Being asked to contribute money for gifts at work instead of being asked if you would like to contribute

[ThatFunRubyHelper]

A member of our team has asked that we all contribute some money towards a gift for a specific member at our work place. She has asked for the money straight out , instead of asking if we would like to donate. It's not a large amount of money however I find it annoying that she is straight out requesting the money without checking that everyone is ok to contribute in the first place. Did anyone else have an experience like this?

Depends what it's for.

Given the cost of living crisis and time of year I think it’s incredibly poor form!

Everywhere I’ve ever worked over the years has been a lot more tactful than this! Typically it’s an email saying “If you would like to contribute…,” then details of relevant bank account/person to give cash to.

Say no.

We've only ever requested donations. I would refuse on the grounds I decide where my money is spent thanks.

I was pressurised to give to a managers leaving gift. I said a blank no. When asked why I said it was because I didn’t like them. Other people didn’t either but still coughed up

Just say no. You're an adult, you can work out if the fallout you may get is worth it

Just say no. It's quite simple.

We have the option of giving money or just signing a card, think that fair enough

Yes send an email round saying X has a card and envelope for Y having baby. Feel free to sign and contribute if you want to by 5pm on…

No one knows other people’s finances even those on a good wage. They may still want to say goodbye or congratulations.

If anyone wants to individually give a present so the recipient knows they gave something that’s fine. If a colleague is generally stingy it will probably be evident in other behaviour such as not chipping in for tea or coffee when they drink it.

What a cheek. I’d just ignore but then I always decided whose collections and how much I’d contribute.

There were 17 leaving collections one year at a school I worked at. The irony was that most people wanted to leave as we were being amalgamated.

Yanbu it should always be optional. My work has a habit of sending flowers, gifts etc anytime someone is off sick for a period, operations etc. I dont contribute, because I don't know 'Jill from accounts' well enough to want to donate money for flowers when she broke her ankle. I'd rather spend the money on treats for my kids.

I always put into people's lifts, but it should be a request not a demand! And only for milestone birthdays, retirement and new baby. (Not weddings for some reason).

It definitely was better pre-covid - someone would go round loudly asking if anyone wanted to chip in with an ancient Quality Street tin and a card - people could pop in a fiver (occasionally), couple of pounds (more common) or even 50p (only dross in your purse) and sign the card. No-one was asked directly and there was no pressure. A general email would also go out saying XX had the tin and card until Friday or whatever to make sure everyone had the option.

During and post-covid it became an email with someone's bank account and a minimum fiver "suggested". Then someone else signs the card on your behalf. Upshot is far fewer people bother - too much hassle, dictated amount often considered too steep and no personal card messages.

It's fine to just refuse, especially since covid people have been doing that.