Feel sick with stress, incident at traffic lights with man in a van

[H1900]

I am shaking. I was just driving home from the supermarket and noticed this van driving very close behind me. It was making me really uncomfortable and I sped up slightly to get away from them but didn’t want to speed. There was a set of traffic lights ahead and they started to turn red as someone pressed the crossing and I panicked as I didn’t want to stop with the van so close behind me so I carried on going. I went through and they were absolutely definitely on red. Will I now get a fine? Does anyone know if I will lose my licence? I can see conflicting information online. I’m a lone parent and feel incredibly worried as I have no support to take dd to activities etc

Or it just winds them up even more. What if the OP was already driving well under the speed limit?
Best to ignore or safely pull over and let them pass. It’s not a competition

I heard in a video from a driving instructor that traffic lights with cameras have extra horizontal markings similar to these beyond the white line but not sure if that’s definitely accurate

Do you think you should be driving? If you get so anxious you go through a red light because you can’t cope with a van coming close behind you. Perhaps you need to see a doctor. To be honest going through a red light because you suffer with anxiety is putting other peoples life’s at risk.

I just completed a Speed Awareness Course this week and there was a whole section on managing emotions when driving, including what to do when being tailgated. The advice was to never speed up in response, but maintain your speed at whatever is safe for the conditions within the speed limit, and allow them to overtake you by opening up a gap in front or pulling over if safe. The advice also was to avoid driving if you aren't in control of your emotions, or learn ways to manage if triggered during driving.
While I didn't enjoy getting the letter from the Police for my speeding offence, it wasn't catastrophic and I did benefit by learning some new things from the course. The condition is that if I commit another driving offence for another 3 years it's automatic points or court.

But tgere was someone around. The poor person who was trying to cross tbe road. She says someone had pressed the button to cross but she still thought it a good idea to carry on going through a red light.

Did the van also go througth the light after you, @H1900 ?

I do agree with this. If you went through the red light by accident I could sympathise but it seems you intentionally went through the red lights and even saw them turn red before you went through them…. All to ‘get away’ from another driver. Yes the man in a van was being a prick but why would you intentionally go through a red light to get away from him. It is an overreaction to someone who wasn’t even being aggressive or threatening and what you did is so dangerous - it was a crossing and someone had pressed the button, they could have been stepping out onto the road and you could have knocked them down.

You won't be in trouble. But you absolutely have to stop at red lights on pedestrian crossings, you could have killed someone. I am an anxious driver myself so I understand up to a point, but if you're so anxious that you're putting people in danger because of it you need to stop driving until it's sorted out.

Usually I would pull over, let them pass and carry on. There was nowhere to do this. I didn’t just ‘decide’ to go through the red light, the van was getting closer and closer (presumably to try and make the lights) and I panicked that he was going to hit me so in that split second I carried on.

There’s really no need to reiterate that I shouldn’t have gone through it on red, I am aware of that.

There are lots of people who are unable to drive due to medical conditions. If your anxiety is that bad you are putting others in danger you shouldn't be driving

I appreciate it was a split second decision but if he was going to hit you, then he would be at fault in any accident claim.

I think you got away with one today, and you do deserve the points and a fine, if they happen to come your way.

Agree with other posters suggesting you shouldn’t be driving. “But I got a fright and panicked, I know I shouldn’t have done it” makes no difference if you’re sitting in the dock on a dangerous driving charge one day.

Sort out some help for your mental health and consider whether you should be in charge of 1500kg of moving metal.

This is bad, dangerous advice.

You'll get away with it. Your worry on this is very disproportionate.
From another perspective, speaking as a pedestrian, drivers do this all the time and it's fucking scary. You can't trust that you're safe to cross the road anymore as it's so frequent. I tell the kids never to cross on a green man until the cars in each lane have definitely stopped.

It's done now, move on with your day.

I believe the recommendation if someone is driving far too close behind you is to slow right down. Then if there is an accident, it's a slow one. Highly likely they will just overtake you if they can. Alternatively as you point out, pull over and let them pass if you can do so safely.

As you say the most dangerous thing to do is speed up.

Slowing down also has the added advantage of really pissing them off. 😬

As an aside from the thread. I had the magnesium citrate from Solgar, they were good, but I stopped being able to get them down me because they are SO BIG. Bloody huge!

@H1900 I hope you are sleeping now. There are loads of stupid wankers driving vans (mostly men) who drive like absolute idiots, thinking they're so cool & important, trying to intimidate people (mostly, but not exclusively, women).

I put my car onto cruise control dead on the limit and ignore them. After a bit if possible I pull in/move over, as I prefer to have them in front of me.

She doesn't seem to give a shit about the pedestrians, or that somenody visually impaired could have stepped onto the road, only the consequences fo herself.

It is the advice given by driving instructors and is called defensive driving. Not bad or dangerous advice.

Are you a tailgater? If so, back off!

You’d also fail your driving test for not doing the speed limit so your point is irrelevant

He was probably on his phone 😡

It's not the advice given by my driving instructor 30 years ago, the Highway Code, the RAC, and pretty much every other reputable source you can find online.

I don't think you understand what defensive driving is. As to your last question - I'm not even going to bother engaging with that petty nonsense.

OP are you quite a new driver? When I first started driving, every time I made a really minor mistake I would be convinced that the Police would bang down my door.

Granted this is slightly different as it’s really not ideal to run a red-light, no one was hurt and the most you will get is 3 points. You can’t worry about it continuously for 2 weeks. Remember, control the things you have control over, let go of the things you cannot control. More than likely it will be fine.

I took my test 10 years ago so more currently than yours and things do change over time. There are new editions of the highway code all the time.

Actully the institute of advanced motorists does tell you that if someone is driving too close behind you then you should open a larger gap in front of you as they've stopped you having a large enough safety gap. Even more so in wet weather.

Feel free not to engage with learning :)

Based on that photo, you'll be fine, also remember that the lights have a short delay of 2 or 3 seconds where both sets will be on RED, so you didn't put anyone at risk either.... unless they were doing the same as you!! but that didn't happen, so stop worrying!!!

Learn from your experience and move on, you cannot change the past but you can alter how you deal with a similar situation in the future.