Who decides what's on telly?

[Sdfgg123]

Wondering who decides what's on telly in an evening? I have a 13yo step son and husband who are football man. During the football season, football is a pretty constant fixture for a few hours most nights at least until step son goes to bed, but frequently late until the night depending on what matches have been played that day. Haven't been living here long, and no experience with teenagers. Is this pretty much the norm with regards to evenings for football mad families?

Me. I live on my own. It's glorious.

No it's not normal at all. If you only have one TV the time available needs to be shared between things you want to watch and things they want to watch (in the long run, not necessarily exactly evenly every evening). If the stepson goes to bed earlier than you, you might decide to let him have 'his' hours earlier in the evenings.

Didn't any discussions take place before you moved in? I've moved in with my DP, I'm ok with him continuing to watch sport. I've got a laptop and headphones to watch what I want.

It didn't occur to me to discuss such a thing before I moved in! Seems like a petty thing to bring up in the grand scheme of things, although admittedly it does occasionally bother me now.

Is there only one TV? I think as you've moved in and that's their status quo you need to handle it carefully

You have 2 TVs , or more .

There’s loads of research from the 80s and 90s re the family power dynamics and who picks what to watch and who has the remote control. Unsurprisingly it usually dads, then teenagers and mums get the least say. It’s probably changed a lot now as most homes have multiple screens.

I'm a bit torn. On the one hand, it sounds like this is an important shared source of enjoyment for your DP and his teen son. Put bluntly, his son was there first, and I can't imagine it is going to be a postive thing for your relationship if you try to disrupt something she enjoys sharing with his dad.

On the other hand, your DSS will be forming his model for future relationships on what he sees around him, and it's important this includes compromise and consideration for other people.

On balance, I think compromise is the best approach - it would seem reasonable that there should be at least one or two nights a week you get to choose what you watch, and they are welcome to join you. This message needs to come from your DP though, not you.

Rugby mad males here. I just put in my ear buds and watch what I want on my tablet. Read my kindle or faff on my phone.