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Original poster

Baby keeps coming home covered in food

38 replies

HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 20:37

My 10 month old baby keeps coming home from her fathers covered in food

Before anyone starts I understand that babys and kids get messy/dirty.

What is really frustrating me is I pack about 3 bibs, 2 of which are food bibs, so they are bigger and waterproof/silicone.

The food bibs are CLEARLY not being used. As the stains on my baby's clothes are right on her chest area where the bib would be covering.

I've already brought this up a few times with her father and he laughs it off & says sorry. He says he feeds the baby on his lap as he doesn't have a high chair at his. I've suggested he sits her on the floor and sits on the floor with her and feed her (not on carpet obviously)

The food stains are not coming out of her clothes no matter what I use in the washing machine. It's so frustrating, baby clothes aren't cheap anymore!

It's got to the point that I might start sending her to his house in an old/already stained baby grow

OP posts:
Avaricii · 19/12/2024 20:39

Send her to his in stained clothes. If he wants to dress he'd unstained he can buy some clothes. Why not?
You can't control other behaviour. You can only control your reaction to it.

verycloakanddaggers · 19/12/2024 20:40

Yes, just reuse the stained ones.

This is a bit annoying but isn't going to harm her so let it go.

Mollzzie · 19/12/2024 20:40

Send her in the clothes he had ruined and tell him why you're not packing anything else.

CitiesInDust · 19/12/2024 20:41

Orange stains come out really well in sunlight. Even on a windowsill will do it.

That’s not answering your question, I realise though.

GreenLadybug · 19/12/2024 20:41

Is she covered in food or clothes just stained? Just buy cheap tops to send her to dad's in and send the same ones every time. I couldn't get overly fussed by this, they soon pull bibs off anyway

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 20:42

CitiesInDust · 19/12/2024 20:41

Orange stains come out really well in sunlight. Even on a windowsill will do it.

That’s not answering your question, I realise though.

This is actually useful to know, thankyou

OP posts:
Flossyflop · 19/12/2024 20:42

Definitely send her in the stained clothes, treat him like nursery and don’t send in her best clothes, buy second hand clothes of Vinted just for dad’s house.

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 20:42

GreenLadybug · 19/12/2024 20:41

Is she covered in food or clothes just stained? Just buy cheap tops to send her to dad's in and send the same ones every time. I couldn't get overly fussed by this, they soon pull bibs off anyway

Edited

Clothes just stained, I should of made that abit more clear

Her face is clean so he's obviously wiping her clean

It's just the clothes all stained

OP posts:
batsandeggs · 19/12/2024 20:44

Send baby in rubbish clothes. It’s really not a big deal. Do try to help him with a high chair or somewhere safe to feed baby though.

GreenLadybug · 19/12/2024 20:45

HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 20:42

Clothes just stained, I should of made that abit more clear

Her face is clean so he's obviously wiping her clean

It's just the clothes all stained

Show quote history

She's clean, he's looking after her, focus on the positives, she will grow out of the clothes in no time anyway, and in the future only buy cheap / second hand for sending to his / suggest he buys her some clothes

jannier · 19/12/2024 20:48

Have you tried soaking in a sterilising solution?
Echo others use old tops

FutureFry · 19/12/2024 20:49

I've got to admit, I find bibs a total faff and my 12 month old always rips them off right away (has done since we started weaning), so I don't use them either.

She gets messy. I don't think it's a big deal TBH, as long as she's clean and her clothes are clean when she's going out, or going for a sleep.

oakleaffy · 19/12/2024 20:53

@HazelBalonz If her clothes are white, Bio Tex or Vanish is really good.

However DO NOT soak coloured clothes in “vanish “ for whites.
It bleaches them out.

I think you can get vanish for coloured clothes.

I understand your frustration , food spilled on a baby looks squalid.

Your husband is being unreasonable and stubborn not to use bibs you provide!

Lemonadeand · 19/12/2024 21:12

FutureFry · 19/12/2024 20:49

I've got to admit, I find bibs a total faff and my 12 month old always rips them off right away (has done since we started weaning), so I don't use them either.

