reader and assume no when he was more than capable of saying something or getting something himself since they both shop.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 26/12/2024 05:53

SporadicMincePieMuncher · 25/12/2024 20:29

In that case I hope you would have voiced it a week ago when your partner told you what they were planning on cooking.

There's a lot of leftover meat in their fridge, he could have some of that with it

Still doesn't negate cooking something he doesn't want.

GeorgeMichaelsCat · 26/12/2024 05:53

phoenixrosehere · 25/12/2024 22:17

Yet, he hadn’t said anything whether he liked it or not in the entire week so was OP meant to be a mind reader and assume no when he was more than capable of saying something or getting something himself since they both shop.

Maybe he thought it was obvious.

Teacherprebaby · 26/12/2024 06:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

It's a nut roast....max 40 minutes....

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