MIL with a cold

[BastetBaby]

My 11 month old is just getting over a nasty cold. Lots of sleepless nights, temperatures, screaming cries and me fretting about whether we need to take baby to a&e.

No we are with my partner's family for Christmas and my MIL has a cold. (Didn't know this before we arrived.) My partner's family don't get to see my daughter very much because they live far away, so they naturally want to spend lots of time with their granddaughter. But my MIL (who said she's mostly over her cold) is coughing and sneezing all over the place.

I don't know how to politely say "can you keep your distance from my daughter?" Or "can you wash your hands before touching her - especially after you've just coughed into them!"

So far all I've tried is to say "I really hope she doesn't get another cold so soon after the last one..."

I'm trying not to express anything because I don't want to upset anyone - especially not my partner who was so looking forward to spending time with his folks. But inside I'm angry. And horribly anxious about my daughter getting another cold so soon after the last one!

Totally get it. My MIL gave us and 7 month old DD COVID last year and ruined our Xmas. I would ask DH to say something! Silly woman!

Urgh, I tried my best to keep distance and wash my daughter's hands regularly. My MIL kept her distance a bit, but not much, and then when we said goodbye she and my FIL who had also come down with the cold kissed her goodbye!

My partner was trying to hint at them not to do that, but they did anyway.

Just ...why?

Keep opening windows

I'm going to get bottled off the stage here but I think you sound very anxious. Unless there's some detail you've left out I am unsure as to why a cold would facilitate a trip to A&E.

Colds are part and parcel of life. You can't avoid them all.

If she doesn't practice basic hygiene like washing her hands after coughing or sneezing into them, you have to be pretty blunt.

Saying: "please wash your hands before touching DD since you have a cold" is not rude.

Oh, don't worry - you are speaking sense. And you're right, I'm incredibly anxious!

I think I just wanted to rant.

That and I really badly don't want baby to get another cold because it's so goddam miserable! Also I sort feel like this was WAS avoidable... I should have spoke up more...

It's not unreasonable to expect people to be careful. I would be furious too OP.

I can’t believe you stayed, OP. your selfish ILs will almost definitely have passed it onto her (especially given the kisses!) so your DD will have a whopper of a cold in about 9/10 days from now

Open the windows and ask her to sneeze into a hanky and definitely ask her to wash her hands before she touches baby. No one can possibly take offence at that it's a perfectly reasonable request. "Would you mind washing your hands before you touch baby?" "Oh yes of course". Any other reply would make her an arse.

I know. I feel terrible. I should have stood up for my DD more!

We're home now. I'm struggling to move on.

I don't think my ILs realised what a big deal another cold so soon after the last one would be for me, but I still feel hurt.

Should I ask my partner to say something if she does end up getting ill again? Ask for an apology? Or should I just forgive them and move on...(And get ready for some more sleepless nights...)?