Is it aggressive to end a question with "or not"?

[scalt]

"Are you coming, or not?"
"Are you going to support my cause, or not?"
"Do you like Christmas, or not?"
"Do you believe in Santa, or not?"

To me, sticking "or not" on the end of a question quite strongly implies aggression, or demanding an answer RIGHT NOW. I know somebody who does this in conversation all the time, probably innocently, with questions such as "did you go to the shops, or not?" "Did you win your game, or not?" To me, the "or not" is redundant, and sounds like aggression, and implies that only a binary yes/no is wanted, and nothing more, and certainly not a longer answer.

YANBU - "or not" is aggressive
YABU - "or not" is not aggressive

That's ok, @GothicCrackdown - I'm on Mumsnet to avoid all the many pre-Christmas tasks I should be tackling.

I had myself used "or not" this very morning while DD (19) oscillated between joining us on a shopping excursion or visiting a mate, so I was very firmly in the "piss or get off the pot" mode, as my Dad used to say.

You know the sort of thing - "You've had your options, you've said yes then no then yes, so make your dratted mind up because we're leaving NOW"

@Isittimeformynapyet It's times like this when I wish I could go back to my 5 year old self but with my adult mind and say, "oh, are you offering it? Then you should say would you like cucumber, not do you like cucumber." And just stare her down.* *