To be resentful towards him?

[Marni11]

I live with my partner and my child, not his.
He’s older than me with adult children in their 30s . Neither of them are responsible and really only get in touch with him when they want something.
Today we had arranged to go around and drop off presents, and like last year it was I’m not in… come at this time… no come now etc.
He was annoyed with this and because one of them wanted to borrow money.
We’ve then come home and he’s not spoke to me because this is what he does takes it out on me.
Hes fell asleep and my child asked him to help her put the carrot etc out for Father Christmas. He said no, and went back to sleep.
ive put her to bed, he’s come upstairs and I said she was upset.
hes then started shouting, woke her up, said she didn’t try hard enough to wake him up. And is now accusing me of wanting an argument all day.
I’m sat with her now trying to get her to sleep . Have I been unreasonable?

Why on earth are you with this awful man?
Put your DD first and dump him

I'm sorry you've had this kind of day, especially tonight.
Be there for your daughter and yourself.
I hope everyone has a good nights sleep and you can have a lovely day tomorrow.

It's perfectly acceptable to feel how you are about this.

Whatever your thoughts of this man/relationship, your primary concern and thinking must be that you are a proper advocate for your child. It sounds like he's the one poking for an argument, when he knows you're vulnerable because the child is sleeping and he wants to disrupt. Don't rise to his pokes, don't be tempted to engage, it will gain or solve nothing, he sounds like a bullish prick. Taking his frustration out on you because his kids treat him like an ATM then being nasty to a child on Xmas eve. Prize prick.

I can't really tell if you've been "looking for an argument" all day or not; do you see why he'd say that, or is it out of the blue?

Regardless, he should absolutely not be yelling at a (fairly young, I assume) child and waking her up. He can treat her as normal, then tell you he's upset in private. If you think there's any danger to her or to you, please leave, or if possible ask him to leave.

This part We’ve then come home and he’s not spoke to me because this is what he does takes it out on me sounds like it could be emotional abuse, although again it's hard to say without more context. If he's saying "I don't want to talk right now" or "I'm tired; I'm going to bed", fine. If he's punishing you for his own bad day (whether or not you had any part in it) by giving you the silent treatment, that's a problem, especially as it sounds like a pattern.

Why's he pandering to his fully grown adult offspring? YANBU.

He’s texting me trying to goad me , how I’ve never spoke to him tonight and I’ve been spoiling for a fight.
I’ve gone out and bought last minute things for his grandchildren, wrapped them, not that I’ll get any thanks.
Something similar happened last year with his kids and I got the brunt of it. He makes himself out to be the victim .
I just want to cry but can’t because of my child.

OP what do you get out of this relationship? I’d make this your last Christmas that he can ruin. Why let him treat you or your innocent child this way??

Jesus you must be absolutely desperate

I don’t like his adult children, they take drugs, always hound him for money ,they’re not people I would chose to be friends with put it that way. And I did say to him the other week I want to be home on Xmas eve at a decent time for my child not like last year.
so maybe when they started with the rearranging my face said it all?

He just didn’t speak at all to me, I offered him a cuppa no reply.

I think it's for the best to separate.