AIBU to think a relationship with a man with BPD is doomed to fail?

[shoplifteroftheworld]

I met a younger man back in May and fell for him immediately. He moved in with me in October and the last few months have been chaotic to say the least. He has Borderline Personality Disorder. I have worked in mental health before and supported two women with BPD but being in a romantic relationship is very different.

Is anyone else in a relationship with someone with BPD or have you been in the past? Does anyone have BPD and, if so, can you explain how you feel and behave in romantic relationships? Has anything helped you? Counselling, CBT, medication?

I love this man but his condition makes our relationship really difficult. Thank you in advance.

Have also worked in mental health and completely agree with everything here.

I need stability and peace in my relationships and I dont think that is possible to have in a relationship with someone with BPD. That doesnt mean there arent lovely, kind, caring people with BPD though.

My husband doesn't have a diagnosis but was asked by his counsellor if he had ever explored it and I suspect at his worst would meet the threshold. The thing he has found has helped him most is daily tai chi. He practises every day for 10 minutes and if he ever skips a day it is noticeable. Just in case anyone wants to try it.

Good luck whatever you decide, OP, and remember you can't love anyone else more than you love yourself.

I've met male and female people with a Borderline Personality Disorder diagnosis and the men were definitely more chaotic than the women who are more likely be misdiagnosed. I mention this because yousaid you've known women with the diagnosis but men can be completely different.