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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for some help with a letter from Father Christmas please!

17 replies

LouH1981 · 22/12/2024 20:29

Hi all,
I have a dilemma and could do with some creative help please!

So on Monday I ordered some beautiful personalised letters from Father Christmas for my two children. DS9 and DD5.

When I ordered them I was asked to provide lots of details including the name of any pets and so I naturally gave them name of our Lab.

Sadly, we had to have our beautiful big old Lab PTS on Thursday. He’d been poorly for a while but we had expected him to make it through Christmas but unfortunately it wasn’t to be.

Both children are heartbroken (as are we). He was 15 and all they’d known.

But now I have these beautiful letters which include his name.

The dilemma I have is that the children have already mentioned that Father Christmas will know he has has passed away.

Do I give them these beautiful letters? And if so, how do I explain that Father Christmas has written about him in the present tense?

Or do I just not bother and risk having the children notice Father Christmas hasn’t written to them?

To help, the letters say:
‘(DS9) - My reindeers can race at speed, I bet Bailey (our dog) would like to see that’
’DD5 - The hares at the North Pole love to play hide and seek. I expect Bailey likes to play hide and seek too’

Any thoughts would be massively appreciated especially as my head is all over the place after losing my faithful old friend xxx

OP posts:
Everley · 22/12/2024 20:32

I would be inclined to give them the letters and maybe a follow up letter to them both, maybe from one of his elves saying that Father Christmas had posted the letters before he got the news of the dog.

So sorry for your loss.

Rainallnight · 22/12/2024 20:35

Does FC write to them every year?

Floralnomad · 22/12/2024 20:37

I’d just not give them , sorry about your dog 💐

AllTheOtherCats · 22/12/2024 20:37

Sorry you've had to say goodbye to your dog. Do the children think Bailey has gone to heaven? Perhaps Father Christmas is talking about Bailey watching/doing those things from heaven?

BIossomtoes · 22/12/2024 20:38

FC wrote them before Bailey died.

Glitchymn1 · 22/12/2024 20:41

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Did you answer them when they asked if Father Christmas would know the dog had passed? It hinges a little on that.

You could say the letters were already posted. I’m not sure what I would do, but if they are very upset about the dog I would be inclined not to give them the letters. If you do, then you’ll need to prepare an answer I think.

Could you make new letters yourself or order new ones.

niclw · 22/12/2024 20:47

Your letters sound like the one I ordered for my child from a well know charity. If it is from the same charity as my child's you are also able to opt to download the letter and print for yourself. Is this an option? I opted for the postal version but also had a downloadable version sent via email (I think). I was going to print it if the letter didn't arrive on time.

Ineffable23 · 22/12/2024 21:17

Do you have word, or even better PowerPoint on your computer?

If so, download a lovely wintery background off Google - there will be one, or Microsoft probably has one. Then write up the text of their letter but adapt it to say they are so sorry to hear about Bailey and either change the sentences to the past tense or remove them?

Then print yourself or places like Rymans and your local library will do printing and will be open tomorrow.

haje · 22/12/2024 21:20

I'm sorry for your loss.

I suppose it depends on your family and how it's been and what they believe.

To me, those sentences could be read as now. So Bailey, wherever he is could do those things?

Cosycover · 22/12/2024 21:33

Letters take a long time to get here all the way from the North Pole. So he wrote them before Bailey died.

Sorry for your loss 💜

Original poster
LouH1981 · 23/12/2024 00:22

Rainallnight · 22/12/2024 20:35

Does FC write to them every year?

Pretty much, certainly every year for the last 4 years xx

OP posts:
Original poster
LouH1981 · 23/12/2024 00:35

Glitchymn1 · 22/12/2024 20:41

I’m so sorry for your loss.

Did you answer them when they asked if Father Christmas would know the dog had passed? It hinges a little on that.

You could say the letters were already posted. I’m not sure what I would do, but if they are very upset about the dog I would be inclined not to give them the letters. If you do, then you’ll need to prepare an answer I think.

Could you make new letters yourself or order new ones.

Hi, thank you xx
Yes, my son said he’d considered asking FC in his letter to bring Bailey back 😢 and we agreed that it didn’t really work like that and my daughter came to the decision Bailey could possibly even be with FC and is watching over her from the North Pole.
I agree, I certainly don’t want to upset them on Christmas morning.
Unfortunately, our printer isn’t working and I’ve missed the last post date to order more before Christmas Eve.

OP posts:
NachoChip · 23/12/2024 00:51

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I think your first thought needs to be how your children will respond to the mention of Bailey, and the Father Christmas bit second.

If the mention of him, particularly in the present tense, is going to upset them more then sack off the letters or find a way to do them again.

If you think that they might find comfort in Father Christmas mentioning him then maybe the "he's always with us/playing in the sky" etc would work.

ShortyShorts · 23/12/2024 00:53

Ahh what an awful shame.

Do you know anyone who could hand write the letters in glittery gel pens and just leave out the bit about the dog?

Or ask in your local FB group if someone with a printer can help you out.

I'm sure lots of people would be only too happy to.

JMSA · 23/12/2024 00:55

AllTheOtherCats · 22/12/2024 20:37

Sorry you've had to say goodbye to your dog. Do the children think Bailey has gone to heaven? Perhaps Father Christmas is talking about Bailey watching/doing those things from heaven?

This was my thought too.

SeaToSki · 23/12/2024 00:57

Re write it and see if you can print it at your local library on some festive paper

MumChp · 23/12/2024 01:06

Rewrite and print at library.
Sorry for your loss.

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