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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

When did people turn into wolves?

76 replies

MillyVannily · 20/12/2024 15:29

I live in a nice neighbourhood in the outskirts of London ... in recent months I started going on walks around to improve my fitness. OMG ... people are grumpy, stare away, God forbid it's someone I know they barely open their mouth to mumble hi. Today I saw my neighbour that literally was hiding behind her car so she doesnt say hi (we dont have a bad relationship). What's wrong with people?!?! I know times are tough and people have problems but it's just not normal to have this sort of hostile looking face while on the street! It's Christmas coming ffs aren't people in festive mood?

Is anyone noticing this or it's just my luck?

I may need to move away from London. I remember when I lived in Warwickshire people were much nicer. 🤣

OP posts:
404ErrorCode · 20/12/2024 15:32

It's Christmas coming ffs aren't people in festive mood?

YANBU, but Christmas acts as an amplifier- if you are already lonely or unhappy, it exacerbates it.

I also noticed a few miserable looking people today when I attempted to smile at them, so you are not alone in seeing it.

Tessasanderson · 20/12/2024 15:37

Just for balance i go out for plenty of walks (With my dogs). I am happy to give a simple hello or good morning but not anything more. I am trying to keep to a time before i start work and trying, like you to make the most of the walk for fitness purposes. Its dark, early morning and i find it brilliant time to have time to think to myself. If someone i know happens to be on the same walk i would come across pretty grumpy because they would get a hello and then see the back of my head as i walk away.

Not being nasty to anyone, just dont wish to chat.

Ohthatsabitshit · 20/12/2024 15:41

I have the opposite problem. Every sod wants to stop for a chat. Yes you are all lovely, but sometimes I genuinely don’t have time…
I love it really.

UmbrellaEllaEllaElla · 20/12/2024 15:43

I think most people often look miserable but I can't tell if it's just a resting automatic face.

ComtesseDeSpair · 20/12/2024 15:45

I’ve lived in London for most of my adult life and it’s always been a mixed bag, though I don’t tend to expect more than a semi-smile or a quick “hi” from neighbours as we pass, and don’t think others do, either. I also suspect that what you’re reading as “hostility” is just resting bitch face and people being a bit preoccupied inside their own heads about something else rather than malevolence at the sight of you.

Spaceid · 20/12/2024 15:49

Maybe it’s a suburbs thing? I’m in London and every bugger wants to say hi or stop for a chat!

Lentilweaver · 20/12/2024 15:50

This being MN, most posters will defend your miserable neighbour.

Balancedcitizen101 · 20/12/2024 15:56

In an ideal world we would all be friendly in the street. I wouldn't read too much into these encounters. My default face does not look very happy but in reality I am ok/neutral. I think society is more down now than maybe 10-20 years ago. Political divides / racism / personal economic struggles, glass half empty, online rants. Don't take it too personally.

Conkersinautumn · 20/12/2024 15:57

I grew up near London and moved to Wawickshire. At first, yes, it was friendlier. Since covid not so much

Lentilweaver · 20/12/2024 15:57

Actually, I have a terrible resting bitch face in my fifties. Maybe it's that. I do say hi and smile to all my neighbours though.

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/12/2024 15:58

I live in a small town (roughly 8000 population) in East Yorkshire. It's an absolute LAW here (and everyone obeys it) that you greet anyone you meet when out and about.

ItGhoul · 20/12/2024 15:59

'Hostile looking face'?!

OP, what are you expecting? That everyone walks around with a permanent grin on their face? People are literally just being normal. How do you know your neighbour was 'hiding' from you FFS?

ObtuseMoose · 20/12/2024 16:00

Where do wolves fit into this?

Biroclicker · 20/12/2024 16:01

Maybe you're really annoying?

