To not let my sister bring her own meat on Christmas day!

[FelizNavidadAmiga]

First off, we are a strictly vegan household for moral reasons. I invited my sister for Christmas lunch as she is recently divorced and has nowhere else to go. I usually put on a magnificent spread with roast vegetables, tagine, stuffed peppers, vine leaves, falafel, home made hummus etc. My sister has just sent me a message saying she's going to bring her own chicken to cook. AIBU to say no way! I don't want chicken cooking in my nice clean vegan oven! Plus the smell makes me feel ill 🤢 I don't want to upset her as she's very sensitive at the moment but surely she can do without chicken for 1 day.

No different to the sister refusing to eat what the other sister prepares if she cooks meat for them f invited around!

I always imagine it’s because they feel guilty about eating meat too.

They certainly don’t think about where it comes from

FFS. A gracious guest would eat what they were offered.
And if they didn't like what someone else's family traditionally ate on Xmas day, wouldn't choose to go and eat with them on that day of the year.

YANBU. If she wants to eat chicken that badly, she can do so at her own house, either before or after visiting you. Or in her car. Or somewhere else.

I feel sorry for all the people saying your food wouldn't be 'filling' or 'celebratory' enough for them. It makes them sound very ignorant and small-minded. I note that despite the 'joke' about vegans always telling you they're vegan, a lot more people have popped up here to tell us how much eating meat matters to them.

This thread makes it obvious that self-styled 'carnivores' (surely they mean 'ominovore'?) are far more easily offended than vegan . A lot of people seem to think that you should 'compromise' your principles and moral values to accommodate your sister turning up with either an air-fryer or a pre-cooked dead bird. Please ignore them.

I've lived in lots of places where the kitchen's been entirely veggie/ vegan. The only people I've ever allowed to make an exception (to my current vegan kitchen) have been my elderly parents, when they turned up with their picnic-tupperware-canister of cows' milk to put in their tea. Nobody else would dream of coming here expecting to eat any animal products, never mind cook them in our oven.

I don't tend to transport and serve it on a picnic blanket. That would be messy and stupid. Moving it in the tagine itself is usually more sensible. I also have dishes to serve from.

My vegan relative has been cooking exclusively vegan for decades. Whilst I would never tell her this, the food is awful. Stodgy underflavoured pap with no textural variation. She's had a fuckton of practice. I've eaten vegan at a celebrated vegan restaurant. Awful. She's raved about some of the vegan cook I've cooked. And wanted seconds, which implies she wasn't lying. I didn't enjoy it at all.

Why do you assume anyone is out to gain supporters? Anyway, I will repeat my response to another poster below:

It's not extreme. The hope was to invoke empathy for how many vegans and vegetarians feel about meat contamination. All vertebrate carcasses are physically similar. As a lifelong vegetarian I react to the biological horror of any carcass.

It's only for emotional reasons that you treat human carcasses differently, not because human meat is actually materially different.

Tagine and stuffed peppers are beautiful dishes when cooked correctly, they take hours and have enormous lists of ingredients.

She is being ridiculous. Tell her no.

I totally agree, and I am a hardcore meat eater. I am the first to complain about judgy vegans and I don't think that being vegan is healthy. However, I am also all about respecting people's house rules.

I'm not strictly vegan or vegetarian (although I'm very picky about where I buy meat and never buy pork, chicken, farmed salmon, lobster, crab or turkey) I do a lot of vegetarian and vegan cooking but vegan "alternatives" is not the way to go. The food should be excellent in its own right, not fake meat.

I have a very simple take on this, because it's how I operate 😂.

Family are invited to us for Christmas Day. I cook. I hate turkey. I cook a magnificent beef rib instead, plus starters/pudding/cheese course.

If you don't like the menu on offer then don't come.

I'd be pissed off with someone bringing some turkey to my meal where it would be incongruous with the side dishes/gravy etc.
Plus the fact as I was cooking the main event for multiple people them getting in my way cooking their "special" food. Oven space is often at a premium and timing an issue so I would refuse to let someone make prepping this feast more stressful than already is.

So even without any moral issues around meat eating vs vegan it's suck up the menu on offer of go elsewhere.

In what world is saying no to her wrong?

Asking if she can bring her own milk - not cheeky to ask, and certainly not cheeky to be told no.

As for bringing meat into your house - CF runner-up prize for asking, with 1st price CF award going to her also for asking if she could cook it in YOUR house in YOUR oven!

Ya lots of people are shit at cooking. You need to get out more. 👍🏼

No, you're not being unreasonable at all. I see the supermarkets do vegan 'turkey' crowns with stuffing &'sausages'. Would it be too weird to offer to stick something like that in the oven for her so she feels more Christmassy? And maybe do some roast root vegetables among the other dishes?

YANBU to not want meat cooked in your own oven if you are vegan. It’s not fair on you to have to clean away any meat splashes etc for a start.

But could it be her subtle way of saying she’s not keen on most Middle Eastern style food? Is she the typical British plain food “meat and two veg” type? (like a lot of my relatives 🙄). Would you consider also cooking a Quorn style/fake “chicken” breast type thing for her that she could have with the roast veg to make it a bit closer to a stereotypical British Christmas Dinner, just this once?

Usually I say a guest should absolutely suck it up, especially if it’s only for one meal, but season of good will and all that and since you say she’s having a hard time at the moment.

I think that your menu sounds delicious!

I'm an omnivore. I would eat anything rather than turkey. Turkey is vile.

Nothing wrong with you not wanting meat in your house but to me that's not a Christmas dinner, we can agree to to differ. I love many of those foods but just not with roast vegetables at Christmas. Did you mention when inviting her it was for a vegan meal?

Let me get this straight: the only food that you like is your own lamb tagine. Everything else you've mentioned, you think is shit, including your own plant-based tagine.

Maybe, just maybe, the problem is you? For all your judgement it seems that you can't cook and you have a limited palate.

🤣🤣🤣 nail on the head.

No one is forcing the sister to go and eat Vegan food, she can stay home alone with her chicken!

If someone invites you for dinner you don't generally criticise what they are planning to serve!

"I am the first to complain about judgy vegans and I don't think that being vegan is healthy".

Judgmental as hell, and ignorant.

I enjoy a wide range of food, both home made and eating out. Occasionally a random meal is a bit crap, but most of them are fine, and some are great. Quite a range are fucking fantastic. But despite having vegan relatives, and eating in dedicated vegan restaurants, I have never had a vegan meal that was any better than "sort of edible".

Tbf there isn't much, if anything, there I would be able to eat but still wouldn't expect to cook a chicken in a vegan house. I'd just eat dinner at home early and come round already mostly fed so it didn't matter if I didn't like anything.

What if she just brought one portion of cooked chicken in a tupperware, would that be an acceptable compromise?

Some people just cannot stomach veg. I hate it, no matter how it's cooked. The taste makes me retch. I have one vegetable I actively like. Two I tolerate and 4 that I can eat mixed in with something else that tastes stronger. Even salad vegetables I only actually like cucumber, onion and iceberg lettuce.

Why doesn't respect go both ways? Why do the vegans get to make all the rules and dictate the menu? It would be nice to honour your guest and give her food that she likes, as you would expect her to do if you were the visitors.