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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Birthday plans husband says I've planned it wrong way round

68 replies

Jobsharenightmare · 21/12/2024 21:14

I've arranged a surprise for my husband's big birthday soon. I have ended up telling him vaguely what's planned because he suddenly announced he'd like to arrange something.

He knows we're doing an activity and has said he thinks that should come first. He doesn't know it's an escape room with a welcome drink. So I guess he may think it's something like bowling/axe throwing/crazy golf etc all of which are within a 30 min drive. Just in case this is relevant...

I could possibly change the plan if I'm voted U here. Currently it's pre-dinner drinks at 6, seated at 7, escape room at 9 then cocktails at 10.30 for anyone who is staying over.

YABU: It should be escape room, dinner then cocktails
YANBU: people want to eat first right?

OP posts:
HunterHearstHelmsley · 21/12/2024 21:56

Activity then dinner. I wouldn't enjoy myself having dinner and drinks then pootling off to an activity. Leave me in my food coma.

Whole timings will need to be changed though so may not be possible at this stage?

Rowen32 · 21/12/2024 21:56

Jobsharenightmare · 21/12/2024 21:14

I've arranged a surprise for my husband's big birthday soon. I have ended up telling him vaguely what's planned because he suddenly announced he'd like to arrange something.

He knows we're doing an activity and has said he thinks that should come first. He doesn't know it's an escape room with a welcome drink. So I guess he may think it's something like bowling/axe throwing/crazy golf etc all of which are within a 30 min drive. Just in case this is relevant...

I could possibly change the plan if I'm voted U here. Currently it's pre-dinner drinks at 6, seated at 7, escape room at 9 then cocktails at 10.30 for anyone who is staying over.

YABU: It should be escape room, dinner then cocktails
YANBU: people want to eat first right?

Definitely activity first. Would hate to be going into escape room at 9 at night!

GiraffesAtThePark · 21/12/2024 21:59

Agree with your husband- activity first then you can relax

needhelpwiththisplease · 21/12/2024 22:01

Crawling on the floor looking for clues after dinner & drinks is not fun

Fourecks · 21/12/2024 22:03

I agree with the majority that I would prefer the activity first while I'm sober and not full, then a relaxed dinner where you don't have to watch the clock.

I do hope your husband is appreciative of the effort you have gone to in order to arrange a lovely surprise for his birthday though.

Doggymummar · 21/12/2024 22:05

Activity first, maybe like 5pm then everything else works as booked.

Spaceid · 21/12/2024 22:07

From experience, nobody wants a full bladder or stomach when participating in an escape room. There were a lot of us (half) who had to shout to get out as we needed the loo. Mixture of men/women/old/young. Please don’t do that to people!!

freshfrule · 21/12/2024 22:08

Definitely activity first. Would not want to be doing an escape room after dinner and drinks. Also a break in drinking for 1.5 hours would sober me up and I wouldn't fancy getting on the cocktails, so you might get more drop offs for that part of the evening too.

InterestedDad37 · 21/12/2024 22:25

Yep, activity first imho 😀

AlmosttimeforChristmas · 22/12/2024 08:14

Do 30 minutes of drinks at 6, activity at 6.30 and dinner at 8

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 22/12/2024 08:15

Activity first, then you can relax and enjoy dinner.

verycloakanddaggers · 22/12/2024 08:16

Activity first.

Jinglingandmingling · 22/12/2024 08:19

I’d do escape room, then cocktails, then dinner

Onlyvisiting · 22/12/2024 08:19

Jobsharenightmare · 21/12/2024 21:14

I've arranged a surprise for my husband's big birthday soon. I have ended up telling him vaguely what's planned because he suddenly announced he'd like to arrange something.

He knows we're doing an activity and has said he thinks that should come first. He doesn't know it's an escape room with a welcome drink. So I guess he may think it's something like bowling/axe throwing/crazy golf etc all of which are within a 30 min drive. Just in case this is relevant...

