Am I unreasonable to think that people are becoming more and more inconsiderate?

[Minimili]

I’m currently on holiday, it was a surprise present for DPs 40th.

The weather hasn’t been great but today the sun finally showed its face.

People are all making the most of it and lying by the pool, it’s an adult only hotel so very peaceful and a few people dozing off with others reading and sunbathing.

DP was fast asleep and I was reading, there are a couple next to me who pull out their phone and start blasting rock music and singing along loudly.
DP jumped out of his skin and I was seething so got up and stomped off. I moved away and they turned the music up so it’s actually sounding distorted.

There were about 12 people sat around that part of the pool and every single one has moved away so the noisy couple have lots of space right in the sun and others are trying to find sun round the side other part of the pool, we can still hear it though.

The couple have been drinking all day, the women did mention turning it down but the man kept saying “fuck em” and singing along even louder. I don’t think anyone wants to confront people who obviously are unreasonable.

I might go and speak to staff but I think it’ll be obvious it was me that said something as I’m the only one who showed annoyance when I moved away, it’s also going to get cooler soon.

Why would anyone think this is a fair thing to do when people are sleeping and relaxing? I know we get regular threads like this with people blasting music in A&E and on public transport but it just seems extra rude to do it on holiday by a pool.
They are obviously playing on YouTube because after every few songs you get loud adverts blasting, they are also skipping tracks constantly.

I really needed a rant because I feel pure rage and I’m not sure if this warrants such a strong reaction. I do have severe misophonia but that usually centres around unreasonable noise, with the amount of people moving away I’m guessing it’s reasonable to feel angry!

I guess my AIBU is wondering if I would be reasonable enough to mention it to staff or would you just feel too intimidated like me and DP do?

I was going to share a photo with faces blacked out but it felt too outing as there are quite a few outing details here already, but I am too angry to care. It’s hopefully also unusual to see the whole poolside empty except 2 selfish people!

Use your words? Speak to the staff, who gives a shit if they know its you?

Seething silently won't do anything as they clearly give zero fucks.

Speak to the staff. I doubt idiot man would even realise anyone had and what’s he going to do ?

I am thinking about it but you are right they don’t give a fuck and they also might not give a fuck about getting aggressive and I would prefer not to instigate a scene.

Part of me knows it’s the right thing to do, this is why people are so entitled because no one stands up to them. If it was earlier in the day then it would be a bit more worthwhile but it’s going cool now anyway.

The fact no one else is willing to confront them or speak to staff shows how intimidating the man is. He clearly wanted a confrontation by getting louder.

YABU because you should have dealt with it! Why didn't you just find a bit of backbone, tell reception and they'd have sorted it. So what if they knew it was you?

He’s coming across as pretty aggressive, he was ranting earlier about his sunglasses going missing and staring around at people, his wife found them under his seat but he stood up and shouted loudly before even looking.

I would have probably replied the same if someone else had posted but it’s different when you are in the situation…

I just mentioned it to staff in passing and they said they are keeping an eye on this man and are aware there are issues.

I would tell the staff.

I would mention to staff - there's no reason why the complaint would be linked to you.

They're obviously pissed and may well be embarrassed when they sober up.

You're never going to see them again, speak to the staff and don't waste your holiday in your hotel room while people like that have a nice time.

I wasn’t going to let them banish me to the room… just the shade 😂.

I did speak to staff in the end who made it clear they knew who I was talking about and had their eye on him. Afterwards I spoke to a few other people who moved away from the couple outside. A few people had been on the same flight which was a night flight, they said this couple were drinking a lot and loud the whole flight and asked to keep it down.

Some people just like to cause an argument and I prefer not to rise to it, I’ve been in that situation before where someone has pushed for a reaction and when they get one I was accused of “starting it”

It’s our last night and we’ve gone out of the hotel so hopefully can avoid them till we go home.

I don’t know what’s changed but I genuinely do feel people have become more intolerant and selfish and insular, mobile phones have been around for over 20 years but in my experience it seems to be only the past few years people have behaved like this and not given a shit about anyone else. I don’t know if anyone else feels the same? DP says we are just unlucky and are arsehole magnets 😂.

Years ago i would have complained. Now I'd be too afraid they'd attack me. So no. But yes people are absolutely horrid nowadays. Not all. Thankfully

CFs get away with this sort of behaviour because no one wants to confront them. Which i get, there's so many instances of people standing up against anti social behaviour and it ending badly. I think there's a whole raft of reasons why, but rudeness and uncivility is much more prevalent than it was.

This definitely reminds me of a time about 13 years ago in Spain when a teenage boy and girl were playing ball in the pool. It clearly said not to do it and the lifeguard asked them to stop. The girl's response was "but noone is in the pool" to which I piped up that id been waiting to get in the pool but their game was dominating the small space. The girl was obviously not used to people disagreeing with her and she stormed off.
A short while later, while we were all in the pool this clearly aggressive bloke approaches the lifeguard and asks where I was. Lifeguard pleaded ignorance...
Again a short while later I was sunbathing, topless on my front, and the dad found me and got so close to my face telling me not to speak to his daughter ever again. My sis was next to me and was so disgusted she jumped to my defense and basically told the guy he was a pervert and to P off. All while I was trying to arrange my bikini top and defend myself.
You're damned if you do or don't. Maybe i was the only person irritated by their pool game. But i was also irritated at the lack of respect for the lifeguard and the rules.. she seemed to throw her dummy out her pram, i didn't lose any sleep over it.
Can see why, unless there's a collective confrontation, you'd not be too keen to do so.