To feel like DD no longer likes me

[Sleevestrees]

DD is 2.5 and she was a mummy’s girl mainly, the last few weeks it’s like a switch has gone off and she only wants DH. Don’t get me wrong, it’s lovely she’s so close to her dad but now I feel completely pushed to the side. We went out earlier for Christmas Eve, and she would only speak to him, not include me in any play, said she only wanted daddy. If she wakes up in the night she normally wants me but she woke up an hour ago and she did not want me, screamed she wanted daddy only and it’s hurt so much. I’m normally always the person she wants at night.

I do mostly everything, and she doesn’t even want to come near me. I don’t know what’s changed. I’m so upset, what if she never wants mummy again? DH is very good and if she goes to hug him he always tells her to hug me too, so he’s not discouraging her, he’s aware that she just doesn’t come to me anymore.

Sorry if this sounds dramatic but being pushed away is hurting me so much :( I sorted all her presents for the morning and she probably won’t care either. Feel so down.

She is becoming aware that there is more to her world than mummy.

That’s all. Keeping loving her and she will learn that she can love mummy and daddy together.

She's old enough now to go exploring outside the bond to you - and that includes investigating her bond to her father.
You're establishing a new mother-daughter relationship. This will happen a lot during childhood. It's completely normal.

It can feel brutal sometimes but it’s completely normal. Mine was a mummy’s girl until 2.5 and now at 3 it 80% all about DH. The odd day she will suddenly just want me again and I make the most of all the cuddles.
For us it coincided with the arrival of our second baby, but she is a great big sister and hasn’t seemed to have much jealousy yet. But I’m glad she is close with her dad because it would be such a struggle if she still only settled for me.

It does feel brutal atm. Almost like it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t here. I’ll just carry on.

She’s just a toddler - it’s not personal. When my 3 yr old favours her dad I enjoy it a little bit as it means I normally have a bit more time to myself. Which is short lived as I have an 18month old mummy’s boy

Your turn will come again. Just keep doing what you and your dh are doing: being consistent, reliable, loving, and safe. This is not a competition.

For what its worth also focus on your relationship with your dh. The greatest gift we can give our children is modeling a close, united, loving, adult relationship for them. They feel safe k owing we are united in our love. My two daughters adore me and their father, equally now (though they certainly had their toddler preferences) and one of the things they have told me they treasure the most is going to sleep hearing us laughing and talking in the next room.

Thank you this is a great point.

My 5 year old really doesn't like me at all currently - my 3 year old is an absolute Mama's boy. Both are equally hard 😂
I do find it changes on a whim sometimes without you even realising.

It does feel so brutal but she's only doing it because she's a billion percent certain you'll always be there for her because you're such a loving and dependable mummy to her. Which is really touching.

But doesn't feel like it right now, I'm sure, the way it's expressed by her, but it is healthy😊.

It's a completely normal, healthy developmental stage. Don't take it personally.

I second this!! You've made her feel so incredibly certain youre always going to be there so shes now nurturing her relationship with daddy because she has mummy forever anyway.