To freeze eggs too, as well as embryos? (IVF)

[batchingembryos]

I'm 30. Unexplained secondary infertility. Financially I can do either of the options and wouldn't worry too much about the cost but I do worry about the side effects of drugs or the physical and mental impact of the injections etc.

I want 2-3 more children. I've banked 8 embryos now so should be enough? That's from 3 rounds.
Should I freeze eggs? How many? I tend to get 10-15 per round.

Life is long and who knows if I'll be with my husband in 5-10-15 years (I'm cynical as my parents were very much in love and then divorced years later). For now though the relationship is good. He's kind, loving, supportive, has done all my injections so far, he's a great dad to our DC. We do disagree over some things (his family, or the fact I'd ideally have 4 kids total and he'd rather stop at 2 but will compromise to 3, maybe 4). We do have arguments and the most "separated" we've ever got after an argument is him sleeping on the sofa or saying he'll go to his parents' for the weekend as he wants time apart (but never went). We've been together for a decade.

I meant to clarify - 8 EUPLOID embryos , they have been PGTA tested

I am equally cynical and tbh I think if you have the money, do another couple of rounds. 30 eggs gives you almost 100% chance of a live baby (there’s a calculator online), and a healthy chance at two, and I personally liked the security (I did egg freezing as was single, had boyfriends at the time as it was over a few years who suggested doing embryos and am so glad I didn’t agree!)

Aw that's amazing!! Did you end up using the eggs? All go ok?

You want to freeze eggs because basically you want 4 kids and you're not sure you'll still be with your partner in 5+ years? Does he know this is why you want to freeze eggs rather than embryos?

We've got 8 euploid embryos frozen already.

My husband is aware that I want 3-4 children. From very early days he's known I want babies and lots of them, and that being a mum is more important to me than any man I've ever met is.

He's aware that the reason to freeze eggs when you have a partner is either for the possibility of divorce or partner's death. Presumably he realises divorce is more likely than him dying in the next 5-10 years (no health issues we know of)

I have a friend who got very serious breast cancer and she thinks it could have been the ivf... so please consider that

This sounds very cynical OP. It sounds like you're already writing off your husband and planning a future family without him? And if you did split in 15 years time would you want to go through IVF again at 45?
Anyway, you're young and 8 embryos sounds like a healthy amount. Just consider the mental load of IVF upon you and your partner as well.
Having had 1 successful round of IVF we feel blessed we have our son, but I personally found the whole process exhausting physically and emotionally. It hasn't put us off trying again in future, but I couldn't imagine doing it for multiple children. Take care

Egg freezing is a swindle. The number of eggs that survive the freezing process isn't great and even more are lost in the thawing process. The ivf drs who have been ringing the alarm bells about egg freezing claim that less than 1 in 10 eggs are viable after freezing and thawing, embryos survive both the freezing and thawing processes much better.
Please don't believe the online calculator, nor will any number of eggs will give you anywhere near a 100% chance of a live baby.

I agree it's not likely to be anywhere near a 100% chance of a live baby if you freeze 30 eggs at 30, but nor is it as low as less than 10%.

I was told to think of egg freezing as a 'Plan C'. For the number of eggs I had frozen and the age at which I froze them, the doctor said it was around a 65% chance of a live birth. Now I know that is too low a probability for someone who really wants children, but I'm at best on the fence about having a baby so decided to leave it at that and not have any more rounds.

I’m sorry to hear about your friend. How many rounds did she have? I’ve had one round but I don’t want to have more than three rounds in my life for the same reason as you say. I do believe it’s very tough on one’s body.

Frozen embryos are much more likely to lead to a live birth than frozen eggs. If you’re absolutely sure you want to keep your options open, having some of your eggs fertilised by donor sperm and then frozen would do that.

I froze 10 eggs about 10 years ago. Not a huge number I know but I could only afford 1 round. 15 were collected. 10 were mature enough for freezing. 10 years later all 10 survived defrosting, 9 fertilised and 7 made it to day 5 blasts.
Now I’m not saying everyone should go for egg freezing at all. I agree the stats aren’t good and it really should be an absolute last resort back up. And despite my success with making embryos so far none have resulted in a live birth (2 have resulted in pregnancy however but with early losses).
I also agree embryos freeze much better. But if someone is young enough, has the money, and is aware of the low success rates then there’s no reason not to try. The stats may be low but they’re not as low as you make out for everyone.

