To think people don’t actually want to be told if you’re being unreasonable?

[Coalplay]

Or do you just want someone to say yeah that sounds shit and be nice. I’m never quite sure on this topic.

No-one ever really wants to be told that they are, in fact, being unreasonable.
But I am hopeful that the ones who are told it, will at least pause and think?
(Even if they don't say so on MN)

AIBU wouldn't be very entertaining if people just accepted that they're unreasonable.

This!

People come onto AIBU so they can have their egos massaged and can brag 'well MN agrees with me!' ~ they disappear (or argue, then disappear) when they're told they are being unreasonable!

"no-one" that's a bit too sweeping.

I think some people genuinely want some clarity on an issue.
Most I think do just want to be validated in whatever decision they made.

It always baffles me when OPs on AIBU threads argue back and forth as to why they’re NBU. Why ask?!

Yes, I have asked a few times when I’m really not sure if I’ve done the right thing.
What I find is one of the (many) problems is they say “well you’re not a very nice friend if you behaves for quite normal way.”

Yes, I have asked a few times when I’m really not sure if I’ve done the right thing.
What I find is one of the (many) problems is they say “well you’re not a very nice friend if you behaves for quite normal way.”

Well, maybe your behaviour is problematic, and you’re unaware of it?

. I think it’s hard to explain retrospectively

“maybe you’re just not very nice friend if you won’t totally abandon your family for a week and travel to Costa Rica, “

that kind of thing

Because the OP needs to thrash it out so that they can change their mind. It would be unusual for one comment to change an OPs minds. If it's going back and forth then the OP is engaging with what's being said to them, so I actually think this is a sign that they are willing/trying to change their own mind set.

Many who ask and find that the majority think they are unreasonable, don't bother coming back after the first or second post. The thread however, can take on a life of its own even without further OP input!

We all think we are right at the time don’t we? Like the chat about the woman not liking her partner eating Xmas food. It’s normal in her family and upbringing so they simply don’t match on this one.