Unhelpful help: AIBU?

[weebitbonkers]

I'm getting my accounts together to give to my accountant. There are a lot of bits of paper and I'm running short of paperclips, staples and folders to sort everything into.

My DP of 23 years is going into town to pick up something for himself and will be within 100m of a stationery shop, so I asked if he'd nip in there for me. I gave him a list of items I need: large and medium silver paperclips (examples clipped to the list), staples (sample stapled to the list), a pack of 25 transparent L-shaped plastic folders (I've shown him an example), a box of large rubber bands and a large roll of Sellotape.

Instead of doing it willingly I've just had to endure 15 minutes of 'You don't need any of this, it's ridiculous, I've got everything you need in my study.' He stomped off with a huge sigh and returned several minutes later with a dozen multi-coloured plastic paperclips, some of them twisted and broken, some brown cardboard folders and a near-empty stapler. I explained calmly that I probably need at least 50 staples and 50 paperclips and that anything left over can be used next year or the year after. I also explain that I like to use transparent folders so that I and the accountant can see which file is my self-employed earnings, my bank statements, my PAYE and pension info or interest statements... I've been doing this for 30 years, I know what works.

Instead of giving in gracefully he kept up the argument that I didn't need any stationery. So eventually I said 'Okay, don't worry, I'll go into town later and pick up what I need.' At which point he started the 'Oh, don't do that martyr act on me, you're always getting at me, whatever I do is wrong.' Which really isn't true at all. He's finally gone off with a 'I'll see what I can find, but I'm not spending hours in there looking for your stuff.'

Is this familiar behaviour to anyone? He doesn't do it often but this has happened before. I pick up stuff for him all the time without any fuss but this has clearly thrown him.He's going to the bike shop to buy himself a Christmas present: a bike pannier that costs the best part of £200. Why is he making such a fuss about walking 100m up the road to buy £20 of stationery for me?

This whole post made me smile. It's so diverse.i agree with the fact that it was petty on both sides. I learnt something too as I always put each months paperwork in plastic folders. I find scanning and filing receipts and invoices on the computer totally confusing. I can never find them again.

If my stationery requests were so specific I’d go and get them myself tbh. I’d happily ask someone to pick up some paper clips or staples but if I was so particular that I needed to attach samples to the list it’s a job I need to do myself. Life is too short for me to hunt for exact stationery items, I’d not expect someone else to do it for me.

@MintShaker jusy because you think you and other accountants don’t need these items doesn’t mean others don’t. You sound petty, asking other accountants on their opinions about staples and what not

@MintShaker

bit of a nasty post, and why on earth would you be so sad as to send the ops shopping list to others?

The op does what works for her, ok it doesn’t work for you, but please, what an over reaction from you to her post

Selfish twat.
Stop doing stuff for him.
He is a lazy aelfish man that is quite happy for you to help him, but doesn't care enough about you to reciprocate.

Your relationship bar is really low if this is all you think you deserve in a relationship.

He sounds like a selfish twat.

How was Christmas?

let me guess, you've had to be a listening ear to his rambling and decision making despite not giving a flying fuck about bike panniers?

I hope if he showed you the final purchase today you didn't put any effort into admiring it and just said "Oh. Right...."

I can't believe that some sad sack has actually gone around contacting their accountant friends for a vox pop of what stationery they use, ffs, but even if they did they are clearly missing the point, which is that the actual items are irrelevant - you asked him to get a few comparatively straightforward and easy items and he first decide he knew better than you and tried to argue about your need for them, then decided he couldn't be arsed. Despite you presumably doing a lot to help him out if he's 24 and still living at home.

@latetothefisting do you think OP was writing about a 24yr old son? It's her boyfriend.

I think you are indeed a wee bit bonkers. That’s kind of nutty behaviour. I’m inclined to believe him I’m afraid. You do sound quite difficult and highly particular. Reminiscent of ASD behaviour