To ask you how much you think I'm entitled to in a divorce?

[Thinkingof2025]

For context:
Together 17 years
Married 7 years
2 DC 10&6
I've worked PT since DC born.. average salary 30k
H works FT average salary 75k
I have standard NHS pension which I started paying into 10 years ago (didn't have pension before then)
H has , I think, 2 pensions , a company one and another private one. He's always been vague and shady about his pensions.

We own our house, value around 450-475k with approximately 175k mortgage

I have an apartment in Spain in my name which my dad "bought for me" technically, but he uses it and decides what happens etc. we are close to me taking it over anyway in it's entirety, worth about £90-100k, so I guess this would have to come into the equation in finances.

I have minimal savings under 6k
H has probably about 20k although again v.vague and shady

I know I will have to consult a solicitor about what will happen but does anyone have any idea about what sort of equity I will be looking at from the house (I have worked off the assumption that my Spain property balances off his pension so they both kind of cancel each other out... But I don't know how much his pension is worth) so therefore it will just be an equity split

The equity on house is 300k would it likely be 50:50, or more in my favour as I still have to work PT due to the DC so my earning potential is less at least for the next 5-10 years.

DC would stay with me,maybe stay with him 1 or 2 nights a week on average

Any help would be great as want to start considering what kind of house I can buy from my equity, I can only afford a 150k mortgage on my own

Have you had a conversation with him? Do you want to keep the house in Spain?
Can you rent it out?

It's very difficult to say what you'd b entitled to. You'll need to get a solicitor and the expectation would be that you'd both have to list your personal assets and pensions and then things are worked out from there. As your DCs are still very young this would be taken into account so I very much doubt it'd be a 50/50 split. It could also be possible that you'd be entitled to some of his pension once he retires and/or a lump sum. He will also have to pay you maintenance for the DCs until they are 18.
Get yourself a solicitor and hope that ex DH plays ball or things may get very expensive!

No one could advise you properly without knowing what his pensions are worth. He'll have to provide that info for the financial forms.

No one could advise you properly without knowing what his pensions are worth. He'll have to provide that info for the financial forms.

You would be expected to work full time. What would your salary be when hours are increased? If close to his then your buying potential will be similar and you can expect something like 50/50 including pensions. If there is still a big difference in earning power then maybe a bit more but likely 60/65 max depending on how much being oart-,time effected your career.

If the house in Spain has never been a shared asset then it might be left out of consideration. When was it given to you? Can you and ex both be housed on 150k?

If you suspect he is being shady and hiding assets then consider a forensic accountant.

Interesting
Why would I be required to work FT? When I have DC?

My FT salary would be about 46k

You are not "required" to work full time.

Many parents who are part time find that with increased costs post divorce they need to be full time in order to pay the bills.

I do not work at all post divorce (severely disabled)

Highly likely to be 50/50, but everything will go in the pot to be assessed. You will both need to fill in a Form E, where all savings, pensions, etc, will be declared, so you will then know what is up for negotiation. You will be expected to maximise your income (ie work full time). Do not agree to anything without having a consultation with a solicitor. You can pay for a one-off consultation, you don't need to engage them and pay them to represent you immediately. You will need to go to mediation if you can't agree on a split between you. Head over to the Divorce/Separation chat and download the free Advice Now guides pinned to the top to get an idea about the whole process. You can do a lot of the work yourself once you know how it all works.

No we would both have to take out seperate mortgages and use the equity share as a deposit . Would get nothing for 150k. Maybe a studio flat or small 1 bed flat.
A 3 bed house in this area is around 300-375k.
If I "only" got 150 equity from the house (50%) then with my ability to only get a 150k mortgage then I'll be looking at the lower end value houses

Whereas if he got 150k he can get a much bigger mortgage than me on his salary so will be able to afford more
😔

Yes perhaps I should have been clearer. Your financial position will be judged as if you were working full time. You can't expect to be subsidised while working full time.

If you can survive with the assets you get and continuing to work parttime then that's what you can do.

Lots of people work full time while raising kids.

A possible exception is if you have children with additional needs that require you to work part time and DH won't be taking on 50/50 care.

Is the flat in Spain in your name? If not, then it would not be included (which would be useful for you). Value would be less than the sale value anyway because you would likely pay capital gains tax on any theoretical sale as a second property. Child maintenance will depend on how many nights with each parent. Courts tend to not grant spousal maintenance any more unless one of you was a very high earner. You need to know all the details before agreeing anything.

Yes it's in my name

They'd probably stay with him 1-2 nights a week on average over a year

My daughter is currently being assessed for ASD, and me being away from her/working more would absolutely make her /make her feel worse.

So working FT is not really an option for me at the moment 😔

That's the kind of information that would be included in the Form E as evidence for asking for more than 50/50. Download the form, send a copy to your H and ask him to fill it in, so you can get a clearer picture. You need to take as much information as possible to a solicitor otherwise they can't advise you properly. Legally, he will have to fill it in and declare everything. Good luck.

Also bear in mind that a public sector pension is almost certainly more valuable than an equivalent private sector one - i.e. 10 years of public sector pension on £xxk per year is almost certainly larger than 10 years of private sector on the same salary, so his pensions may not be worth multiples of yours.

As a VERY rough example, if you're accruing at 1/80th per year, your pension might now be worth, say ~£4k per year.

The equivalent defined contribution pension to match that might be a pot of £125k, so that is what would be considered when splitting the pensions fairly.

His pension(s) could be worth anything at all from less than yours to several multiples of it, depending on the details.

Yes, because he works more and earns more.

How old are your kids, why can't you work more?

Even if he worked PT he'd still earn more than my FT salary

I've had to reject several promotions to enhance his career (as he still earned more regardless). My earning potential was limited due to DC which obviously I was happy to do, but now feel resentment him walking off into the sunset with 50% equity and 100% earning power.

DC are 10&6

DC 10 is being assessed for ASD at the moment and to be away from her would cause her to feel /be worse. I've had to reduce my hours recently to cope with all this , I could go back up to what I was before , which wouldn't be too much hardship

I'm just already thinking of she spends time with him and then with me but I'm later back as working or whatever it'll have a bigger impact on her than the younger DC