To be feeling a bit flat about it

Sounderwhelmed · 2024-12-25T07:41:11+00:00

Four year old just isn’t … excited, particularly. He will enjoy opening the presents I’m sure but there isn’t anything specific he wanted and it’s just a couple of truck things that are near enough identical to what he already has. Plus his birthday was a few days before so a lot of that excitement has gone. Other child is too young to know what’s going on. But I feel pressured which is stupid I know. I feel like I should have two super excited children and it should be really special for them but it isn’t.

DustyLee123 · 25/12/2024 07:42

As long as your children are happy, that’s what matters.

Bongbongbing · 25/12/2024 07:43

Hey OP, I feel exactly the same. Our dc is autistic (mostly non verbal) and the same age and has no concept really of Xmas. The whole day will have to be carefully ran as to not set him off or upset him. He barely eats so even if we can get him sat at the table it’s unlikely we’ll be able to eat together.

I love him to pieces but having Christmas with children isn’t what I imagined, just sending solidarity to you and hope as the years go by the magic will start to be felt a bit more.

merry Christmas 🎄 x

Bongbongbing · 25/12/2024 07:45

Also, the special thing is that you’re all together. I’m presuming you’re safe, warm, happy and will be well fed today. Your children are already so lucky to have you and all of that. That’s what I’m trying to focus on today too 🙏 some children run around screaming with excitement and others show it differently, the main thing is they know we tried and we know they’re happy x

GreenCritic · 25/12/2024 07:46

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theallotmentqueen · 25/12/2024 08:03

Honestly maybe it’s a good thing that he isn’t sick with excitement. When me and and my sister were younger my mum deliberately didn’t hype up chrismas to us, as we’d get so excited and then inevitably be disappointed on the day. Whereas if it was low key we would have a lovely day and just really enjoy it.

Original poster

Sounderwhelmed · 25/12/2024 08:04

Bongbongbing · 25/12/2024 07:43

Hey OP, I feel exactly the same. Our dc is autistic (mostly non verbal) and the same age and has no concept really of Xmas. The whole day will have to be carefully ran as to not set him off or upset him. He barely eats so even if we can get him sat at the table it’s unlikely we’ll be able to eat together.

I love him to pieces but having Christmas with children isn’t what I imagined, just sending solidarity to you and hope as the years go by the magic will start to be felt a bit more.

merry Christmas 🎄 x

I can completely understand that

I hope you have a wonderful day somehow. Thanks for sharing.

@GreenCritic theres no pressure on him at all. I do have to remind myself things have changed since I was a child and it was all super exciting, whereas now it’s not so much!

OP posts:

Original poster

Sounderwhelmed · 25/12/2024 08:04

theallotmentqueen · 25/12/2024 08:03

Honestly maybe it’s a good thing that he isn’t sick with excitement. When me and and my sister were younger my mum deliberately didn’t hype up chrismas to us, as we’d get so excited and then inevitably be disappointed on the day. Whereas if it was low key we would have a lovely day and just really enjoy it.

I have similar memories! And wondering if I’ve gone too far the other way!

OP posts:

Bongbongbing · 25/12/2024 08:06

theallotmentqueen · 25/12/2024 08:03

Honestly maybe it’s a good thing that he isn’t sick with excitement. When me and and my sister were younger my mum deliberately didn’t hype up chrismas to us, as we’d get so excited and then inevitably be disappointed on the day. Whereas if it was low key we would have a lovely day and just really enjoy it.

this is true, I think also back in the 80’s / 90’s it was way less pressure and less ‘fantastical’, I also don’t remember all these ‘experiences’ and over the top things and days out etc. maybe cos we were poor ha! But the pressure now is insane, and Christmas starts in September really in the shops etc.

i bet your children will have a brilliant day whatever they want to do, whether that’s just chill with mum and watch some telly or whether it’s being crazy excited and hyper

i think we all put so much pressure on it because inevitably as a parent you always strive to do ‘better’ than what you had (even if what you had was great)

I blame social media for a lot of this x

TwinkleLights24 · 25/12/2024 08:08

My teen told me she feels overwhelmed and pressured to feel excited by Christmas as her friends and family asked her if she is excited 100x on Christmas Eve. She said she is and she does enjoy it but can’t physically show it the way some do.

CandiedPrincess · 25/12/2024 08:10

My four year old is phenomenally difficult today. It's such hard work and frustrating and disappointing when you've put so much effort in but I keep reminding myself he's overwhelmed and overstimulated but if I hear "I want more presents" or "this is boring" again I am going to drown myself if a vat of goose fat and it's not even 8.30am yet.

101Nutella · 25/12/2024 08:46

its The outside noise and pressure messing everything up for us. Social media gives us insight we never had before. And you see a few different houses/Christmas set ups but don’t forget none of them have it all.

maybe sit with this feeling to see if you can find the source of sadness and then weave that missing magic in next year. For me, a carol concert is what I love to get in the Christmas mood, Christmas jumper wearing and Buck’s Fizz for breakfast with Christmas songs. Everything else is noise. So as long as I do those traditions it feels like Christmas.

we’re approaching it low key coz I don’t want Christmas to be all about consumerism excitement. It’s a time to pause, have a lovely meal and spend some time with yourself or someone you love. Plus a bit of church for us. Job done. Christmas walk to make room for some mince pies .

merry Christmas to you. I hope you have a happy 2025.