To be annoyed that my mum has broken the tumble dryer.

[TheUndoing]

I have a 4 month old baby so we are doing a lot of laundry at the moment!

My mum is staying for Chsitmas. She put on a load of laundry that included some baby clothes but also various bit and pieces of hers, including several bras. The dryer started making a god awful noise and it turns out there is a bra underwire stuck in the back.

Mum is claiming vociferously that it can’t have been her that’s broken it. I’ve not tried to blame her in the least and have cheerfully played along saying it must have been in there for ages. But AIBU to be privately pissed offf that she’s not at least apologised?

I know it’s not a blame game and I’d never expect her to pay or anything but I’m breastfeeding ffs none of my bras have had underwire for bloody months. It’s a huge faff with a baby right before Christmas and I’d feel much less hacked off if she’d just fronted it up. Tell me I’m being a cow (She was washing clothes for my baby, I know. I known)

If you want to tumble dry underwired bras, it's best to fasten them securely inside something else, such as a pillowcase.

Everyone's different I guess, but my mum would be mortified if there was a chance she had broken our tumble dryer (especially with a young baby) and she'd be ordering one before she even left the house, tbh she would probably do that even if it wasn't her fault!

I know where you are coming from.

My DM has very good intentions and really tries to help us around the house but in doing so generally causes more work/damage. For example taking the hoover apart and cleaning components (breaking them in the process-need new hoover), stacks the dishwasher and breaks mugs/glasses, cleans the bathroom but uses bleach on delicate surfaces and ruins them, puts a wash on and shrinks everything, does dusting but leaves her hot cup of tea on a wooden surface while she is doing it-sideboard badly damaged. It's really hard to handle as I know she wants to help but I can't cope with cleaning up and fixing after the help.

So YANBU, I would be annoyed but I know I probably shouldn't be!

Something delicate like bras shouldn't be tumble dried

They're up there with silk, lace, cashmere and wool

I'd be royally fucked off

Tbh I couldn't be upset with her it wasn't done on purpose
Move on and don't let it spoil her visit

saying it must have been in there for ages

Surely your mum now has a bra with an underwire missing now though?!

Oh, very hard work, helping OP with her washing. How dare she?

It's not her fault. Presumably she did not know the wire was exposed.

Some people get really odd when ur baby comes and my mother was one of them who just couldn’t cope with me being a mum. So she also did things like this - it was a pattern - so I recall 2 hoovers broken when she was apparently ‘helping out’. And instead of apologising she just said but my hoover does this, doesn’t yours. Well obviously not. Very annoying situation.

I was taught not to but because it damages the bras.

Now I’m curious, because most of us learn these things from our mothers and OP didn’t actually express shock at a bra being put in the dryer at all (only certainty this one couldn’t have been hers because she’s not wearing underwires right now)…

OP, have you ever put an underwire bra in a tumble dryer?

It will be difficult to fix unless the wire is either at the front or poking out of a hole in the tumble dryer. Otherwise the machine will have to be dismantled and the drum extracted from the enclosure and then the items removed. Probably £150 from a technician.

I mean, if it was hers, it will soon become obvious if she starts having one lopsided boob in an outfit!

This is why I've started using delicates bags for bras - those blasted wires pop out with no warning. Not that I have a tumble dryer, but they have been caught in the washing machine before.

It is one of those things OP I'm afraid. I too would be annoyed if it was hers and she's just in full on denial, but appliances always have a habit of breaking at the most inconvenient of times. Hopefully you'll be able to get it fixed rather than having to replace it.

Focus on having a lovely new little baby for Christmas!

You are both being U if you ever tumble dry a bra. It knackers them and it's a waste of energy. They dry hung up in the bath/shower cubicle in a couple of hours.

I had this happen in a washing machine once. Was able to feel where it was in one of the drain holes as a small part was sticking out. Managed to pull it back through by wiggling it. Can you try this?

I’ve been tumble drying my bras for years and nothing has happened to the dryer or the bras. It’s just bad luck and I wouldn’t be annoyed

Thanks everyone. My DH managed to fix it (we think!) this afternoon. I know IABU, my poor mum has been a huge help with the baby and obviously it wans’f
intentional. I’m just finding hosting Christmas with a young baby a bit knackering and am fed up of making small talk already.

Underwire bras can be a hazard in the washing and dryer.
One of those laundry bags are so handy.
A new baby is very tiring especially at Christmas and hosting as well.
Mind yourself and take yourself upstairs for a break.