Christmas with sulky teen?

[fleeceypjs]

Anyone else?

Day started well, presents and breakfast but now they've grunted through dinner and disappeared to their room!

Just sent mine upstairs because she was being grumpy. I'm equally as grumpy but I've learnt to hide it better I guess.

My two (almost 20 and almost 17) have been unusually present and cheerful all day. It’s been nice. But there have definitely been been years when they were a bit younger than they’d slouch off to their rooms.

DS has been fairly engaged during the main parts of the day (breakfast and lunch) but has hidden in his room in between.

He was a bit appalled to learn he was expected to wear actual clothes to lunch, having arrived downstairs in his oodie and pants, but quickly recovered from the annoyance

I’m fairly sure I also spent much of Christmas in my room at that age, if anything its been lovely and peaceful for me today

I really struggle with this at the moment and honestly don’t know what the best approach is. On the one hand I think it’s important to participate a bit but I think forcing teens to be around for the sake of it is counterproductive.

My parents were quite Victorian and expected us to be permanently “on” and around and it made me really resentful.

On the other hand it does make me sad that my teen wants to get away from us all the time. I don’t know what the answer is. Watching with interest.

When I say quiet I suppose I mean sullen. Also, I’m not saying that the way my parents did it was right, lots of comments i see in general about teen behaviour just seems so different to how I was raised.

Teenage hormones, you’ve got to let them off the hook.

We had a lovely family day on Xmas eve with buffet and games ages 6 to 75. Today DD2&DS2 spent middle of day at Dad's and then came back for meal and drinks with DD1. And DS1 andsister came for a couple of hours. There's no pressure on any one, eat don't eat , visit don't visit, I really don't mind. Everyone is always engaged and pleasant, as they are doing what they want.
I understand others wanting to have the "perfect day" but in my experience that leads to disappointment. Hope everyone has eat least parts of their day.

My two are 11 and 13, they’ve been perfectly pleasant during presents, breakfast and dinner. Otherwise they’ve been pooping back and forth between their rooms and the kitchen/living room. I think it’s fair enough not to be around their parents all day - they want to talk to their friends and game etc.

I sympathize, had a really hard couple of days with my teen recently who got very emotional and upset out of the blue and wouldn't communicate at all. Thankfully today was fine though, it can be so hard! Especially when you're running on empty yourself. I never used to feel like a crap parent before but these days I'm out of my depth! apparently this is normal and we just have to hang on in there for a few more years until they come out the other side. Sending hugs.

Par for the course. I remember being a teenager with all that angst and raging hormones. He has my sympathies. If he made a gesture - gift/card, whatever - to acknowledge you and show a glimmer of appreciation I'd leave it at that. If he didn't though, I would pull him up on that.