Friends needing attention from men on night out

[Ontobetterthings]

I've got a couple of good friends. Whenever we go out they need to have attention from men despite both being married. Myself as well.

We went out this week the 3 of us. I was at the end of a long table and both became engrossed in conversations with random men in this social club. I was completely ignored as then men were in the middle of this long table. 20 mins must have passed and I was sat there. The music was loud so I couldn't join in.

Then when we went to the bar a couple of friends of my husband came over to chat. They tried to dominate the conversation and telling them my age. I'm a few years older. Then we left and they were saying the husband friends fancied them. They did this last time we went out as a 3. I'm completely over it as I'm a busy mum and thought whats the point in being there. It was supposed to be a girls night out. It happens everytime. Any old bloke comes over and that's it poof might as well not be there. Aibu?

I've got a couple of friends like this too - always eyeing up the waiters/bar staff. Luckily the rest of us can just roll our eyes and talk to each other, must be frustrating if you're basically ignored though.

They sound very desperado to me !

YANBU. They sound tiresome.

I hated this when I was a teenager. I woulf have absolutely no patience for it now!

Oh no, I'd find this unbearable. Maybe a meal or lunch time catch up is a better idea - that's if they have any redeeming features.

Yeah they try to be best friends or get attention from any man that's out. At one point I had my friend with her back to me. Think I'm done going out with them as a 3. Can't catch up cos some random man needs all their attention even though they are married

Yeah, this. I was the friend that was left out as a teen. Now, I'd be cutting these people off, but that is just me

I'd tell them about their behaviour and say you want to meet up for brunch or coffee instead

I've had this.

Not much advice! It soon stopped when they had boyfriends and grew out of it. Now they really are just girls nights.

I used to have a friend just like this. Always putting updates on Facebook about her happy marriage and amazing husband and then on every girls night out she's off dancing with men and I saw her kiss a few too. Hence why I say 'used to' have a friend. I can't be bothered with being left alone on nights out while shes off with randoms or just being used as a reason to go out so she could meet men so I've distanced myself from it all. If that's what they want to do then that's fine but I just don't want to be part of it.

I had the same from a friend when I was in my 20s and that was tedious then. V boring now. Although I’m hard pushed to find anyone who wants to go to bars these days!

I really have no time for people who need constant external validation like this, it’s annoying and tedious. This will not be a long term fix for their poor self esteem. Honestly in your position I would be seeking other friends.

Some of my best memories were nights out in my teenage years / twenties with girl friends, just having fun and not focusing on men at all. In fact men ‘sharking’ tended to hinder our nights!

Goodness this reminds me of being a student and one girl who was involved in one of the societies I was in. Going to the pub or similar resulted in exactly the same conversation on loop.

"Oh no! There's Steve. He fancies me and I really don't want him to see me. Can you hide me? See he's looking this way. I know he's going to come over. Please don't let him speak to me as it's soooo embarrassing...."
Steve walks past chatting to his friends.
Friend stands up. "Hi Steve!"
Him: "Hi Sara!"
He leaves.
Two minutes later:
"Oh no! there's Chris. He fancies me and...."

Never saw any inclination that any of them regarded her as anything more than a casual acquaintance.
Agh!

I used to be a bit like that when I was a teenager. Feel sorry for these ladies OP because they are deeply insecure. I wouldn't go out with them anymore.

Don't go out with people who treat you like that.