To think sick older siblings shouldn't come to a toddler class?

[Bambooozle]

I take my toddler to a weekly music class. Most people come every week as you can get a slight reduction for block booking.

One dad takes his 3.5 year old DD each week. This week, he came in and said to the class leader 'oh, is it ok if DD's older sister comes as well this week?'.

Class leader said 'of course! Is she on an inset day then?'

Dad says 'no, she can't go to school because she's on a 48 hour exclusion as she was ill yesterday. Looks like DD might be getting it as well!'

Surely I'm not being unreasonable to think that if an older sibling is too ill/infectious to go to school, they can't come to a toddler class to spread it there? I get it's annoying to lose out on what you've paid for the session, and for your younger child to miss out but you just suck it up, right?

The class leader was obviously put in a really awkward position as he asked as they were coming through the door, but am I also being unreasonable to think the class leader should have said 'sorry, an inset day is fine, but too ill for school also means too ill for this class'?

YADNBU - so close to Xmas too!

He should have stayed at home AND the teacher should have said something.

Absolutely YANBU

The leader should have told them “no”.

Who on earth thinks this is ok? The rest of the group should have walked out if the leader was so weak as to allow this.

Of course YANBU, the leader should have firmly told him to take his poorly and maybe poorly kid home. Selfish idiot.

What a selfish prick

The class leader should have said sorry no - inset day fine.

who thinks its fine to take a sick child anywhere in the 48 hour period. Its rubbish to miss stuff and be stuck at home the whole time but why make others sick

Should have been very clearly told no.

If she is not well enough to be at school, then she needs to be at home getting better and staying away from other people.

No you don't and the leader should have said something.

No, that’s awful. Class leader definitely should have said no also.

I think being close to Christmas definitely makes it worse but it's wrong any time really.

I do feel a bit weak for not saying anything myself so maybe I shouldn't blame the class leader. I was wondering whether to stay or not but as we were already there and settled I know DC would have been really disappointed if we'd left.

It depends on why they could not go to school. My DD is lactose intolerant. Whenever she dairy, she gets a sore tummy and sometimes vomits. That means every time she has chocolate for something from another child, she gets unwell and is excluded from school for two days. I have taken her to my hospital where I work on days that she is excluded as she is not contagious. School says they understand the predicament however policy is policy.

Most organised baby / toddler music classes will have a policy on illness when you sign up to classes. Eg Jo Jingles have a line in their Ts&Cs “In the instance of sickness and/or diarrhoea your child must have been clear of all symptoms for at least 48 hours before attending a class.”
The teacher was obviously caught on the hop and this was possibly even the first time it had happened etc I can see how it may have been difficult to create conflict with the Dad. But really the class leader should know the policy and should be happy to enforce it.
I’m just imagining what the class leader would do if the selfish Dad had been told it was policy to not bring sick children to class… but then replied that the child was fine and he was staying 😅
The Dad sounds so thoughtless and selfish.

Is he for real? If the child has to stay off school for 48 hours incase still infectious why on earth would he think it’s ok to bring said child to mix with a group of much younger children?! The mind boggles.

the group leader should have said no as they also gave the same policy for the group and he should have taken both kids home

This makes me so cross.
To knowingly take a sick child is wrong, they certainly won’t feel well and it is just spreading germs.
It’s not only the immediate family that suffer, but anyone they visit, including the vulnerable. The Teacher/ instructor should have sent him home.

Thing is he said toddler may be coming down with it as well so not related to an allergy

I don't think anyone should attend a baby class if they're ill!

I’m emetophobic and this would have sent me spiralling into a panic. It’s completely irresponsible behaviour and I would have made that known and left immediately. My child would be upset, but they’d be more upset being sick at Christmas.

The class leader should definitely have said no. There's no awkwardness about it - too sick for school is too sick to be mixing with any other children.
I have worked as a TA in a few different schools and I have noticed parents are increasingly becoming arseholes about things like the 48 hour rule. I guess people are becoming more self centred and thinking about how things affect them not other people.

depends how enclosed the space is. if it’s big and spacious and the kids won’t be too close to the older sibling then should be fine. it’s different to being in a classroom where the sibling would be in closer contact with others.

Are any of you ill?

As someone who runs a toddler groups I’d have asked them to leave and quoted
my t&cs. It’s rubbish to miss a class you’ve paid for but it happens and is part of having young children. I kept my own away from his groups and nursery in the week before Christmas due to conjunctivitis. Nursery and NhS say fine to mix as normal but couldn’t imagine any other parents would have thanked me for passing that on so close to Christmas!

I would have been fuming and said something there and then. However, not everyone has the confidence to do so. It’s important you now mention to the class leader that in future you expect them to turn ill/sick children away from the session.

Bloody hell this is shocking! The leader should have taken dad outside to explain he had to leave, if she didn't want to have that conversation in front of everyone.

We once had a person working in our home, they had a set of keys and I came home with our baby to find their child sat on our sofa (school day) .. person said oh yeah they've had D&V and can't go back to school for 48 hours. You can guess how that ended 😡 some people are honestly just beyond fucking words.

Hope none of you got ill OP.

I’ve been with three different chains of toddler classes and there has always been a strict, unyielding “no siblings unless sibling is a registered paid class attendee” rule. The father was cheeky but the leader is 100% at fault here. It was up to the leader to say no.

I used to run a toddler group and it was policy to turn away those who brought poorly older siblings. You’d be amazed how many people bring them along though!