Late Christmas presents

[squeakscream]

Have a (v wealthy and healthy) parent that never manages to get Christmas presents for us or the children until well into January - sometimes Feb. This is despite seeing them on either Xmas eve or Xmas day.

They accept the presents we've got them, the ones thoughtfully chosen wrapped by our kids (6,8 and 13) and and look embarrassed on the day, repeating to them 'I owe you a present!' over and over.

Then, sometime well into Jan or Feb, they'll pop round with something and say 'happy christmas!'.

I just wish they would either exchange gifts with us at the time or simply not bother at all. I don't see gifts as a transactional thing- it's about exchanging thoughtful items during the festive season.

It's the same with birthdays. Nothing on the day and then months of 'don't forget, I owe you a present'.

AIBU I'm thinking you either do it at the time or not at all.

I think I'd be saying something to them like "shall we just not do presents? Is there something easier we could do instead?".

Could you accept in February and keep it till next Christmas?

It's a bit slack but I think it's nice to know that they are not trying to get out of it. Just genuinely slack.😂

Do they have ADHD? Just asking as some members of my family have it and it's pretty routine to get presents months later.

Have you tried going Christmas shopping with them or giving them suggestions of what to buy?

Not as far as I know. Don't really want to go shopping with them! Might just tell them not to bother in future, guess you can't change people.

You definitely can't change people, you're right. If it bothers you I'd try and weigh up how much it does bother you compared to how much you don't want to go shopping with them?

Or maybe give them a call about a week before and ask them if they're all prepped and have done all of their Christmas shopping?

My exSIL was like this. Christmas presents usually appeared sometime in January and birthday presents 3-9 months after the date. The presents were always carefully chosen and they were often bought well before the event. It was just the way she was and it didn’t hurt anyone. It was quite nice having random gift days when you weren’t expecting anything.

That's how we looked n it too

We had a DAunt who often dod this. She was much adored and we just liked on it as a bonus gift on another day

It’s pure thoughtlessness/laziness. I mean it’s not like they don’t know it’s happening! I’m with you OP - if you can’t do it on the right day, then don’t bother frankly.

Especially Birthdays which is more personal. I mean I once got a 40th Birthday card 4 months later. I mean what’s the point in that - it’s not my bloody Birthday then!

It's fucking rude and who behaves like this with their I assume much lived grandchildren?

I miss my exSIL more than my ex husband! She gave better presents too.

I miss my exSIL more than my ex husband! She gave better presents too

I miss my DA too. She was much loved even if she did give my DSis her Christmas present in November one year

odd really as there is so much hype re Christmas you can hardly forget it! I think yes I would say no worries hardly worth all the hoo ha