Surgery and Christmas visitors

[ballyhoomara]

I've had to have unplanned abdominal surgery - just got out of hospital yesterday evening . It was key hole surgery so though Im still very sore i'll be back on my feet for Christmas. The food is all ordered and DH will clean and get beds ready etc. I've 5 family members due to stay with us for 5 nights from Christmas eve. I'm happy to go ahead with the hosting I'll just cut some catering corners and ask for more help than moral.

AIBU though to ask that they now only come for just 3 nights as I'm still recovering.

I am really surprised they haven’t called and offered to shorten/cancel their stay!

All guests are like fish, they need to be gone after 3 days!

I hope you recover quickly and it’s not all too much.

That would be entirely reasonable. Ask them to muck in too!

You've had abdominal surgery and absolutely need and must rest. The keyhole aspect doesn't mean you don't need to take it easy it simply means you don't have a large incision.

If you want them to come then your DH tells them it's now a three day visit and they will be helping with cooking etc. You will be tucked up in your favourite chair resting.

Definitely ask them to muck in. Despite it being “only” key hole surgery it’s still surgey.

My DH had an angiogram last week. All fine and it was “just” a camera passed through an artery into his heart. He was exhausted and his hand, arm and chest were visibly swollen and bloody sore. He couldn’t even lift a cup of tea, and he’s not a whiner, he usually gets on with it.

<might be a tad annoyed at in-laws>

I'd be expecting them to waIt on me and I'm a rufty tufty type.

Good grief, I’d be on the sofa for the next week doing fuck all. If guests still insisted on coming, I’d be making it clear that I’d be doing no catering, washing up, cleaning, etc.

I can’t believe your guests haven’t been in touch to ask what would be best for you.

I had similar surgery a few days before Christmas one year, and a missed miscarriage a couple of years later, with associated interventions.
It takes some getting over, and because it's not a big wound site the temptation is to try to get on with things more quickly. The gas pain might be the worst thing!
Your family should understand if you aren't able to host overnight guests this year.
Hope you get better soon.