To be a bit peed off?

[PutUpShutUp]

Nc for this one.

For context, Im a lone parent to a 4y and 5m old. I have no support or childcare options, which isn't really an issue usually.

A month ago, my grandad asked me to go out to our local pub for boxing day to play a domino handicap for a couple of hours. We begrudgingly asked my mum to watch DC for 3 hours max so I could go (I obviously will reimburse her for her time). She agreed and so me and my grandad put our names down and paid the necessary subs to play.

About an hour ago my mum has just informed me that she no longer knows if she can watch DC because her friend is now putting a food buffet on which she wants to go to. She will let me know in the morning, once she's arranged times with her friend, if she can have the DC and how long for but she now will only likely be able to have them for half an hour because of these other arrangements.

AIBU to be peed off with this?

Just I had arranged this with her first, a whole month a go and have checked in several times since to make sure that's okay. I will only be out from 11.45am until 3pm and will not be drinking but otherwise spending time with my grandad doing something we usually enjoy. I've not had a break from the DC in over 4 years, had to manage a csection recovery, a close bereavement, DC & work all on my own for years and now the opportunity for a few hours with my DGD is being took away because my mum now wants to go drink and eat food with a friend she sees every single day.

Yes my grandad can and would come over but it's likely he will still be going out to the pub for domino handicap. After all there's no point us both losing out the money we've already had to pay for it.

Sorry your mum is a bitch. Maybe a New Year’s resolution to expand your circle so you’ve other options?

Very mean of your mum. You clearly can’t rely on her but could you make a big effort to sort out occasional childcare in future?

Would it be possible to have your 5 month old in a sling and take them with you? Let your 4 year old watch a tablet for a few hours?

Not ideal, I know, but as a one off might be ok.

And yes, your mum sounds awful.

@devongirl12 I can't take them with me, I already asked before asking my mum. They've got a flat out no kids rules. But even if that rule wasn't in place, it's boxing day, so it's likely going to be busy and paired with being distracted by a game I wouldn't want to unintentionally place DC at any risk.

My mum has been sending me passive aggressive messages for the past hour, saying she's offered and gave me plenty options it's my fault now that I'm being difficult and saying no. So i just sent back an blunt reply saying "I had asked you about this week's ago, and hadn't expected to be pushed aside to fit in to other people's plans or alternatively have to send my (DC) to a party house. It's honestly not an issue, but it's not like I have any option for help or a break, but never mind. Enjoy your day". She's now muted and I'm going to get on with my day.

Awful behaviour from your mum but this is life as a single parent, very very hard.
Bullet proof your contraception going forward OP.
It's tok hard doing it on your own especially when the men are losers.

Honestly in general i don't mind the lone parent life. I don't regret anything nor would I change it. I just get on with it and I manage usually. After all, I chose my life and I chose my kids.

Its just the fact of having a few hours break, to socialise and feel like more than a mum, dangled on a string for weeks then having that took away for selfish reasons is what has upset me.

Dreadful woman. Really.

I can never understand parents like your mum.
Whilst there is absolutely no way Inwould entertain full time childminding, I would love to be able to give my children a break and a bit of free night time babysitting.
It means so much to those that receive it.