I could possibly change the plan if I'm voted U here. Currently it's pre-dinner drinks at 6, seated at 7, escape room at 9 then cocktails at 10.30 for anyone who is staying over.

YABU: It should be escape room, dinner then cocktails
YANBU: people want to eat first right?

Are you having to fit this all in after work or something? As ideally I'd do the escape room earlier, then a relaxed dinner afterwards. Your way around would been I was slightly on edge all dinner as aware of needing to leave on time (what if service is really slow), and would much rather relax after a nice meal than get up and go do an activity. Especially one from 9-10pm, that is definite PJ and slippers time in my life!

susiedaisy1912 · 22/12/2024 08:26

Activity first

Edingril · 22/12/2024 08:27

Activity first i would not do anything after dinner

Original poster
Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 08:29

So my way round seems to be in the minority in terms of preferences and I'm wondering if it's because I have never been to an escape room....No idea it was as physical as you're suggesting so thank you all!

Given that, escape room, cocktails then dinner would actually be fun to talk about it all whilst mingling with different people.

Will leave the thread open and come back before making a final decision as I've got enough time to change some of this.

Thanks for the replies.

OP posts:
Wolframandhart · 22/12/2024 08:31

Activity first.

but dinner, escape room then cocktails in 5 hours? What are people wearing to suit all three activities?

Sanch1 · 22/12/2024 08:44

Activity first. Once you've sat down for food and cocktails people will lot want to go off for an escape, and also maybe too tipsy for an escape room!

DappledThings · 22/12/2024 08:44

Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 08:29

So my way round seems to be in the minority in terms of preferences and I'm wondering if it's because I have never been to an escape room....No idea it was as physical as you're suggesting so thank you all!

Given that, escape room, cocktails then dinner would actually be fun to talk about it all whilst mingling with different people.

Will leave the thread open and come back before making a final decision as I've got enough time to change some of this.

Thanks for the replies.

According to the vote 240 people think you should do activity first and only 17 agree with you. That's pretty definitive!

gamerchick · 22/12/2024 08:45

So my way round seems to be in the minority in terms of preferences and I'm wondering if it's because I have never been to an escape room....No idea it was as physical as you're suggesting so thank you all!

Some of them are nuts. If the only way to get into the next room is to climb into a big drawer and get pushed in by another player, you definitely don't want a belly full of grub. Dress for comfort.

Funfuninthesunsun · 22/12/2024 08:53

Activity first then drinks and dinner and more drinks.

I think once I'd had dinner and a couple of wines I'd decline going to the escape room in favour of more wine and a sit down.

Original poster
Jobsharenightmare · 22/12/2024 09:43

Bit worried now. Quite a few of you mention wanting to opt out if full. How can I make it clear to everyone that it's the cocktails that is optional on the night if you like? I'll be paying £30 pp for the escape room and it's non refundable. The cocktail bar is letting me reserve an area for £50 so it's OK if lots go home then.

Based on the poll so far I've got enough insight now thanks, will see what can be changed! Will aim for escape room, dinner and cocktails I think but try to make it clear to people once they say yes it's not a decide on the night if they fancy it kind of situation... been saving for a year for this evening!

OP posts:
AlpacaMittens · 22/12/2024 09:46

Sorry OP, he's right, it's completely the wrong way around. Should be activity first.

cariadlet · 22/12/2024 09:49

Escape room, dinner and cocktails sounds perfect.
The escape room will get the guests working together and give them something to talk about.

It might be worth a discussion in the birthday WhatsApp group (or however you are organising the communication) about what everyone is going to wear so that nobody is uncomfortable if they turn up dressed differently from the others.

It wouldn't be a problem for me an my friends as we're a tshirt and jeans crowd but might be worth thinking about if you and your friends like to dress up for dinner or if the cocktail bar is posh.

High heels would definitely be a no no for an escape room.