At what point did rudeness become so acceptable?

[OddBallNumber5]

This is a question I’ve been mulling over for a long time but particularly in the last year or so. Why is it that some people’s rudeness/bluntness/passive aggression is allowed because ‘oh that’s just how Sharon is, she’s hot headed’ or ‘yeah Simon has always been blunt, just how he is.’

I’m sick of people’s rudeness, see above, being enabled by those around us and them because ‘that’s how they are.’ I’m always considerate with how I speak and always try and think about how a phrase or message will land. I’ve had a situation recently where someone has been obviously rude to me but is now trying to back pedal and say they weren’t being rude or aggressive, like I’ve obviously imagined it. Just sick of people thinking they can excuse their poor behaviour by using their personality traits as an excuse.

Hard to know without examples whether you are quite sensitive or whether people are speaking rudely. I don't find most people to be rude, although many are. And I also think generally some rudeness I might see/hear/experience is often more circumstantial rather than just a person who is always that way.

I don't know anyone like this tbh.

I keep reading posts like this, and it genuinely puzzles me. I must be exceptionally lucky because I'm really not seeing any rudeness.
Don't get me wrong, I know there are rude, yobbish people about, but it's not a new thing. There have been people like this since my childhood and I'm 50. I don't have anything to do with people like this.
Nearly everyone I meet is friendly and polite, some are just neutral (not overly friendly but not rude either).
I'm trying to remember the last time someone was rude to me. I think it was about three years ago when I went to a shop to return a parcel. The shop owner was so unhelpful and rude that it was comical. I actually laughed about it. But that's one instance of rudeness in many years.

Fuck off 😂

OK, sorry I couldn’t resist. I’m old and I feel it’s the opposite. Public facing people in retail etc were far ruder when I was young.

It all seems very customer focused to me now.

Your post is too generalised - we need the details of the actual situation that prompted you to write this post in order to make a judgement.

I don't suffer fools gladly and my face says it, even if I verbally don't!
I'm direct and will say it how it is but have had people say I'm rude.
I don't really understand why it us rude to just be bluntly clear on my perspective. I don't swear or attack. Therefore I've surmised it really is a you problem 😆 (not personally you OP).

I think it’s become less acceptable to be rude, not more. Racist, sexist and hateful comments about disability was completely acceptable and shrugged off as jokes until really 20 years ago. Customer service wasn’t really a thing for normal level companies.

it got worse over covid, but still reckon the level is better than it was in the 90s/early 00s.

are you perhaps now on the receiving end?

or perhaps you have had to lower the price point of the companies you are using and just assumed the excellent customer service you were getting from premium companies was the norm. Or maybe you are mixing with nastier people than you used to.

I think I need to be more like fraggy and not suffer fools as much.

With regards to racism and sexism, I actually think we've gone backwards in the last few years. I'm really shocked by things I've heard said about other races and religions in the last few years. I've heard things said openly that would have been quite shocking in the 90s and early 2000s. There's been a massive increase in xenophobia since Brexit.
The same goes for sexism. I remember in the past men might "joke" about a woman's place being in the kitchen. Now I hear the most shocking, violent mysogyny being spouted, all the time.

OMG...whilst I'm direct I'd NEVER be discriminatory or not inclusive . Part of why I get in such shit with people is because I challenge them!

I think it’s context dependent

pushing to the front of the coffee shop because you’re running late so you think it’s totally fine inconvenience everyone else, and when challenged you’re rude - Yep they are the A-hole.

In the office you’re not picking up on my body language that I’m busy/focussed* and I don’t really care about your dog’s cute new jumper and now my AirPods are in and I’m radiating pas-ag fuck off vibes or I just tersely say “do you mind not being so chatty please” - You’re the A-hole for being self absorbed.

*for me read way past ND over-stimulation and I’m about 10 seconds from melt down.