Looking back - my mother was abusive. These are the incidents :
Slapping me across the face repeatedly when I was 4 years old
Shouting drunken abuse at me when I was around 4
Calling me fat and clumsy
Ganging up on and using kids from other families and deliberately making sure she knew I was being left out of her spiteful discussions with them
Cutting my hair aged 11 without my consent when I’d made a huge effort to grow it
Drunkenly throwing me out of the house twice when I was a teen cos she had a tantrum
When I was 19 pulling off a very spiteful stunt to thwart my relationship
Forcing me into ‘friendships’ with other kids and calling me selfish at my lack of sociability
Going into a drunken tantrum on holiday out of the blue and making me feel to blame for her unhappy life
I’ve only recently realised how bad she really was as I’ve thought about various incidents in a new light.
Funnily enough. the thing that affected me most is not the most ‘traumatic’ thing on the face of it. It’s when I’d lost weight aged 13 and for the first time in my life I was a normal weight and not fat and was feeling the happiest and most hopeful I’d been in my life - and she criticised the fact I didn’t socialise much and in a bitter voice called me ‘totally selfish’ - I mean - Jesus wept !! I think I was more affected by this than anything cos when you feel shit anyway nothing matters but when you feel happy and hopeful and that’s then ruined in some way - that has more impact