This BBC article claims that the success rate of a live birth from frozen eggs is lower than IVF from "fresh" eggs (20-30%) and can be as low as 5%

https://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-68505321&ved=2ahUKEwjg6df5jbqKAxXFX0EAHaTUCRAQFnoECBYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw0qeDPSH0nH4pj_-xpugxWS

Are you quoting this paragraph in the article?

Few patients in the UK have come back to use their frozen eggs, but for those who do, the success rates are slightly lower than IVF using fresh eggs - which is about 20-30% per round depending on age. It could be as low as 5% for people in their 40s, according to HFEA.

You missed out the last bit where it says as low as 5% for people in their 40s. If you have IVF with fresh eggs in your 40s the chances of a live birth are low. If you freeze your eggs in your 40s your chances of a live birth are very low. If you freeze either eggs or embryos in your 20s or early 30s your chances of a live birth are higher. Most pregnancy rates are dependent on the egg age. Not the age of the mother. A 45 year old using a 25 year old egg has a much higher chance of pregnancy and birth than a 40 year old using a 40 year old egg.

If you freeze 30 eggs at 25 your chances of a life birth are much higher than a 42 year old having IVF with fresh eggs.

If you look at donor egg success rates you’ll see a similar success rate across the ages. Because it’s egg age related not the pregnant woman’s age.

@Crushed23 can I ask how many eggs you froze and at what age to give you a 65% chance of a live birth?

@user18368 sorry to hear!! How many rounds did she have?

I don't know OP.. it all sounds a bit much to me. In your OP you state 'We do disagree over some things (his family, or the fact I'd ideally have 4 kids total and he'd rather stop at 2 but will compromise to 3, maybe 4).'

It's not just you, you'd both have 4 children. And mass producing being more important than any man in your life. That man that is much less important, is / will be the children's dad.. i get how hard it is, I've got my IVF DD currently sleeping next to me. But it comes across that you're only with him to have kids. You two were here first, together, before children. That holds some weight. Egg rates aren't great. You say you want lots of babies, they don't stay babies forever and it's a bit distasteful to keep having babies for the sake of having babies.

I don't mean to be unkind and none of what I've written is to offend you, but it just seems a little obsessive and too much. IVF isn't an easy slog. Be grateful for what you have already and if you go on to have a second or third, that's brilliant. But your husband does want to stop at 2, you are basically saying you will split up those children's home and family unit, for the sake of another hypothetical child in the future. Putting that child and your wants over the child(ren) you will already have, for the sake of wanting more babies.

I'm not saying don't go for it at all, I'm just saying go for it with the right reasons and intentions.

Good luck, I hope it works out for you all.

@M340 he's not set on having 2 max the way I am set on having 3+. For him 2 would be ideal but he's happy with 3 and says "we'll manage" with 4. He's a very loving dad and enjoys being one.

Regarding being with him only for kids. Hmm... it's difficult to put into words exactly how I feel but for me I've always wanted to be a mum, it's more important to me than being with any one partner ie if I met a man and he said he can't have children / doesn't want to, I wouldn't be with him when someone else might. In the same way some women are ok to give up their religion to be with a man they love, others aren't, some are happy to move across the world and others wouldn't.
I guess part of it is that I am VERY cynical (can you tell?) and life has taught me not to depend on a partner too much. I believe far more in blood relations than marriages. Yes of course there are adult children who hate / kill / steal from their parents and siblings going no contact with each other, but from my experience I've seen far more cases where one spouse leaves another because he's no longer rich enough for her or she's too ill for him or any other reason.

Oh and when I say I want more babies, perhaps I've phrased it weirdly, but I want more babies who then grow into toddlers, into children, teenagers, adults. I want all of it. If anything, I feel like I'm enjoying DC more and more as they're getting older, more interactive, more interesting to chat to, the way they're thinking etc.

I ended up conceiving naturally at 40 (currently pregnant), but I’m so glad they’re there as a backup option if something went wrong with this one or I wanted another one!

Your figures are out of date and based on a different method of freezing which was used years ago. The vast majority of eggs do survive. It is true they may be slightly harder to fertilise than fresh. But so much is dependent on egg health and mothers age when doing the freezing, those are the variables that really matter. The calculator is based on actual figures coming out of clinics. Granted they are probably low as the vast majority of people don’t end up using them due to being able to conceive naturally. But for those with spare cash and the means to do so it is a good insurance policy vs wondering what could have been if you don’t end up conceiving naturally. Everyone knows fertility is a roll of a dice, but those who are freezing at a good age (35 years or younger) with no known fertility issues should be in with a good chance with a decent number of eggs. It is not even comparable to ivf, when often the couple have actual fertility issues.