CandyCane457 · 20/12/2024 16:06

I’ve experienced the opposite this afternoon- couldn’t find any chambord in Tesco so asked a man who was working there, he said “Oo I’m not fully sure but let me find out for you” and straight away a customer jumped in and said “I know where it is love, I bought some the other day, let me show you!” The man working there smiled and made a joke thanking her for doing his job, she led me to the chambord and when I picked it up and thanked her profusely, another man chimed in with “what do you do with that, I’ve always wondered?” Told him it’s for my mum to pop in some prosseco and he seemed thrilled with this and picked up some for himself too. Everyone smiled and walked away happily with a little stranger interaction. This in Manchester!

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 20/12/2024 16:06

Why Wolves? They're highly sociable animals?

You'd have been better off going for hamsters, they'll rip each others heads off if they get too close to each other.

NormanBateslonglosttwin · 20/12/2024 16:23

I was wondering what wolves have to do with this thread, I like wolves actually, just don't like people mostly.

DarkAether · 20/12/2024 16:26

Ohthatsabitshit · 20/12/2024 15:41

I have the opposite problem. Every sod wants to stop for a chat. Yes you are all lovely, but sometimes I genuinely don’t have time…
I love it really.

this basically

people used to say they miss the community etc but back in the day less tech, not as busy at times, more times for chatting etc now today with this that ect it all adds up

AnyoneSomeone · 20/12/2024 16:29

They must all be mumsnetters.

NewGreenDuck · 20/12/2024 17:02

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/12/2024 15:58

I live in a small town (roughly 8000 population) in East Yorkshire. It's an absolute LAW here (and everyone obeys it) that you greet anyone you meet when out and about.

I live in East Yorkshire. I absolutely agree! I'm actually from Wiltshire, the same used to apply there.

GooseberryBeret · 20/12/2024 17:49

I obviously didn’t see the faces in question so couldn’t say for sure if they were actually ‘hostile’ but my first instinct was to say YABU for being the facial expressions police.
And for lots of people the run up to Christmas is a stressful time with normal responsibilities for work etc and a whole load of other stuff to organise on top - even if they enjoy Christmas itself. Add to that all the people who don’t have a great time over Christmas because of bereavement, difficult relatives etc. It’s lovely that you’re in the festive spirit but you must realise that it’s not universal.

MajorCarolDanvers · 20/12/2024 17:57

There’s lots of parts of the UK where people are (mostly) cheerful and friendly.

Jumpingthruhoops · 20/12/2024 18:04

MillyVannily · 20/12/2024 15:29

I live in a nice neighbourhood in the outskirts of London ... in recent months I started going on walks around to improve my fitness. OMG ... people are grumpy, stare away, God forbid it's someone I know they barely open their mouth to mumble hi. Today I saw my neighbour that literally was hiding behind her car so she doesnt say hi (we dont have a bad relationship). What's wrong with people?!?! I know times are tough and people have problems but it's just not normal to have this sort of hostile looking face while on the street! It's Christmas coming ffs aren't people in festive mood?

Is anyone noticing this or it's just my luck?

I may need to move away from London. I remember when I lived in Warwickshire people were much nicer. 🤣

I think this is a hangover from the pandemic. People became very insular during lockdown and it's stuck.
I'll admit, I've always been very outgoing, will happily talk to anyone, but even I find now that there's certain people I just can't be bothered to talk to and, frankly, wouldn't care if I ever spoke to them again.
But then I saw a really nasty side to a lot of people during Covid... and I can't unsee it.

Scutterbug · 20/12/2024 18:05

Here in Warwickshire we are definitely much more friendly! Come back!

Sinkintotheswamp · 20/12/2024 18:10

VickyEadieofThigh · 20/12/2024 15:58

I live in a small town (roughly 8000 population) in East Yorkshire. It's an absolute LAW here (and everyone obeys it) that you greet anyone you meet when out and about.

I'm 1/4 Yorkshireian always lived down south but will chat to almost anyone on the street.
I worry I'd never get anything done if I actually went to Yorkshire 😳.