She gets messy. I don't think it's a big deal TBH, as long as she's clean and her clothes are clean when she's going out, or going for a sleep.

This was us, too. Both grandmothers were horrified. I figured their clothes get a bit stained: so what? They grow out of them very quickly anyway. We got them second hand in the first place. Why does it matter?

Itsfreezingbutpretty · 19/12/2024 21:17

I dressed DC in orange tops when I could find them at that age. bit annoying he’s not even trying but I guess you have to choose your battles.

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 21:32

Thanks everyone, makes sense to just dress her in clothes I'm not to bothered about, or the already stained clothes when she goes to her dad's

No doubt I'll have his family making comments about how I've dressed her tho

OP posts:
Endofyear · 19/12/2024 22:18

Why doesn't he just buy a high chair?

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 23:25

Endofyear · 19/12/2024 22:18

Why doesn't he just buy a high chair?

That would be the best idea lol

OP posts:
redastherose · 20/12/2024 00:02

My eldest used to be looked after by my exH's aunt while we both worked. She did us a massive favour doing so but wouldn't use the bibs in her changing bag. I couldn't complain so she was sent in the already stained clothes. I occasionally got comments about only sending her in stained old clothes but I wasn't going to waste anymore new clothes.

Original poster
HazelBalonz · 20/12/2024 00:11

redastherose · 20/12/2024 00:02

My eldest used to be looked after by my exH's aunt while we both worked. She did us a massive favour doing so but wouldn't use the bibs in her changing bag. I couldn't complain so she was sent in the already stained clothes. I occasionally got comments about only sending her in stained old clothes but I wasn't going to waste anymore new clothes.

This is exactly what I'm going to start doing, and I already know I will get comments made about it aswell like you did

OP posts:
RabbitsEatPancakes · 20/12/2024 00:12

I would be much more annoyed abou this feeding her on his lap.

He needs a high chair.
And I'd just send her in the stained clothes. Actually I'd be changing her and handing the dirty clothes back to him to wash. Maybe sens him a link to a full sleeved bib, he can buy and keep at his. Like a bibado or something.

DreamTheMoors · 20/12/2024 00:44

HazelBalonz · 19/12/2024 21:32

Thanks everyone, makes sense to just dress her in clothes I'm not to bothered about, or the already stained clothes when she goes to her dad's

No doubt I'll have his family making comments about how I've dressed her tho

You don’t have to justify yourself to anyone.

Stop caring what other people think about your life and your actions and your words. In particular, your ex’s family. They have absolutely no bearing on the life you lead.

If they’re so petty that they’d comment on the clothes that your EX stained, f—k’em. Listen to the positive people in your life.
Positivity brings joy and happiness and sunlight into your life.
What does negativity bring? Nothing but tears and self-doubt and remorse.
You’re a darn sight better than that, I just know it.
Keep being the good mum everybody knows you to be.
Let them wallow in pettiness and guff and smallness.
You’ll always be the better person, won’t you.
Yessirree.

Berthatydfil · 20/12/2024 00:54

Vanish bar or fairy green soap (probably any hard non cosmetic hand soap) rubbed in hard over the dampened stained areas is good for lifting stains.
Agree that you should just send her in stained clean outfits for the forseeable. If you get comments about it just say - you dont use a bib so what do you expect me to do buy a new outfit every time she comes to you?

Charliecatpaws · 20/12/2024 00:56

Buy him a high chair off DD as his Christmas present?
Ace gentle bleach is very good on stains but usually new stains on the first wash.
I feel your pain OP my ex was totally useless too

MathsMum3 · 20/12/2024 01:15

First point: For sure, send you daughter in old/stained clothes. She's only 10 months old so definitely won't care, and your ExDP doesn't seem to mind also, so not a problem for anyone.

Second point: Does he keep spare clothes for your DD at his place? A bit of food on a babygrow not a problem, but what happens when she has a poo tsumani? Does he change her clothes then? A bit gross if not. Surely he should be responsible for some of her laundry and have spare clothes for those inevitable accidents? In which case, he could also launder her food-stained clothes.