AIBU For not spending Christmas with my future in-laws
I 27(F) have told my fiancé 30(m) that I need distance from his family especially this Christmas
I just want to start by saying I’m 33 weeks pregnant and I feel uncomfortable around my SIL and her daughter because of their expectations they have and comments they have made and I have had a argument with my FIL
SIL has told me they have purchased a cot for my baby for when he sleeps over and they have built a nursery for him which i never agreed too
SIL wants baby to stay over the first weekend he’s born (obviously said no)
SIL made comments that when baby comes to her house she’s going to change him into the clothes she has for him (like dress up)
SIL daughter has told me to “shut up talking to her like that in front of her family” when she was talking about her coil and I got involved in the conversation but I had to let it slide because she was “in a mood”
MIL has made comments that she can’t wait to “kiss the baby” when I’ve told her that we won’t be doing that
me and my fiancée have just purchased our first family home which has not been touched in 75 years, FIL was helping with the project (which I was very grateful for)
My father who is a very knowledgeable person told me and my finance that he does not trust the electrics (we called a electrician) who come and told us under no circumstances should we touch the electrics/wiring and they will be coming out to rewire and fix old electrics
I just want to say this house needs knocking back to brick, plastering, new floors (the whole works)
So my FIL asked if I wanted lights inside my wardrobe as he has this in his own home, my words were ‘oh that’s bougie, yes’
The next day I finished work and went to the house to see how we were doing, his dad was ripping up floor boards and had wires exposed and he had marked out where he was going to fit the plug sockets
He pointed to where we are waiting for fitting company to come and make us a wardrobe and take measurements and FIL said “do you want the plug there”
I hesitated obviously confused and said “well we are waiting for a company to come out and take measurements?”
He give me a deadpan look and I was like “ermmm if I want lights I’ll just ask my dad to wire them over to the next Available plug” he marked out where he was going to plug in 8 sockets all together!!!!!
I though my fiancée would have had this chat about how we ain't suppose to touch the electrics but nope, my FIL stood up and said “right I’m off” and stomped downstairs, I looked at my fiancée confused then my FIL come back so I said “sorry (his name) I don’t mean to offend you but”
He then said “I’m fucking off, if you want anything doing get your fucking dad to do it” and then he left
I was going to explain why I didn’t want him touching the electrics but obviously didn’t get a chance
He come back the next day and took all his tools back (that we were using) and he has zero use for
SIL daughter told me “not to expect a apology” when she called me asking about Christmas
Fiancé went to the pub with FIL and said he was no longer in a mood and just didn’t want to help? But we never asked for his help he volunteered!!
Now their oven has stopped working and my FIL went to the house and took our old oven! I don’t mind but FIL or fiancé didn’t ask me (plus the door on the oven is broken)
I’m picking my fiancée up tomorrow for Christmas (from his house) and I don’t want to go inside or see his family in all honesty, I do have gifts but I just want him to give them to his family
I am planning on putting a lot of boundaries in place slowly and without my fiancé noticing as I don’t want to see these people or have much interaction or involvement with them
What do I do tomorrow when Im outside his house and what do I say to them if they try confronting me
What do I do in the future?, my fiancé works 6 days a week so I know it’s me that has to make the effort for them too see the baby which I can control or say no to them coming over to the property all the time as I’ll be busy and only allow them over when fiancée is there
But I just don’t know how to create space really