To be done with the bitchy comments?!

[happygrinchmass]

For some reason my friend makes a big deal out of me being single (I absolutely don’t).

She made a comment last year about how she didn’t decorate for Christmas when she was single and living on her own. Which made me feel a bit shit as someone who is single and lives alone.

We met up for dinner last night with another friend and there’s was a beautiful Christmas tree and I just commented that I hadn’t put a tree up this year (because I donated my other one and then I forgot to buy a new one) and she exclaimed with gasp and a sympathetic head tilt “you didn’t put a Christmas tree up?!”

Like I can’t win. I’m sad and pathetic whatever I do apparently.

Well you had a golden opportunity there to say last year you said why bother so this year I didn’t bother. Which would you prefer, as it seems neither of them meet with your approval?

I agree she doesn’t sound very nice - well done on avoiding her since March

Really difficult to read tone at times on here - but your tone really wasn't coming over as sympathetic. The tone was very snarky. Saying ' sorry' in that way is also incredibly galling. People might as well just say get fucked.

In case it wasn't apparent, I'm just highlighting this rather than trying to be nasty to you.

@Jumell ah thanks. Can you tell I've lived it!! 🤷‍♀️😆

This is such great advice - thank you. You really nailed it in the last paragraph. You literally said exactly how I feel if I were as eloquent as you.

I’m trying to make big changes in 2025, I’ve already started and lost a stone and had the highest clear out of my clothes. If I found a partner that would be great but it’s out of my control (to a certain extent) and I’m ok with that. I think because we’re the same age, likely have a similar salary and same size house, she really does see having a partner as something superior that I don’t have.

Haha you’re welcome and - yes !!

Omg she’s said this to me too!

“Well I didn’t bother cooking when I was on my own”. Ok? Cool… I’ll just starve then. No Christmas tree and no dinner for all the single people.

Congrats on losing a stone OP !

it’s the first one that’s often the most difficult! 🎉🙌

Exactly OP - tbh I think these comments are designed to hurt I mean there’s NO WAY you could frame them in a good way

my wish in my situation is that I wish I’d actually declined all the invites to her house that I actually accepted when I was new at the job - I think there were 3 in total so not a huge amount.

I’ve learnt in life OP that it’s fine to be straight with people and decline invites even if your refusals are met with disapproval. I’ve found in life you must look after yourself first !!!!

If you're connected on SMedia, that's another layer of mental torment.

I don't engage with anyone at all on SM and it's my saviour. I am totally free from their crap self promotion. It's not easy if you're of the younger generation and easy for me in my 40s to say.

If you can somehow mute the pain in the arse if avoidance not possible then definitely consider it.

Great news on the weight loss. Don't share the details with her or anyone you don't trust. Work on the weight loss next year if you have a goal. Make complete self care, self focus the priority next year.

That's how you read it, but I literally just meant sorry. I'm not in the habit to telling people to get fucked, although have seen plenty of similar rudeness on here before. No subterfuge at all.

No one told you to “get fucked” - stop making this about you. Your post was patronising, as someone else has also pointed out.

I’m really not, I meant on Mumsnet before, not on this thread. You read it as patronising and I’ve been very clear it wasn’t meant that way. Stop taking your anger out on me.

Anger? 🙈😂.

No one on this thread is angry. You insinuated I was sad because I was “alone at Christmas”. That’s extremely patronising as I never once stated anything of the sort.