Page 12 | To eat at a restaurant alone on Christmas day

Gorganzolabrie · 2024-12-21T12:39:40+00:00

I'm a single woman in my sixties with no children. This year all my family and friends will be away/with other family for Christmas and for the first time ever I'll be alone on the 25th. This doesn't particularly bother me. It would be nice to have someone to spend Christmas with but I'm not a very Christmassy person and I'm looking forward to going away for a week over New Year. I discovered that one of my favourite local restaurants is open for a few hours in the afternoon and has a Christmas menu, so I booked myself in. I'm now having second thoughts. I'm wondering if I'll feels self-conscious dining on my own on Christmas day. I don't really want to be an object of people's curiosity or pity and I certainly don't want to be invited to join another table. Should I cancel and have a more relaxing time on my own? I'm also curious about whether any of you have dined alone in public on Christmas day? What was it like? If you saw somebody doing it, would you feel sorry for them? YABU - Sod what people think - go and enjoy your solo meal YANBU - Stay at home. It will be less stressful TIA for your responses.

Bowies · 22/12/2024 20:59

I think it sounds perfect - people there should just be focussing on themselves and not on you. I’m sure quite a few people would love the peace and opportunity to enjoy their favourite food like this.

shehasglasses48 · 22/12/2024 21:00

I’d stay at home and just enjoy doing what you want to do rather than worrying about being out. You can still have a nice time, probably better time than being stuck with family! X

Original poster

Gorganzolabrie · 22/12/2024 21:21

Thanks for all your encouragement. I'll definitely report back!

OP posts:

Snowangles · 22/12/2024 21:33

Go for it op.
A man wouldn't think twice. Enjoy.

I used to go to bars alone for short visits a lot in my 20s after an
Trauma.
It's empowering.

Teenagehorrorbag · 22/12/2024 22:17

Totally go for it, and enjoy!!

I know it's not quite the same, but I used to eat alone often on business trips, just take a book or a newspaper.

I had a few single Christmases when younger - never ate out but I definitely would now!

Merry Christmas! xxx

Garlicwest · 22/12/2024 22:20

I missed the poll but YABU! It's what I want to do - I worked in restaurants when young, and would very much like to be a Christmas Day customer now I'm not young. Have a nice time 🎄

edited cos your poll question was a bit confusing 😂

ZippyDoodle · 22/12/2024 22:40

We went on a cruise and used to see a lady in her 80s dining alone in the fancy restaurant. She was all dressed up and would eat all the courses, drink wine, etc. I used to think good on her! She was clearly having a nice time even if she was on her own.

LadyChilli · 22/12/2024 22:53

I love people. To think that the biggest risk of Christmas lunch out alone is being invited to join other tables, and if you did join, it would be fine ❤️

Your best armour is going to be an ability to turn down offers graciously so people don't feel a need to persuade you. Something like "I couldn't think of anything more decadent than a solo Christmas lunch but thank you so much for the offer" and you'll be good.

sammylady37 · 23/12/2024 06:30

Pinkflamingo84 · 22/12/2024 19:02

I'd be that person that invites you to sit with us 🙈🙈 I'd also probably shed a few tears that you were alone, I can't help it, it's the type of person I am. I'm silly really, i would just assume that anyone alone was unhappy being alone, you're clearly fine with your own company and many others too, I wouldn't be, I'd be sad and that's probably why I feel the way I do. I say go and enjoy your meal but expect to come across people like me 🤣🙈🙈

Jesus Christ. Your attitude is so patronising, intrusive and downright rude. Do you not realise and understand that some people are perfectly content and happy in their own company, actively pursue solo activities, and don’t want the company of strangers, or their pity or tears? Why on earth would someone like that prefer to have their dinner whilst making polite conversation with complete strangers, instead of sitting on their own doing what they want to do, be that reading, idly musing, people watching etc? Alone does not mean lonely.

If someone approached me with tears in their eyes, expressing their sadness at me being alone, and asked me to join them, I would give them fairly short shrift.

Mummadeze · 23/12/2024 07:11

I was in Thailand on my own on Xmas day in my 20s and had a Thai banquet in a lovely hotel, went for a swim in a rooftop pool and then hung out in my suite and had a jacuzzi bath and read a book. My Mum was really sad for me, but it was bliss and I loved it. I had been backpacking for a month and that day of luxury felt like the best treat ever. Coming back to you, if you want to I would say why not. When I holidayed in Kenya on my own people invited me to dinner with them in the hotel and I just smiled and said am fine on my own but thank you. It was all good.

SequoiaTree · 23/12/2024 07:28

Mummadeze · 23/12/2024 07:11

I was in Thailand on my own on Xmas day in my 20s and had a Thai banquet in a lovely hotel, went for a swim in a rooftop pool and then hung out in my suite and had a jacuzzi bath and read a book. My Mum was really sad for me, but it was bliss and I loved it. I had been backpacking for a month and that day of luxury felt like the best treat ever. Coming back to you, if you want to I would say why not. When I holidayed in Kenya on my own people invited me to dinner with them in the hotel and I just smiled and said am fine on my own but thank you. It was all good.

