My SS gave ame a "think positive" sign

[Tanaria]

AIBU to take this as a massive insult?

For context, I have been royally screwed over at work this year with the client base I'm having to work with (lots of known difficult people, partially out of my field of expertise (no one else to fill the role), but still expected to perform at top level). My boss has had it easy, took all the easy clients on for himself. Yes, I do moan on occsaion, and it's fully justified imo, because I deal with so much shit from my clients every day, but I have accepted the challenge with a view to furthering my career and having a LOT of valuable experience to put on my CV.

We organised a Secret Santa for our department. I know he got me; it wasn't difficult to work out. He got me a Displate-style sign, which, in essence, says "think positive thoughts". Yes, it's related to my role (but the wrong kind of area, it references an area of expertise I'm subbing for until a proper replacement can be found).

I think it's a massive insult that plays on the fact I'm having a shit time at work at the moment. I need the experience to move up to the next level, so I'm staying for now, but I might have stayed on 2-3 years and now I'm considering staying only one and moving on quicker than planned.

AIBU?

YABU - It was just a gift he picked out at random.
YANBU - It was a barbed insult.

Thought you meant step son!!. Hasn't it been a recognition of how hard you work and to keep going?

SS means stepson.
I wouldn't give a secret Santa gift one moment of thought and would immediately bin it

I think you might be over thinking. But that probably means that yes, it is time to move on, if a Secret Santa gift is causing this much angst.

Yes its an insult. Its a way of transferring blame for the outcome (you struggling) of him taking the easy work and you the hard work, from him and onto you.

I got "The Little Book of Calm" from a work kris kindle once. I was known to moan on occasion... I laughed 😅 🤣

Could it not be a recognition that you’ve had some pain in the ass clients? ‘Stay positive, although you’re in a tough position?’ I wouldn’t immediately assume he meant anything negative by it.

Sorry, I've seen SS as Secret Santa few times on here over the years.

No, there was no actual recognition implied. I can't say exactly what it says, because it's related to my work (but generic, because I came across the same thing when I was looking for a secret santa gift for my person). It was just a "stay positive just like a ...." notice.

Even if you are having a shit time at work, how could it be an insult? It's telling you to think positive, not that you're shit. He's being sympathetic. People look for offence at the most mundane things!

Sounds like a wee joke to recognise you’re having a hard time and try to cheer you up. It sounds the opposite of nasty to me.

Moaning doesn’t achieve anything and is unpleasant to listen too, be careful you don’t get a reputation for being negative

Your colleagues are probably having just as shit a time having to work with you. Nothing worse than having to work with a moaner who's touchy as well.

If you moan I’d just take it as the jokey gift it was probably intended to be

I'd say it's acknowledgement that you're having a rough time at the moment. It's meant in solidarity rather than as an insult.

Yeah I mean I have no doubt the moaning is justified but it doesn’t mean people enjoy hearing it any more.

Sorry OP.

I’m guessing a gift with zero thought or agenda behind it .. just picked something up, that looked fairly innocuous. I doubt it personal

Though having read the OP, you might want to take its advice…

I think you are massively overthinking tbh

You are overthinking this

You are massively overthinking and overguarding this. No one on MN has such a top secret job that they can’t say what they got for Secret Santa as a positive affirmation!

You need to react in a way that reframes your boss’s thinking (if you do feel it was meant with malice).
At the moment your reaction seems to be reinforcing any intended malice. Either way you need to be the bigger person and act with grace. Do this and you can be proud of your behaviour. He may be an arsehole he may not, but take it on the chin and you can hold your head up high.

And there's your answer. Generic stuff that comes up when you search for x.

Sounds mor like thoughtless and no effort made rather than a pointed jab.

Basically... google, this will do, add to cart, buy, done.

You are over thinking. (But this is why ‘secret’ Santa’s are a shit idea) people should go to work, do their best, and go home.

Men really aren’t that deep when it comes to stuff like SS!
Don’t overthink it.