DSS's lack of communication...

7 replies

Digitaldedado · 23/12/2024 21:35

DSS is 17, no set arrangements in terms of when he is with us - he's nearly an adult. So he just comes when he wants, however I feel he could be better at making plans with DH.
We've not seen him since late Nov, I know DH struggles with this. He's not working and been on school holidays since then, so no real excuse for not coming to see DH.
He's spending 24 hours with us at Christmas, arriving at lunch on Christmas Eve and going back to his mum's at lunch on Christmas Day. But he won't respond about times to get picked up / dropped off - so DH and I can't make plans for the day. It's an hour and a half round trip to collect him right in the middle of both Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. AIBU that DSS, nearly an adult should at least have the decency to text his dad about his plans?

OP posts:

DetestTheClockChange · 23/12/2024 21:37

If he's old enough to make his own plans and do as he pleases, he's old enough to be responsible for communicating.

Tell him what time you need to collect him. If it's not convenient for him, tough shite.

Gem359 · 23/12/2024 21:39

Is it because he doesn't really want to come? You don't want to turn up and him not be there. Maybe his dad should text to ask if he still wants to come as he hasn't heard anything from him.

Original poster

Digitaldedado · 23/12/2024 21:53

I just wish he would communicate, he just ghosts DH instead of telling DH what he needs / wants. It's so frustrating.

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StSwithinsDay · 23/12/2024 21:54

What has his relationship with your dh been like over the years?

needhelpwiththisplease · 23/12/2024 21:59

Honestly. He doesn't want come.

Original poster

Digitaldedado · 23/12/2024 22:00

Its good, I just think it's getting a bit selfish tho. Treats DH and I a bit like a cash point and only comes when it benefits him.

OP posts:

Rainingandlookslikeitwillneverstop · 24/12/2024 07:59

get DH to text him :

‘Not heard back from you - I’ll collect you at 10:45 on Christmas Eve - if that’s not going to work for you - make your own way here’

continue your plans as normal.

if he can’t be bothered to respond to a simple question - you give him a clear option that works for you and he takes it or leaves it.

don’t enable this rudeness any longer.

maybe paying for his own taxis or getting the train will help focus his mind and improve his communication skills?

Flip