To want DP to play more with DD

[Angelcakelover]

So let me start off by saying I believe DP is a good dad, but he's still stuck in some selfish ways. I've had to have conversations with him a few times since DD was born. DD is 10 months old now and enjoys playing more. She also likes TV but I'm trying to limit that a bit more. Now, I'm not perfect, and sometimes I'll scroll on my phone (like I am now) while DD plays on her own. But DP often let's her play independently while he's on his phone or computer. If she cries or needs something, he will comfort her or sort out what she needs, but other than that he doesn't show as much interest in playing with her. If he plays with her, it usually only lasts about 5 minutes. If I need "me" time and go off for an hour or two, he has no problem with that at all. He often encourages me to go out. But it gets to me thinking that our daughter might be feeling a bit neglected if he's not playing with her much? Does anyone else agree or am I being unreasonable? I should add DP works 50 hours and doesn't get too much sleep these days, so he does feel tired. Any thoughts on how I can encourage him to play with her more?
I should add DP will do things like feed her and change (when he's not working) but he often needs me to tell him to do it.

He sounds like a shit Dad. Only interacting with his child for 5 minutes before showing her that his phone or computer is more important is appalling. But you also need to set an example here. Put your phone away when you are with her. "Scrolling" is not more important than her.

Sounds like you are both on your devices so you hardly have a leg to stand on, I'm afraid. Also, it seems like you have become a "baby expert" and he didn't develop independent parenting habits and relies on you to tell him how to care for the baby. If you also start insisting on him spending time with her differently, you will further perpetuate this problem. Just let go and let him figure out the way. Maybe a full day away with friends while he cares for the baby will leave him with no option but to figure out she needs to be fed and changed without you prompting.

This sounds like my DP - I get it to an extent, entertaining a 10 month old for hours on end can become tedious and boring, but you do it because they are your child.

If it helps, as my DD has got older this has stopped, mainly because toddlers don't let you sit on your phone lolll. Maybe suggest for him to take her out and about more? Hard to scroll on your phone whilst feeding the ducks for example.

Yeah I completely get it. I don't sit with her and play all day long, sometimes it's nice to see play by herself. But I do think it needs to improve. I will suggest him taking her out more, for sure. It's hard when the weather sucks, but they both love going for walks and could definitely be doing that more often

There's nothing wrong with encouraging her to play independently. "Playing" with a 10 mth old is painfully tedious and 5 minutes is long enough imo. Even in a nursery, most of the play is self-directed and staff will only intervene when needed.