To feed my four year old?

[fedupfedupfedup24]

I thought he’d have grown out of this by now but it seems not. I know it’s unreasonable but I don’t think there is a way to stop it.

If you don’t he will eat himself but only small amounts which I guess stop him feeling hungry but don’t fill him at all and leads to huge waste of food. When you feed him he does eat it so I think he does want it.

He doesn’t snack so that’s not it and only drinks water or milk, not much milk.

It is embarrassing as he gets older. But I think I have to carry on.

If you can, I would strongly avoid this or at least, avoid doing it entirely. I do sympathise - DS took a bit longer to be willing to feed himself and I definitely fed him for lolnger than I would have liked. But i tried to create a mix of feeding him, encouraging him and, sometimes, accepting he wouldn't eat that much but would then be that much more hungry at the next meal.

Thanks. I’m not convinced he really recognises hunger and I’m worried that will lead to a decline in behaviour and selfishly sleep.

What feeding I DID do was often at night... to ensure sleep. So I do feel your pain. But I'd feed him only enough to feel he'd got enough, and I tried to limit it, didn't do it from the start, and didn't for every meal.

I think if you’re doing this every now and again as a last resort it’s a means to an end but I wouldn’t be doing it daily.

I think it’s more common than acknowledged though. A lot of small kids are such bad eaters. I try to get mine to high cal things like avocado and full fat yoghurt just so at least they are getting some protein and calories in.

Will he eat more over a day if you give him several snack meals rather than 3 main meals?
So breakfast, peice of fruit in the way to school, snack on the way home from school, dinner and then snack before bed?

If he doesn't really recognise hunger, does he recognise other internal feelings such as needing the toilet, feeling hot or cold, feeling sleepy, etc? My child has sensory problems particularly with interoception (the ability to recognise the body's internal signals that say "I'm hot, I should take a jumper off" or "I'm hungry, I should eat something") and I fed her like this until she was about seven - otherwise as you say, it affects behaviour and sleep!

By continuing to feed him yourself you are just prolonging any under lying issue.

I do think he has some sensory problems in this respect. Toilet training took a looooong time.

Yes my autistic child is like this. He has a very limited diet and isn’t especially interested in food. However, we don’t physically feed him. Just remind him to eat and give him praise/rewards for doing so.

In the interest of school readiness, I think you need to work towards him understanding that meal times are for eating and doing it himself.

He does eat fine at nursery, I think because they’re all doing it. He isn’t a fussy eater either.

This is way way more common than anyone wants to admit. I’ve just had to take stand with my 4 yo (aug born and just started reception). She used to feed herself but when her baby sibling started weaning she wanted feeding for the attention, and as mealtimes were stressful, I did it. Then she refused to eat herself. We had to get really tough and it wasn’t pleasant and we still have big issues at mealtimes but she does feed herself now. Speaking to other school mums a few of them have the same problem. It’s hard because really they just want that comfort and connection/ attention and when that’s removed they get upset as feeding themselves becomes ‘a demand’.

I suspect the small amount of food your child eats themselves is enough for them. My DD has always eaten what most would think are small portions but she is a normal size and growing normally, so all is well. I understand the worry that they’re not eating enough but I think it’s rare for a child to not eat when hungry (or not know when they’re hungry).