Remove myself from WhatsApp group?

[H0TSUB]

I am having the worst year of my life. My Ds has been in hospital for two months among other things. I am generally a happy and fun person but I have been very sad due to a number of sad events in my family. I am part of a WhatsApp group of old friends who don't live close by where we chat every day but I'm finding it hard to contribute at all and I'm also finding all their happy Christmas photos difficult , I love that they're doing nice things but it's hard for me to see and I cry every day anyway. Shall I politely remove myself/ follow along and not post/ archive. Can't really archive because that would be rude.
I am not the only one of us having struggles, another is going through a divorce.
I don't want them not to share all their things because of me and they are good friends, how do I manage this?

I would archive then you can't see the notifications. I don't think it's rude as they won't know you've done it. You can look back at the posts if/when you feel up to it.

No one will know you’ve archived the chat, and you can rejoin it discussion when you’re ready.

I suggest you don't remove yourself, just mute the group. Be open with them and tell them you're going through some tough times and need a bit of me time. If they're good friends, they will understand. I have a very virtual group of friends, only met them few times in RL as we don't live in the same country but when one is in trouble, the rest rallies around her.
What do you know, maybe they will cheer you up a bit.
I hope your DS has a speedy recovery.

Hi everyone, I won't be on the chat for awhile as I have a lot onboard at the moment but will check in again in the New Year. Hope you all have a lovely Christmas. Best wishes, Diane.

Why can't you write something like that?

Yes I think I would need to say something but I don't want to be a bloody drama queen either
I don't think I can just archive because they'd wonder where I am and that's more drama

You can put them into a locked chat so you don't get any notifications

This, or if you want to keep it even more casual, something like:

Hi everyone, been loving seeing all your lovely Christmas pics and news (string of heart emojis if you use them). Sorry if I've not been as responsive as usual, as you know I've had a lot on with DS but sending you all lots of love.

Then mute or archive the group? Surely if they're good friends they know very well what's going on and aren't expecting lots of gushing positive responses from you? The etiquette very much in group chats where one member is going through some stuff e.g. bereavement, divorce, ill health seems to be evolving that after an initial acknowledgement of the issue and sending of love and support, the chat carries on much as previously but with no expectation on that person to be responding as before, then people then check in with and support the person individually or even a whole new group/chat/thread is set up specifically for supporting or updates from that person - feels a little alien to us oldies who aren't used to all this WhatsApp stuff but I can see that a thread whose purpose is for sharing happy pics and news and light chat with a wide audience would be derailed or die entirely if none of this could be shared for fear of upsetting one member (and it's hardly nice to start a whole new 'happy' thread excluding the sad person), nor would the person in question necessarily want that. But I do find it quite 'off' personally to be sending pics of my cat and memes and jokes to someone who I know is having a really hard time - but then again I assume myself they've just muted the thread and would never be offended by it!

I had a period of time where I was finding being in a WhatsApp group very difficult. I archived the chat so that I wasn’t getting notifications and then would just open the archive folder and access the chat periodically when I was feeling up to it and react with an emoji to a few of the recent photos/ posts so that it didn’t look like I was completely inactive. After a while I changed so the chat was just muted and then eventually felt up to unmute it and continue as usual. Nobody ever said anything, tbh I don’t think people are usually keeping tabs on who is saying what within a group chat but if you do think it would cause drama to go quiet just mute/ archive and then contribute every few days when you are feeling strong enough. For me it helped to have that control and just not to get the messages filtering in at all points across the day every day.

Muting or archiving seems reasonable in the circumstances.

However I do get that in this group of friends on everyday contact - your absence would be noticable.

You could always tell individuals that you need to be a bit quiet for a while - and not to worry if they don't see you on WhatsApp much. (Perhaps not everyone in the group needs to know but even if they do it might work.) If they are friends - they will understand and also appreciate that they are important to you.

I too would feel that announcing to the group seems a bit too dramatic.

Just mute it so it doesn’t pop up.

They won’t be able to see that you’ve archived or muted it.

I think it is hard to return to a group if you are absent for a long while. Not for them, they would welcome you back, just that in my experience friends have found this hard if they step away from a group. I recommend just muting, doing a simple happy christmas message next week, and then again at new year. Remember they are your friends and care about you, so you could tell them how you feel and get some support. (Perhaps plan to do that in January so you can mute their happy photos over xmas if that is too hard for now).

I'd choose on one person from the group you feel a little closer to and explain. I know when that happens in my friends group it gets around and we all tread a little lighter and reach out personally. I wouldn't go all out and remove yourself. Sorry you are having such a hard time. Please know that good times can follow

I think it's super reasonable to explain it's been a tough year and you're taking a breather from WhatsApp for a bit. Say you can't wait to see people and catch up in the NY. Then archive that shit.

Archiving (which no one will know about but you) is far less rude than leaving the group.

Just message and wish them all a merry Christmas and say you’re taking a break over Christmas with all that’s been going on and you’ll get in touch in the new year, and then archive.

Removing yourself would cause more drama than temporarily archiving the group.

I noticed a friend of mine hadn’t posted in our group chat for a while. I messaged her privately to check she was okay; she said she was fine, but had just been crazy busy. Drama over.

Could you just mute it and then if and when you're feeling able to face the messages you can pop back in. They won't know you've muted it.

This no one will know and turn off notifications

Do you have one close friend in the group who could pass on the message you're going to be absent from the chat for a bit?

There are only 5 of us. They will notice if I'm not there even for a day or two, but ill just mute and come back and hopefully that will be ok with them

Or maybe this

Thank you so kind

5!! One with a child in hospital and one divorcing... I changed my view. You are a small close group, you should tell them openly that you're finding the happy photos hard. Let them support you, don't block off your emotions from friends just when you need them. They are your friends, they care for you, just tell them.

I don't want them not to be able to enjoy each others photos or see the group as somewhere sad and miserable

Your divorcing friend is probably feeling left out too. I would much prefer to support a friend than see photos of someone else's ice skating or whatever. Really. Please give your friends the chance to support you by just opening up and telling them you're finding it hard.