Christmas for the kids

[Mattknight]

Hi all
i turn to the mums for some advice on a peristent situation we seem to keep ebduring which seens to take over absaloutly every thing in our lifes.
so i have a son who spends most of his tine with his mum, i also have a step daughter who unfortuantly doesnf have any sort of interaction with her father, both children are now 6 soon to turn 7.
il start with my view, both children every other christmas will share each others company, i personally believe that because of the big man being the deliverer of gifts that both children should be treated fairly, however my partners view is that because my son has 2 chirstmas days he should on therefor account for half of what her daughter gets on christmas day, this presumably given because she only gets ghe one day.

none of me is comftorble with it, i just believe each parent is different and that it should not be taken into account what any other house hold does other than our own.

please help and dont feel obliged to agree because it has been causing many riffs and has now led to seperste christmas apart.

thanks ladys and other men

Does the step daughter not get any presents from her biological father’s side of the family?

Personally I think you should spend what you want on your own son for Christmas. Your partner can spend whatever she wants on her daughter.

You should each get your child whatever you want, but be mindful of how this is presented.

For example, it would be awful for one of them to come downstairs to a massive pile of presents from Santa and the other child has much less.

I would make the Santa haul equal if they're waking up together on Christmas morning. You can then gift him anything else you want to get him from you later in the day while your stepdaughter gets presents from her mum - do this but seperately if necessary.

No not a thing,
I think it’s more of an issue to what I do and not what she spends, that she’s getting at. I personally believe it isn’t about the value but simply cannot have a situation where one has twice the amount of the other due to a breakdown in previous relationships, there children when it comes down to it and they simply don’t understand the dynamics

I think the simplest way to resolve is give her daughter two christmases too. So open the same amount of presents together and then your son toddles off to his mums and her daughter can open the rest of her presents.

So your partner wants your son to have half the amount of presents on Christmas Day as her daughter because he will also get more at his mums house?

but her daughter won’t be at your sons mums house and she won’t know about his other Christmas or other presents surely?

So you're alternating Christmas for your son with your ex? Presumably the idea is that he has a full Christmas experience at whichever house he is at for that year.

It's very sad to think of him getting half. If your wife's ex was on the scene, would she reduce the presents for her daughter by half?

Both children should get the same amount of gifts from you. Your son getting gifts from his other parent shouldn’t mean he gets less from you. You can’t create absolute equality between the children across their entire families and lives, you can only treat them fairly in terms of your own actions. Your step daughter can be supported through the burden of having an absent father without your son having to be artificially treated with less generosity by you.

Essentially that is exactly how she’s thinking and your quite correct none of us will be at his mothers because it simply isn’t relavent

Exactly my thoughts
thank you

Quite agree
thank you

We always gave our children a stocking from father Christmas and then family presents. Can't you give both children a stocking from father Christmas on Christmas morning , son's mum can contribute to this if she wants and pass you Then family presents later