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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Friends that lie

21 replies

PerkyOchrePeer · 21/12/2024 07:11

I found a thread on this subject but I couldn't respond and it advised me to make a new thread so here I am

OP posts:
PerkyOchrePeer · 21/12/2024 07:12

How do you put up with friends who lie I've just experienced that and when I asked the person to prove and back up what she was saying she made all sorts of excuses I knew she was lying

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PerkyOchrePeer · 21/12/2024 07:14

Basically I was blocked online so I couldn't message the person so I wrote them a little short couple of paragraphs letter and posted it to the. When they received it they found me to discuss it and then accused me of sending not one letter but two and saying that the one they received before the short one was five pages long and there's no way I sent that I would have remembered and they insisted that I sent this five-page letter so I said what did the five page let us say that I was supposed to have sent you and they made all sorts of excuses and couldn't tell me what was it was a lie I only sent that little short one so I've decided that they're not worthy of my time and so I've told them I want nothing more to do with them m

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StrictlyOnIce · 21/12/2024 07:14

Yeah I think it’s a difficult one OP..

Depends on the gravity /severity of the lie though

a lie to spare someone’s feelings is different from a more severe type of lie

LivelyBiscuit · 21/12/2024 07:15

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StrictlyOnIce · 21/12/2024 07:16

PerkyOchrePeer · 21/12/2024 07:14

Basically I was blocked online so I couldn't message the person so I wrote them a little short couple of paragraphs letter and posted it to the. When they received it they found me to discuss it and then accused me of sending not one letter but two and saying that the one they received before the short one was five pages long and there's no way I sent that I would have remembered and they insisted that I sent this five-page letter so I said what did the five page let us say that I was supposed to have sent you and they made all sorts of excuses and couldn't tell me what was it was a lie I only sent that little short one so I've decided that they're not worthy of my time and so I've told them I want nothing more to do with them m

Yes this example would cross the line I agree - its an accusatory lie

FatsiaJaponicaInTheGarden · 21/12/2024 07:16

Why are you contacting someone that's blocked you?

I think I'd just accept this isn't a friend and let it go. Friends don't block you

LivelyBiscuit · 21/12/2024 07:16

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ueberlin2030 · 21/12/2024 07:17

The minute someone lies to me they're no longer my friend. That might sound harsh to some but I detest lying.

LivelyBiscuit · 21/12/2024 07:17

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TheoriginalMrsDarcy · 21/12/2024 07:17

Depends what they are lying about. If it's a small white lie, then not a major issue.

If they regularly lie, I would probably drop them. No point being friends with one who continuously lie. You never know what's true and what's a lie. Or keep them at arms length and take everything they say with a pinch of salt.

Teanbiscuits33 · 21/12/2024 07:22

Your friend sounds strange, but you sound strange as well, really. The person blocked you, why did you then go and write her a letter? She doesn’t want contact with you. I get that it’s sometimes annoying and frustrating when you can’t get your point across, but if someone sent me a letter after I’d signalled I wanted no further communication with them, I’d think they were harassing me.

If she’s embellishing things to make you sound worse than you are for attention then I don’t know why you’re bothering in the first place anyway - just leave each other alone and get on with your lives.

LivelyBiscuit · 21/12/2024 07:24

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Princessfluffy · 21/12/2024 07:27

Someone who blocks you has already ended the friendship.

Walk away OP.

PerkyOchrePeer · 21/12/2024 07:49

Ive walked away. . She did unblock me but is still nasty so ive walked away. Life is too short for drama

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GeorgeMichaelsCat · 21/12/2024 07:52

If you were blocked I would have said that told you all you need to know. They do not want contact. Why did you pursue it?

curtaintwitcher78 · 21/12/2024 08:12

Watch yourself Martha.

TwirlyPineapple · 21/12/2024 09:19

That isn't your friend. They already blocked you, so not sure why you think it's your choice whether to be friends with her or not!

Possibly she's just creating a story to sound more justified in not wanting anything to do with you. A five page letter sounds worse to others than a short one. But I don't know why she's bothering- the truth of what you did (a letter through her door when she'd blocked you) would be enough for most people to know you're in the wrong.

PerkyOchrePeer · 21/12/2024 09:36

This actually happened to me a few years ago with someone and I tell the person not to contact me anymore and they still did so I blocked their number and then when they found out they were blocked they wrote to me and I never wrote back. 5 years later I find out that they died of a heart attack

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PerkyOchrePeer · 21/12/2024 09:38

Someone saw me who knew that this person and I were friends and said to me oh hello did you know that Richard died I said no when does this and they said five years ago

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Usernamen · 21/12/2024 09:39

ueberlin2030 · 21/12/2024 07:17

The minute someone lies to me they're no longer my friend. That might sound harsh to some but I detest lying.

This.

I have a one strike policy on lying. Grew up with a compulsive liar and the effects have been devastating.

ueberlin2030 · 21/12/2024 09:41

Usernamen · 21/12/2024 09:39

This.

I have a one strike policy on lying. Grew up with a compulsive liar and the effects have been devastating.

I spent a fair bit of time around a liar, who thought she could fool me, and got annoyed when I called it out.

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