That Christmas day in Thailand does sound lovely.

queensonia · 23/12/2024 08:30

I often eat alone in nice restaurants. Take your iPad or phone and photograph your food a bit ostentatiously. It will stop other diners fretting about you being sad and lonely if they think you are reviewing the restaurant or vlogging or something.

BettyBardMacDonald · 23/12/2024 08:34

Movinghouseatlast · 21/12/2024 12:47

My huge fear with this would be that people would invite me to join them and then it's embarrassing saying no.

I think have a good excuse up your sleeve to put them off, something non committal and non specific " I'm not feeling very festive and wouldn't be very good company but thank you so much for asking". Obviously that's a white lie but hopefully would put them off asking any further. Say it with a big smile though to deflect!

Edited

Why not just say "thank you but I'm enjoying my own company! Merry Christmas!"

Why should a woman alone act like a sad sack or make herself out to be a miserable downer in order to decline an invitation ??!!

BettyBardMacDonald · 23/12/2024 08:38

Of course you should go and enjoy yourself. Dress up, take a book (Poirot's Christmas or A Christmas Carol, perhaps?) or your phone, and enjoy people watching.

Dining alone isn't a pathetic sign of loserhood. We need to stop making it so.

BettyBardMacDonald · 23/12/2024 08:43

Buffs · 22/12/2024 19:35

I am single and discovered the pleasure of eating alone quite recently. On Christmas Day you may be invited to join another table or have to smile at unwelcome Christmas banter from other guests. I suggest finding and booking a table a bit tucked away and bring your own reading material and headphones. Or asking the restaurant to make a dinner to go. Either that or just embrace the atmosphere - there will definitely be people eating with their family who will be envious of your solitude!

Headphones?

Jesus H Christ. Not at an upmarket restaurant on Christmas Day. People need to develop some social skills instead of hiding behind devices.

The OP is merely dining alone, not trying to be an invisible, anti-social hermit incapable of graciously interacting with the world.

OneLemonPanda · 23/12/2024 08:45

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GhastlyGoodTaste · 23/12/2024 08:51

This bears repeating:

Headphones?

Jesus H Christ. Not at an upmarket restaurant on Christmas Day. People need to develop some social skills instead of hiding behind devices.

The OP is merely dining alone, not trying to be an invisible, anti-social hermit incapable of graciously interacting with the world.

OneLemonPanda · 23/12/2024 09:03

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GhastlyGoodTaste · 23/12/2024 09:36

Oh, what did I miss?

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 23/12/2024 09:43

Pinkflamingo84 · 22/12/2024 19:02

I'd be that person that invites you to sit with us 🙈🙈 I'd also probably shed a few tears that you were alone, I can't help it, it's the type of person I am. I'm silly really, i would just assume that anyone alone was unhappy being alone, you're clearly fine with your own company and many others too, I wouldn't be, I'd be sad and that's probably why I feel the way I do. I say go and enjoy your meal but expect to come across people like me 🤣🙈🙈

Wow, it’s all about you and your special feelings, isn’t it? You care so much about showing how much you care that you actually don’t care about ruining someone else’s meal or making them uncomfortable with your performative tears.

Jesus Christ.

Feelingathomenow · 23/12/2024 09:45

BettyBardMacDonald · 23/12/2024 08:38

Of course you should go and enjoy yourself. Dress up, take a book (Poirot's Christmas or A Christmas Carol, perhaps?) or your phone, and enjoy people watching.

Dining alone isn't a pathetic sign of loserhood. We need to stop making it so.

abso bloody lutely. Although I have a husband and child, I often do things by myself, I would much rather be alone for a lot of concerts, plays etc (often eat alone before hand). Often we end up compromising what we really want for the whims of others.

sammylady37 · 23/12/2024 09:54

GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 23/12/2024 09:43

Wow, it’s all about you and your special feelings, isn’t it? You care so much about showing how much you care that you actually don’t care about ruining someone else’s meal or making them uncomfortable with your performative tears.

Jesus Christ.

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Yup, this sums it up!

TofuTart · 23/12/2024 11:00

Feelingathomenow · 23/12/2024 09:45

abso bloody lutely. Although I have a husband and child, I often do things by myself, I would much rather be alone for a lot of concerts, plays etc (often eat alone before hand). Often we end up compromising what we really want for the whims of others.

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I'm the same, as in husband and kids but I still love going places by myself, whether it be a show or a meal.

NooNoo1979 · 23/12/2024 11:35

HangingOver · 21/12/2024 12:50

Tbh if you're going to lie you might as well make it a belter.

"My seventh husband died on Christmas day in a motorboat accident in Antibes last year, therefore I will be taking my Christmas meal is solomn silence, I thank you"

They'll be dining out on that anecdotes for years.

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This 100% 😁

ilovesooty · 23/12/2024 12:42

sammylady37 · 23/12/2024 06:30

Jesus Christ. Your attitude is so patronising, intrusive and downright rude. Do you not realise and understand that some people are perfectly content and happy in their own company, actively pursue solo activities, and don’t want the company of strangers, or their pity or tears? Why on earth would someone like that prefer to have their dinner whilst making polite conversation with complete strangers, instead of sitting on their own doing what they want to do, be that reading, idly musing, people watching etc? Alone does not mean lonely.

If someone approached me with tears in their eyes, expressing their sadness at me being alone, and asked me to join them, I would give them fairly short shrift.

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Well said.