1 hour drive each way- we have a one month old. 8 adults in total including me and DH. Nobody else has kids, we are the next youngest after baby DC. One relative is also bringing along two chihuahuas known to be reactive and snappy- think baring their teeth to anyone who stands up to go to the toilet, simply because there’s been movement in the room. They wouldn’t put them in another room because their dogs are their babies and go literally everywhere with them. I don’t feel confident to ask as it’s been a point of contention before (it is not their house, they are guests, but the host is too timid and peace keeping to put in any sort of request like this). Going off previous years it usually involves a lot of alcohol and there is usually an argument. Two of them smoke quite heavily and usually go out tbf but again if they didn’t nobody would challenge it.
We feel kind of obligated to go because of the hosts who we really enjoy spending time with. They will be disappointed if we don’t go. They are the only relatives we see regularly, the others is usually once a year at Christmas or twice max not through lack of our own trying but they are not that interested generally.
We also want to be fair to both sides of the family, even though we are much (much) more comfortable and familiar with one than the other, not to mention one is on the doorstep so means not having to keep baby up too late or in the car seat for too long.
What to do? If it wasn’t Christmas we wouldn’t feel so torn!