Am I a single mum?

[Itgetsharder]

No AIBU, a quick one really but I’ve been separated a few years now and we have a 50:50 custody agreement with the DC. But I still find it hard to call myself a single mum. Am I? Or if it’s 50:50 is it different? I suppose I am, what do others in the same situation say?

You are a single mum who co-parents with a single dad. Assuming none of you have partners.
But it's all semantics, you call yourself what feels right to you.

To me if you are single and have children you are a single mum/dad

But not sure why a label is needed

I think you’re a single Mum but not a lone parent.

I'm the same, we don't quite do 50:50 and we are co-parenting well and will spend Christmas day etc together for DC benefit. I don't know how to label it. I know I'm no longer married and in a relationship though. I co-parent with ExH and we are friends but it is not married life. So yes feels like I am a single parent.

It doesn’t really matter what you label yourself, but I also ponder the same thing now my youngest has turned 18… am I still a single mum and why do I feel like this matters…

This. I think single mum makes sense - single parent or lone parent isn’t right as you are co-parenting, but single mum makes sense.

Yeah this definitely makes the most sense 🙌

You're a single parent. And a co-parent.
You are not a solo parent or lone parent.
It is semantics but it's important and you're not using the wrong term to describe yourself.

I’d say you’re a single mum. You’re a mum, and you’re single. Lots in your position seem to say they’re a lone parent. Now that is wrong. Lone parent would be someone like my friend whose daughter doesn’t have a dad at all and hasn’t since conception. Therefore friend does it all alone.

As a lone parent (been single since I was pregnant, Dd is now nearly 20 & has never met her father) I'd say you're a single mum who co-parents, and I'd appreciate you making the difference.
It's such a very different situation to be in - I have no experience of the endless difficulties of contact and negotiation with an ex which is a huge part of life for co-parents, but I do have the crushing weight of sole responsibility with no back up option, which is still there now she's an adult!

I call myself a single mum, as I do co-parent. When it comes to meeting the needs of the children, I often feel like a lone parent but ultimately I do have the other parent doing (some of) their part. My mother was a lone parent, didn’t see or speak to our dad throughout our childhood, didn’t get a penny. Though our grandparents did essentially raise us so I’m not sure how well the label applied to her either.

A single parent is usually someone who has their kids living with them full time without a live in partner/spouse.

I would say if you have to ask the question the answer is probably no. Sounds like you are a single mum, but that is different to being a solo mum. The label doesn't matter, it's not a competition. Both have different kind of challenges